Deep Dish Pie Chart? November 24, 2009 11:32 AM | permalink

We know that those deep dish pizzas in Chicago are much thicker than the pies elsewhere around the country, but I wasn't aware that you could also find that much extra dough in the Windy City's pie charts. Generally, when you are adding up percentages, the sum should be 100. Well, this Chicago news team certainly went the extra mile.

OK, not only is he telling us that Sarah Palin, Mitt Romney and Mike Huckabee make up 193 percent of support for the GOP nomination for President, which at a first glance- looks a bit high, he doesn't mention what that percentage represents.

In case you're concerned how a news outlet that can count might interpret the same data, here's a summary of the same results from the Boston Globe's political intelligence blog.

America's Youth: Fat Dumb Criminals? November 3, 2009 11:52 AM | permalink

A bipartisan, non-profit group called "Mission Readiness" held a press conference this week to call for, among other things,  funding for the Virgina Preschool Initiative, which could cost an estimated $30 to 35 million dollars a year. This program would be part of the group's overall national strategy to provide more at-risk children with early education in order to increase graduation rates, reduce crime and improve physical fitness among young people.

So what makes this group so different from other do-gooder liberal-type groups with the same agenda? Apparently, they are upset that Americans have gotten too fat, stupid and criminally active to even get killed overseas.

According to statistics released by the Pentagon, 70 percent of American youth have inadequate education, criminal records or physical problems that preclude them from joining the military. And according to Mission Readiness, that threatens national security. 

So basically, if there are still any people out there who oppose funding for preschool programs, this is a group of retired military men reminding us that we are producing so many fat, stupid criminals in this country that when these people waddle up to Army recruitment windows, and actually ask to be sent to Afghanistan with a rifle, we can't in good conscience let that happen. 

The funny thing is, there will probably be a group who comes out against them. 

Stay tuned.

Election Day Special: Just How Stupid Are We? Author Richard Shenkman November 2, 2009 2:59 PM | permalink

Richard Shenkman is an associate professor of history at George Mason University and a New York Times best-selling author. His latest book is Just How Stupid Are We? Facing the Truth About the American Voter .

In the book Shenkman  provides some frightening statistics: most Americans cannot name their representatives in Congress, only 20% hold a passport and 30% don't know about the Holocaust. 

How stupid are Americans?

I don’t believe it’s helpful to call the American people "stupid." It’s a generalization that’s too glib to be more than an eye-catching headline and basically we used the word stupid in the title of the book just to catch people’s attention.  As a group, American’s can’t be classified as stupid; nor can you say that they are smart, which is what you hear from politicians all the time.

What we do know is that most Americans are “low information voters.” When you don’t even have a majority of them knowing what the three branches of government are it’s very difficult to hold a serious conversation about politics. We have politicians using slogans and sound bytes to try to gain support for one position or another and it’s all conducted at a very superficial level.

What does this say about America?

You get the government you deserve, you get the politics you deserve and you get the media you deserve.  And one of the reasons why the politicians often sound so dumb on television is because they understand who the audience is and they know what is going to trigger a positive response from the voters; It’s not going to be a detailed discussion on policy, because that’s going to go over the head of most people.

So they reduce their appeals to some bumper sticker slogan.  And that’s obviously a situation that’s unwelcome. You can’t run the world’s largest democracy on that basis.

So therefore, are dumb Americans voting for dumb politicians?

I spent a lot of time in Washington D.C. and I actually believe that the politicians are not dumb as a group. They tend to be pretty smart.  But they are hampered in their ability to do a good job because they are working for people who don’t know very much. 

So do you think politicians dumb themselves down for the American people?

There’s no question about it. 

What motivates people to vote for a candidate?

Political scientists say the most important factor is how their parent’s vote. Family shapes political values and relationships early on.

Another factor, and here’s where you get into things that you can’t measure, is likability. People vote on personality.

Plus, there are demographic characteristics of voters that make them lean either toward the Democratic Party or toward the Republican Party.  If you go to church weekly, you have a much better chance of being a Republican than being a Democrat.  That’s a fact.  If you drive a Volvo, shop at Whole Foods or  read the Village Voice, you are more likely to be a Democrat.

Nowadays people have more access to information via television, websites, radio, newspapers… yet are we stupider in reference to politics than we were fifty years ago?

Fifty years ago, social scientists started surveying what Americans actually know about politics and their government.  They found out Americans knew very little. 

But now, if anything, they know even less, which is shocking.  In 1940, six out of ten Americans hadn’t gotten past the eighth grade.  Today, most American’s have attended college.  The fact that we are testing at the same level and in some cases lower levels than our parents and grandparents is absolutely shocking.

Why the increasing ignorance?

The two most important causes to this level of increasing ignorance are television and the collapse of the two-party system. 

Television is factor because it’s a terrible communicator of information.  It’s a medium of entertainment.  It doesn’t allow us to get real knowledge and voters get most of what they know from TV.  People see candidates so they are inclined to make judgment based on personality, rather than if that person is a leader or brilliant, factors that would have impressed people more before television.

Plus, when we had a vibrant two-party system, the voters were informed by a party boss or a labor boss, who gave them advice on how to vote and why.  Today, we celebrate the independent voter who is not told what to do or think.  But, the voter who is left on his own winds up picking up information about politics in the most superficial disconcerting ways, by watching 30 second commercials, by judging politicians by how they look or appear in a debate or five-second news byte.

That isn’t a way to run a democracy.

Are you blaming the media for making Americans stupid?

No.  I’m saying that if people aren’t members of mass institutions like political parties or labor unions, it is very difficult for them, on their own, to figure out what is going on.  The Republicans figured that out in the 1990’s, which is why they started organizing evangelical churches from one end of the country to the other.  In other words, they learned to use a mass institution to create foot soldiers in their army of supporters, and it’s what gave George W. Bush a victory in 2004.

So, who is to blame for American’s stupidity?

If you want to blame anybody, look in the mirror.  Ultimately, if you want to have a democracy it’s not going to be any better than the people are.  If you don’t want to take that responsibility, and I say this somewhat glibly, but I also mean it, move to a place like Russia, where the leaders are happy to make all the decisions for you.  If you want to live in a democracy, educate yourself.  

The uneducated voter is susceptible to wily politicians, so they are going to count on the stupidity and ignorance of voters to push them around and get elected that way.  You want to live in that kind of country?  I don’t.  I want to live in a country of smart voters.

So, weigh in on a debate we're having in the Dumb As A Blog office.  Is the New Orleans JazzFest stupid or smart?

Wow.  I don’t’ have an opinion on that (laughs). I’m in favor of jazz festivals. So rah rah, go for it.

Parody PSA Hilarity September 29, 2009 10:06 AM | permalink

This brand-new video entitled "Don't Ruin American Healthcare" is well-acted, brilliantly written and makes everyone who is against health care reform look  dumb.  This is what the funnyordie.com celebrity PSA tried to do.  But this one, in my humble stupid opinion, is way better.

FYI the writing is by married wonder kids Sheryl Zohn and Rob Kutner.  Enjoy, and let's Keep America Now, America!

The Love Potato September 22, 2009 10:47 AM | permalink

Once again, we are ahead of the dumb curve as evidenced by all the hoopla being given to a heart-shaped potato Obama received yesterday while appearing on The Late Show with David Letterman.

Obama quipped, "The main reason I'm here?  I want to see that heart-shaped potato."

Of course if this spud sounds familiar, it's because I blogged about a heart-shaped potato in September 2008 right on this here blog.  This romantic carb was given to me and stayed in my Subaru for months afterwards.  I couldn't bring myself to eat it or toss it, until spring came and having a potato in my car seemed weird.*

That there is the original love potato: Accept no substitutes!

*I know, the fact that it didn't seem odd to be driving around with this for about six months is weird.  What can I say?  In New York we can use our vehicles as mobile root cellars.

Scared Straight? September 21, 2009 4:07 PM | permalink

This weekend at something called the "Value Voters Summit," Michael Schwartz, an aide to Republican Senator Tom Coburn quoted an "ex-gay" friend  as saying "all pornography is homosexual pornography" because "pornography turns your sexual drive inwards."

I understand his point. Like a fine cigar, pornography is often enjoyed alone. And so, by Mr. Weigel's logic, if you're the only person in the room, and you aren't a different sex than yourself, then by definition you're in a same-sex relationship, which makes you queer.

Basically, he seems to be twisting the old Woody Allen line "don't knock masturbation; it's sex with someone you love," into the less-clever "go ahead and knock masturbation, because it's sex with a dude."

That's stupid, but if he just left it there, I might be able to let it go.

But he didn't.

Weigel suggested that if an 11-year-old boy was told that looking at porn would make him gay, he would be less likely to pick up a copy of Playboy.

Really?

When I was 11, it was hard to get your hands on a Playboy magazine. I wouldn't put one down if it was actually on fire. Second degree burns fade, but memories live forever.

It was a different time. 

But even we if ignore the troubling dual assumptions in this scenario, first, that your child will actually believe that seeing pictures of naked women will somehow change him into a person who will never be interested in seeing them again, and second, that his hatred for homosexuals has already developed to such an extent that the fear of becoming one would be enough to reverse the course of these basic urges, his examples are fatally flawed as well.

In this day and age, if you approach an 11-year-old boy and tell him that reading Playboy magazine would make him gay, I suspect he'd look up at you and ask "what's a magazine?"

Who Is Stupidist? September 15, 2009 12:57 PM | permalink

If you follow Twitter (follow truTV on Twitter here), you know that the trending topic of the morning was that Terry Moran of  ABC News  tweeted about President Obama's off the record response to the yawnworthy Kanye West-Taylor Swift-non-scandal-scandal by referring to West as a "jackass."

Scandal!

Largely because heath care is too boring to read about, the Twitterati (kill me, please) swung into action and re-tweeted the comment around the world. Realizing that the remark, part of an interview with CNBC, had been uttered during a moment that was off the record, Moran took his tweet down, and ABC apologized. Of course that didn't do any good, and the original tweet can still be found everywhere.

Obviously, there is a lot of stupidity going on here. So we pose the question: In this incident, who is the stupidist? The candidates:

President Obama

As Moran correctly surmised, calling someone "a jackass," is hardly Presidential. On the other hand, Obama had assumed that the remark was off the record, and plus, it was a jackass move on Kanye's part, even if it was a total set up.

Terry Moran

Moran deserves at least as much abuse as Obama here, not only for eavesdropping on an interview being given to another network, but then reporting on an off the record quote. To do it on Twitter  feels sort of extra ugly, like he just overheard the captain of the cheerleading team call the valedictorian a slut, and he just tweeted it to the WHOLE SCHOOL!

Kanye West

Ok, this guy IS a jackass. Still, he is entertaining, and nothing in an entertainer's job description specifically disallows rampant jackassery (See also, Piven, Jeremy; Griffin, Kathy; Top, Carrot).

The CNBC interviewer who asked Obama the off the record question

You work for CNBC, a financial news network, and the President of the United States has visited Wall Street in the wake of one of the biggest financial disasters since the Great Depression, and you're asking him his opinion on Kanye? You think he sits around at work reading Videogum, and wondering if Taylor Swift's feelings got hurt?

Me, for writing this story and perpetuating this entire ridiculous escapade

Where do I get off giving this story legs and distracting people from what's really important in this country?  In my defense, I write for a blog called "Dumb as a Blog" and my other job descriptions include things like diving directly into cardboard boxes, while imitating viral cat videos. So I'm just doin' my job over here.

So what do YOU think?

Franken's Mad Map Skillz EXPOSED! September 15, 2009 12:52 PM | permalink

Everybody was amazed to see Al Franken drawing a map of the U.S.A from memory, but TV Squad found out this was of Al's talents since dinos ruled the land, as evidenced by the Letterman clip (pictured) from way back when Dave had puffy hair.  Note: Start watching at 6:35 or you may fall asleep watching three guys with puffy hair yuk it up before the magic map action happens.

Thing is, it's cool he can do it, but it only made news because Al Franken the Senator did it.  Nobody expects politicians to know anything, except how to have a crazy mega sex scandal.  When you realize Al Franken the comedy writer knew how to do it, it's no big whoop. 

Everybody knows comedians are geeks with OCD, and pick up bar bet tricks faster than a dog picks up a discarded chicken bone.

Take it from me -- a funny gal who can rap The Canturbury Tales prologue in Middle English from memory.  If I become Govenor of New York, this will be news.  Now?  It's just kinda sad.

Brace Yourself, America Philadelphia Is About To Get Dumber September 14, 2009 1:18 PM | permalink

When you think of Philadelphia, what springs into your head? The erudite city of brotherly love that hosted the Second Constitutional Congress in 1775? Images of Thomas Jefferson and John Adams staying up all night composing draft after draft of the document that would become the Declaration of Independence? Benjamin Franklin, the man who invented the public library?

I don't know about you, but when I think of Philly, it's pretty much all Rocky Balboa,  cheesesteaks and Eagles fans booing Santa Claus.

So how can Philadelphia rehabilitate its image? I know one way NOT to:  allowing all its libraries to shut down.

According to the Philadelphia Inquirer:

The Free Library of Philadelphia has posted notices at its branches and on its web site advising users that all libraries will close at the end of business on Oct. 2 if the state Legislature does not act on the city's budget request.

Hey Philadelphia, Franklin also conducted extensive research on electricity. Are you guys gonna turn that off too?

Open Mic Moron September 10, 2009 11:04 AM | permalink

Another day, another creepy fat old married "family values" (read: anti-gay) politician makes us ill with his sexed-up scandals. 

Thanks to Mike Duvall -- pictured here on his website as though nestled in a veritable duvet of American flags -- bragging about his illicit trysts with lady friends all on a live microphone during a Assembly Appropriations Committee meeting, we got to hear tons of inappropriate Assemblyman TMI.  Spanking!  "Little eye-patch underwear"!  Plus other comments about "dripping" and ewwwwwwww... can't go on.  And allegedly the ladies are married lobbyists!

Whee!

Apparently, he may not have been outed by sources if he'd just kept a lid on his lewd elocution.  From the KCAL 9 reporter, "According to sources he loves to talk about his -- quote -- sexual conquests....it makes us all feel very uncomfortable, but it's very difficult to get him to change the subject."

Duvall has just resigned and now Gov. Arnie needs to call a special election to fill this dude's seat, which will cost nearly half a million dollars, not like Cali needs the money -- cough -- or anything.

Oh and on Duvall's website he's not copping to any affairs, just "inappropriate story-telling."

Final dumb thought: OK wait, "little" eye-patch underwear?  Isn't that redundant?  Nobody has peepers that would be big enough for granny panties except a cyclops, right?