Write And Wrong November 2, 2009 11:24 AM | permalink

 We found an interesting new blog today that combines some of the elements of our dumb criminal posts with the personal touch of Found magazine.

Welcome to Bank Notes, a collection of actual notes handed to bank tellers by both successful and unsuccessful robbers, along with security camera stills and mugshots if the perp was arrested. Most are chilling in their desperation. Sort of like Twitter, but with more of an actual goal in mind.

Perhaps my favorite part of the site are the categories, cleverly organized so you could see, for example, all of the robberies where the bandit says "thanks."  While there is only a small sample group of these polite thieves, it appears that minding one's manners doesn't necessarily aid the career of a would-be bank robber.

All three of the individuals who wrote "thanks" in their notes were eventually arrested.

Other highlights include the guy who specifically wrote "no tracking devices" and was caught by a tracking device, the bandit who successfully knocked off a bank with a cereal box, and the 91-year-old bank robber who was a man of few words. 

(HT to boingboing for the find)

Pumpkin Dork Dance October 30, 2009 3:39 PM | permalink

Nebraska, we hardly know ya. But we know that this disturbing video out of KVXO in Omaha from 2006 is now ripe to be burning up the internets.

Oh but shoot! Checking out their funny "The End" video from 2007, looks like the talented news nuts at KXV0 were all fired. Poo.

Kool Keith & His 98-Year-Old Fridgerator Theory October 14, 2009 3:07 PM | permalink

Kool Keith is insane, but even the craziest of crazies has a moment or two of clarity that nobody sees coming.  Case in point, his incredibly lucid method of keeping people away from his edibles, which amounts to teaching your taste buds to like the taste of say, soda water, over Kool-Aid.  Just don't ask me what 'Oak Ridge' cake is... 

New Dumb Category: Alaska October 9, 2009 4:03 PM | permalink

Oh hey everybody, that mutilated carcass recently found on top of an office building in midtown Anchorage?  The one with the severed head and spinal column and stuff? 

Well no worries, it turns out it's just a moose.

Wait, why is a dismembered moose atop a roof in a business park?

Gee, you ask a lot of silly questions!

***

OK, I know Florida has long been the go-to comedy mine for dumb criminals and assorted oddness, but seems the Land of the Midnight Sun has been stepping up to the plate with a pu pu platter of priceless dumb news.  Like this.  And this. And of course, this.

So that's why we hereby introduce "Alaska" as a brand new category on this here blog.  Onward!  Let's head north to the future of dumb!

IMAGE: Alistair Moose Trophy, by Carrie Goller, $45 plus shipping here on Etsy.

Knit Nipple Covers? October 5, 2009 9:55 AM | permalink

No.

Are you serious?

Handmade pasties for tanning bed use?

And you can request specific colors?

Yes, for sale on Etsy right here, only $5 plus free shipping.

Because exactly who is seeing you in that there tanning bed?

Not sure.  They seem like the silliest idea ever.  But still, if you wanna let your freak flag fly, these might be better than a stick in the eye.

Related: There's still time to enter the Get Rehab Ready Sweepstakes for your chance to WIN a trip to Vegas, 12 bottles of lotion and a year-long tanning package from Hollywood Tans... where you may or may not wanna break out these knit thingys.

Sweepstakes ends 10/20/09 so enter now!

Does Your Yard Lack for a Psychedelic Mini-Space Shuttle? September 30, 2009 2:17 PM | permalink

Well you are in luck!

Starting October 1st, you can bid on your choice of 22 little painted shuttles, all of which look like they are precariously poised on a black or white traffic cone. 

Plus, unlike most art, these babies have been coated with automotive seal for outdoor use.  Beat that, Mona Lisa! 

Don't answer yet.  The bidding starts at $500, but after you get drunk at the Kennedy Space Center's October 8th reception and buy one of these fiberglass hot messes, and your spouse threatens to leave you, you can snap at them and say, "But the money goes to a good cause!"

And it does -- money raised goes to a scholarship fund for smarty pants science students.  So go ahead and buy a shuttle painted like a zebra. There are dumber things you could do. 

Note: Dumb As a Blog is not responsible if your partner leaves you for purchasing one of these thingys.

What's Black & White & Red All Over? September 18, 2009 2:23 PM | permalink

See if you can resist clicking this article that's out today:

It's called, Man Injured by Cow Falling.

Right?  Impossible.  You had to. 

Even stranger, seems news of being bombed by bovines is nothing new.  Here''s a guy who was done in by one in 1902!

To paraphrase the classic line from Hill Street Blues, Hey hey hey people, let's be cow-ful out there.

Bunny Petting Cafes? August 31, 2009 4:38 PM | permalink

In Japan, customers pay to eat and cuddle bunnies. I have nothing more to say, my mind just exploded.

Dumb Obsession: Singing & Dancing in the City August 25, 2009 3:08 PM | permalink

I get hot watching people in Capezios dance their leg warmers off on the tops of cars.  And I thrill to three sailors who tour their way through Manhattan musical-style.

But I think my favorite example of over the top downtown drama is the fierce torch song sung inside a frozen New York City park in this clip from Milos Forman's film version of the musical Hair.  Here's an animated gif tribute I made to the amazing Cheryl Barnes:

If there's one message to take away here, it's think globally, act locally.  If there's two messages to take away, I'd add singing show tunes in public can help you get your way.

According to Wikipedia, Cheryl Barnes (pictured) was an unagented hotel maid in Maine who did that whole performance in one take.  Holy crap. 

PS How the heck did they get that toddler to stand there obediently for the whole song?  Did they staple his shoes to the pavement?  According to IMDB his name is Rahsaan Curry and by my estimate he'd be in his 30's.  Rahsaan: Where are you now?

New Site Makes Str8 Single Dudes Feel Like Poo August 21, 2009 10:39 AM | permalink

The new Tumblr Very Trite has a reoccurring theme I love.  It's called "People who are married and you're not?"  Some examples:

Bernie Madoff is married...

The World's Fattest Man is married...

Abu Grahib prison guard alum Charles Graner is married...

And you're not!

All the entries are hilarious and cruel to the unhitched heteros out there.

I want more more more!

Image: 1904, LOC, Young man with opium pipe reclining on a sofa covered with furs, Title: "When bachelor dens cast over waking hours a loneliness so deep"

UPDATE 8/24: The site knows how to milk a good thing and is now calling itself People Who are Married And You're Not.