A whopping 3,000 truTV Dumb Blog fans exercised their rights to vote for the Dumbest Criminal last week. So who won? The
vain Matthew Maynard of Wales.He didn’t like his mugshot so he mailed a new one into police, and then got clipped
while getting clipped.But he looked
good while doing it.
Now, we have a whole new week’s worth of dumb crooks to
choose from, pictured at the left. So take your pick, and remember they are all
losers. Polls will be open for one week only! :
Once apparently just wasn’t enough for a New Holland, PA woman.
Police say 10 minutes after Cynthia Irene
Locke, 25, was released after being charged with shoplifting, she walked back
into the same store and tried to steal again.
Locke and her boyfriend Jeremiah Shane Barr, 32, were
charged with retail theft at 11:20 am on Wednesday at the Walmart store in Ephrata.They were immediately released.
The duo had allegedly torn tags off of more than $100 worth
of goods and tried to get
them out of the store in a stolen purse.
About two hours later, the same police officer was walking
back into the store when employees notified him the lady was at it again.
This time, Locke allegedly tried to pinch $5 worth of make-up.She was charged with another
count of retail theft.
Now, you tell me who’s the real dummy? Wait for it… because the officer released her
a second time.
Oh so many different things can go wrong and gone are the days
when your moonwalk attempts and lap dancing escapades only live on in acid
flashbacks.
Everyone has a video camera these days, and someone is bound to catch you doing something obscene.So please take
a few minutes to watch this video before you knock a few back at your cousin
Barry’s bar mitzvah or Sister Sue’s wedding. You'll thank us Monday morning.
The ridiculous thing is; you know someone still took her
home at the end of the night.
This week’s video round-up is dedicated to the winners, those who excel at what they do. Even if we would never dare do what they do.
Ah, the art of cup stacking, If the world doesn’t end in 2012, I see a new Olympic sport on the horizon. All I can say is “Oh my gosh!”
I am less impressed by this faux surprise. And now officially deaf. Move over Halle Berry.
I am, however, always impressed by people who are in touch with who they really are. And strangely enough, may see a double-wide in my future, and I'm not talking about my pants.
This bulldog must’ve been weaned on a skateboard. Or pot. Or both.
And I always like to include a little how-to, so here’s a video that will help you win that next wheel-barrow race your entered into.
Finally, a mascot that just may have more talent than the team her reps. Do you think if Mr. Met could do that, we could make the playoffs?
Is this radio ad clever because I remembered it long enough to blog it, or dumb because I decided to blog it? Let me know what you think in the comments.
A Des Moines, IA couple was charged with burglary for forcing open a door and entering a house they thought was their own.
The excuse? A tale as old as time itself: “We were drunk.”
Shantel Diane Morrison, 31, and 30-year old Joshua Aaron Pray (pictured) allegedly claimed they were so pickled that they picked the wrong house after coming home from a night of partying.
Javier Pagannazario and his wife discovered the couple in their home early Sunday morning; Pray was passed out on the couch and Morrison was upstairs half-undressed, according to police. Both of them ran from the residence soon after being discovered. Ah, good times. Good times.
Police say they traced the pair through the license plate of the van the couple used to drive away. Pagannazario, who claims $900 is missing from his wallet,
doesn't believe the incident can be explained away by a drunken
mistake. Clearly Mr. Pagannazario doesn't have a relationship with
alcohol.
Morrison and Pray have been charged with second-degree burglary, which carries a 10-year prison term.
But say for some reason, none of those reasons were compelling enough for you. What if you came up to me and said "Hey Ritch, that's all well and good, but what does your silly Dumb Blog have for a guy like me, who just wants to hang out in my indoor marijuana farm that is located a mere 25 feet from a police station?"
Good question, hypothetical guy who runs an indoor marijuana farm!
Because we JUST WROTE ABOUT ANOTHER GUY who got busted for the same thing last week. Had you checked out our blog, you might have known that what you were doing was dumb, and you should probably knock it off before it's too late. So for all the rest of you dummies out there who have indoor marijuana farms next door to police stations, do yourselves a favor and knock it off, because you will get caught.
A cold wind whipped through the barren aisles of the freezer sections of grocery stores across America, as the horrible news set in.
There's an Eggo Waffle shortage.
No, seriously, thanks to flooding in Atlanta, due to record high rainfall, there is actually an Eggo Waffle shortage, and it could last through 2010, and people who are apparently terrible at pouring cereal into bowls are getting pretty rattled.
From the article:
"We have eight (frozen waffles) and if we ration those — maybe have half an Eggo in one sitting — then it'll last longer," said Resciniti, who blogs about being a mother. "I told my husband that maybe I need to put them on eBay."
Just for fun, we checked eBay, and thankfully, you can get a box of Eggo waffles there. If you have a thousand dollars for an opening bid. (UPDATE: the seller has dropped the price to $65.00. Still, that's over 6 bucks per waffle.)
"Three weeks and three trips to Wal-mart and still no waffles! Finally I grabbed the last three boxes at Bi-Lo yesterday and said something to the stockboy who looked at me like i was crazy. I'm seriously considering hitting all the local stores and stocking up!"
Jean Kristufek:
"Can you believe I just read that there is a shortage of Eggo's!! Everybody run to the frozen food section and stock up!! L'eggo my Eggo!!"
I know we're in hard economic times here, people, but things are beginning to look bleak. Riots, fires, people refusing to "L'eggo," you name it.This country is about to turn into a Mad Max movie.
Check out this video:
Seconds after this film ended, that little girl was stabbed to death with a fork, and her Eggo taken from her.
I know what you're thinking*, "I already voted for FDR three times, enough already!"
While that might be true, casting your ballot for Franklin Delano Roosevelt in the Dumb As A Blog Dumb Caption Contest is much more fun. Sure, it might not be more important than electing a President challenged with leading the country out of the Great Depression while simultaneously thwarting Adolph Hitler's plans of world domination, but on the other hand, there is a Dumb As A Blog T-Shirt on the line here.
So go ahead and vote for your favorite caption for the following photo, and vote to see who wins the shirt! Voting closes a week from today, so vote now, and vote often!
*You are likely only thinking this if you are over 90 years old and a Democrat. Apologies to everyone else.
Move over Willie Loman. Dumb as a Blog may just have discovered a more pathetic salesman.
A Texas teenager is under arrest after allegedly trying to peddle pot door-to-door. A smart idea you say? Well, perhaps. But, in this case, not so much.
Anthony Carrazco, pictured, of Brownsville is charged with trying to sell three ounces of marijuana. His sales strategy went astray when he knocked on one door too many--one that belonged to an off-duty police officer. The cop told the teenager he would be right back. And he was; with his badge and handcuffs.
Police say the 19-year old was also drunk and carrying a gun.
Oh, and the dumb luck doesn’t end for this lad. Carrazco was allegedly trying to hawk his wares near the University of Texas – a drug-free and weapon-free zone. That makes the charges even more serious.
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