Not Exactly Justice January 26, 2009 12:06 PM | permalink

We've all heard the story of Bernard Madoff, the disgraced former businessman who was allegedly responsible for defrauding individuals, banks and charities out of roughly fifty billion dollars.

How do you punish a man who steals fifty billion dollars?

Well, several Palm Beach teenagers have reportedly taken the law into their own hands and toilet-papered his Florida vacation home. Now, that may seem like a small step, seeing as it's the kind of punishment usually reserved for minor crimes, like running out of fun-size Snickers bars on Halloween, or teaching high school French.

Obviously, this gesture of petulant defiance won't make that much difference in the punishment that Madoff, if he's found guilty, will ultimately receive. But still, as you look back through history, aren't there some figures who you wish might have been on the receiving end of some good, old fashioned, prankster-style abuse?

Adolph Hitler, for instance, committed suicide with the knowledge that his Reich had crumbled. I'd be thrilled if I read that shortly before the Fuhrer took his own life, he heard the doorbell of his bunker ring, and upon answering the door, saw a small fire burning, and stamped it out, only to splatter his immaculately shined jackboots with hot, sticky dog crap, which had been carefully loaded into a brown paper bag and set alight by a pair of indignant gypsy teens.

It's not exactly justice.

But you know, it's a start.

 

Stupid Pleasures: Tiniest Violin Serenade November 24, 2008 10:16 AM | permalink

While it's wrong to enjoy someone else's misfortune, it's a little easier to not feel sorry for people who have a fortune, right? 

Especially when all they are losing is money.  I mean, Kirsten Dunst having her $13,000 handbag swiped?  Cry me a river!

So, if like me, you enjoy a little schadenfreude in the morn, visit the truTV library to find out how stars like Lindsay Lohan and Hugh Laurie got their precious stuff snatched in our "Rich, Famous & Robbed" photo gallery right here.

Michael Jackson Voted Richest, Most Reckless Celebrity of Our Time! September 5, 2008 12:04 PM | permalink

Thanks to the 13,000+ of you who made your voices heard. I'm encouraged that blog readers went with long-term, substantially crazy and not just flash-in-the-pan, celebutante crazy that's so popular these days. MJ had no trouble knocking off LiLo in the final round 79% to 20%, proving once again, the bracket system works.

For all prior matchups and vote results, click here. Also, don't forget to weigh in on the all important coming election, Dumb Criminal of the Week!

Not So Sweet 16 - The Final Conflict August 26, 2008 1:42 PM | permalink

After casting nearly 12,000 votes, Dumb as a Blog readers have whittled down the Not So Sweet 16 to just two stars vying for the dubious, yet coveted, title, "World's Richest and Most Reckless Celebrity." It's a classic battle between two childhood stars warped at an early age by their messed-up dads, by too much attention and by too much money. It's a battle of the old and the new, the historically unstable and the currently deeply troubled.

LINDSAY LOHAN built up plenty of good will by the time she was a teenager. She starred in "The Parent Trap," "Freaky Friday," and "Mean Girls." Though it wasn't as good, she rocked the box office in "Herbie: Fully Loaded," as well as recording a couple of albums. Nothing could stand in her way, except maybe Lindsay.

Indeed, she choose her next films poorly: "Just My Luck," "Chapter 27," "Georgia Rule," and "I Know Who Killed Me." (Yes, those are all movies starring Lindsay Lohan). She had three car accidents in three years, at least one of which was alcohol and drug related. She was caught with cocaine, acknowledged her drug use and checked herself into rehab. She was sufficiently out of control that many in Hollywood considered her uninsurable.

MICHAEL JACKSON had the world on a string by age 10. He was beloved in a way that can only mess you up later on. As a grown-up, Michael was accused of sexually abusing a minor in a case that settled out of court. Twelve years later he was brought up on similar charges though he was ultimately acquitted. He has changed his appearance radically over the last two decades and managed to jeopardize one of the great personal fortunes of all time. He dangled his baby over a balcony and, at the risk of pissing off his judge, displayed a unique sense of appropriate court attire which was not always appreciated.

And so there it is, the battle royale. Who will it be? Who wants it more? The choice is yours.

Check out all the past brackets here.

Not So Sweet 16 - Final Four: Lohan v. Tyson August 19, 2008 11:30 AM | permalink

Here it is, your second-to-last chance to vote on the big question, who is the richest, most reckless celeb of our time? We're down to the hardcore candidates and the winner of this pairing will set the stage for the final battle. Who gets your vote? Dear, sweet, innocent Lindsay Lohan or dear, sweet, innocent Mike Tyson?

Pound for pound, Tyson could knock out Lohan with his pinky finger's cuticle, but this match-up doesn't happen between the ropes on a  canvas mat. It happens in the bars and night spots where otherwise sane celebrities drink, act out and screw up royally.

For Lindsay's list of recent foibles, click here.

For Iron Mike's myriad missteps, click here.

To view all past brackets, click here.

Continue reading "Not So Sweet 16 - Final Four: Lohan v. Tyson" »

Not So Sweet 16 Final Four: Jackson v. Downey, Jr. August 12, 2008 9:00 AM | permalink

The end is near... in a good way. Only two bouts left before the final battle in our bracket to name the richest, most reckless celeb of our time. Today's semi-final: The King of Pop v. Iron Man.

Robert's got a tough row to hoe here. Yes, he's rich, and yes he's been reckless, but has he been MJ rich and reckless? Downey seems more lovably messed up than certified wacko, but I'm sure that's what all enablers say. To my knowledge he's never changed his skin tone or bone structure, was accused of sleeping with small boys or had a best friend who was a chimp. Of course, he's still young, but I don't think that's on his "to do" list.

Anyway, do you really need me to write more about these two? If you don't know who Michael Jackson and Robert Downey, Jr. are I'm surprised you can operate a computer. Still not sure? Type Google.com into the top line on your screen and hit enter. Type Michael or Robert's name in and hit enter again. See all the links? Cool, huh? Yes, it's called a search engine.

P.S. Don't forget to eat food to survive.

For all the bracket match-ups and results so far, click here.

Not So Sweet Sixteen - Round 2 Results! August 7, 2008 9:31 AM | permalink

Welcome to the Final Four!

We're closing in on our quest to name the richest, most reckless celeb of our time. The competition's been fierce. There's been ear biting, baby dangling, drunk driving (with and without Jewish slurs) and all around dysfunction worthy of the most tony rehab.

So without further ado...

What a difference a few months make! When we started this bracket, it seemed a fait accompli Britney would take it all, provided she survived the public scrutiny and her own ritual sacrifice. But a few months out of the limelight and she couldn't even beat Michael Jackson. Not that Jackson's a slouch when it comes to crazy, but his knockout of Britney, 71% to 28%, was the most lopsided late round victory.

Lindsay Lohan fended off Paris Hilton in a fair fight that could have gone either way, but ultimately didn't. Lindsay garnered 55% of the votes to Paris' 44%.

Robert Downey, Jr., defeated Mel Gibson, 58% to 41%, as Mel managed to stay out of the public eye long enough for our short memories to reset to zero. Is this country great or what?

And perhaps the biggest upset, Mike Tyson knocked out scrawny Amy Winehouse, 53% to 46%, despite Winehouse relapsing 47 more times since voting began. It seems, as with Michael beating Britney, that long time crazy and financial stupidity still count for something in this zany, messed up world. It's almost enough to renew one's faith in the entire electoral process.

Almost.

Click here to see all the prior brackets and results.

Thanks to the more than 4,600 of you who voted (and curses to the rest). Your chance to make amends is coming up when the Final Four square off next week. Stay tuned and remember, rich and reckless is not just a state of mind, it's a... (please use the comment section to finish this sentence. I got nothing).

 

Not So Sweet 16 - Winehouse v. Tyson July 29, 2008 9:44 AM | permalink

Closing out Round 2 in our search for the richest, most reckless celebrity of our time is a real bruiser of a contest. Amy "I Don't Need No Stinkin' Rehab" Winehouse v. Mike "I Can't Stop F'*ing Up My Own S*" Tyson. May the most dysfunctional famous person win!

Here are some highlights from their Round 1 write-ups...

AMY WINEHOUSE has achieved much in her 24 years. She's tied for tenth on the UK's Sunday Times List of Wealthiest Musicians Under 30, she's tied for Most Grammys by a Female Artist in one night, and she's tied for most times dropping out of rehab in a single year (unofficial). She's partial to self-mutilation, long walks at night in her bra and has already smoked enough to show early signs of emphysema. Not bad for a 24year-old, eh?

MIKE TYSON was once known as Iron Man, the youngest heavyweight champion of the world, but now is best known as "The troubled former heavyweight." He was convicted of rape back in 1992, made a failed comeback in which he bit off a chunk of Evander Holyfield's ear in 1997, bit Lennox Lewis in the leg at a press conference, and was arrested for criminal damage, drunk driving and cocaine possession in sundry incidents. Despite making over $300 million during his career (RICH!), he filed for bankruptcy in 2003 saying he owed $27 million (RECKLESS!).

And so, let the voting begin!

Click here to view prior match-ups and check for bracket updates.

 

Not So Sweet 16 - Round 2: Robert Downey, Jr. v. Mel Gibson July 25, 2008 10:38 AM | permalink

Welcome back to Round 2 of our single elimination bracket seeking to crown the richest, most reckless celebrity of our time. Today's battle is more of a drunken brawl. Two big names, two big personalities, two big falls from Hollywood grace.

Here are the highlights from their Round 1 write-ups...

ROBERT DOWNEY, JR. is so reckless he was uninsurable for part of his career. The most common word in articles about his drinking, drug use and trouble with the law is "again."  In 1996, Downey famously joined the elite Margot Kidder and Anne Heche club when cops say he wandered into a neighbor's home and fell asleep, thinking it was his own digs. Rich, yes. Reckless, sure. Still my favorite actor? You bet.

MEL GIBSON is definitely rich and reckless, and when I say rich, I mean really rich, and when I say reckless, I mean alcoholic and a tad anti-semitic. Here is an actor and director with two Academy Awards, a man Forbes Magazine named The World's Most Powerful Celebrity back in 2004, who now can't get arrested, except, of course, when he gets arrested. In 2006 he was pulled over for DUI and made drunken references to the F*ing Jews. A less reckless man might have skipped that part, but Mel wants the title, even if he has to f*&%! s*^& every *!@^ Jew to prove it.

So now it falls to you, gentle reader...

Click here to view prior match-ups and check for bracket updates.

 

 

Not So Sweet Sixteen: Paris v. Lindsay July 17, 2008 11:59 AM | permalink

Welcome back. Miss me? 'Preciate it.

We're closing in on the richest, most reckless celebrity of our time as chosen by you, our Dumb reader.

Today may pose THE match-up of the whole bracket. Media whore v. media whore, troubled sexpot v. troubled sexpot, waif v. waif. That's right, it's time for PARIS v. LINDSAY.

Here are highlights from their first round scorecards:

PARIS HILTON is heiress to a billion dollar fortune and has made her own coin, not to mention sex tape. She told Larry King she never used drugs, despite more than a half dozen internet videos to the contrary. She's been charged with drunk driving, reckless driving and driving on a suspended license in violation of probation -- all separate incidents -- and was sentenced to 45 days in jail accordingly.

LINDSAY LOHAN has gone from squeaky clean to freaky teen. She has been hospitalized for everything from a broken wrist (after falling off her shoes, glug, glug) to the dubious malady of "overheating." Her drunk driving has earned her points, in a bad way, causing her to be in and out of jail and in and out of rehab. Her self-destructive weight-loss has at times made Mary-Kate look healthy.

Be sure to watch "Rich & Reckless" Fridays at 10pm e/p on truTV. It's real-life stories about people who went too far in an attempt to have it all.