The Great Eggo Waffle Shortage of 2009 November 19, 2009 9:24 AM | permalink

The country fell silent yesterday morning.

A cold wind whipped through the barren aisles of the freezer sections of grocery stores across America, as the horrible news set in.

There's an Eggo Waffle shortage.

No, seriously, thanks to flooding in Atlanta, due to record high rainfall, there is actually an Eggo Waffle shortage, and it could last through 2010, and people who are apparently  terrible at pouring cereal into bowls are getting pretty rattled.

From the article:

"We have eight (frozen waffles) and if we ration those — maybe have half an Eggo in one sitting — then it'll last longer," said Resciniti, who blogs about being a mother. "I told my husband that maybe I need to put them on eBay."

Just for fun, we checked eBay, and thankfully, you can get a box of Eggo waffles there. If you have a thousand dollars for an opening bid. (UPDATE: the seller has dropped the price to $65.00. Still, that's over 6 bucks per waffle.)

There is widespread panic on the Eggo Waffle Facebook Fan Page too- here's a taste of that:

Collette Frazee Duncan:

"Three weeks and three trips to Wal-mart and still no waffles! Finally I grabbed the last three boxes at Bi-Lo yesterday and said something to the stockboy who looked at me like i was crazy. I'm seriously considering hitting all the local stores and stocking up!"

Jean Kristufek:

"Can you believe I just read that there is a shortage of Eggo's!! Everybody run to the frozen food section and stock up!! L'eggo my Eggo!!"

People are losing their minds on Twitter, too.

I know we're in hard economic times here, people, but things are beginning to look bleak. Riots, fires, people refusing to "L'eggo," you name it.This country is about to turn into a Mad Max movie.

Check out this video:

Seconds after this film ended, that little girl was stabbed to death with a fork, and her Eggo taken from her. 

BY HER OWN BROTHER.

Something needs to be done.

Is it time for a bailout?

One Stop Soda Pop Shop November 16, 2009 10:05 AM | permalink

What do you call it, soda or pop?

Neat map, but so what?  If you want to indulge in some of that sweet carbonated goodness, head on over to Galcos Soda Pop Stop next time you're in Los Angeles. 

Owner John Nese is a rare and dying breed in America: the nice, small business owner down the street who cares about his customers, and is knowledgeable about the products he's selling.

He's therefore a bit of a soda snob, but in a good way.  With a selection of over 500 exotic sodas from all over the world, Nese lays down a few rules: no high-fructose corn syrup fake sugariness, cane sugar only.  And "diets" are mostly shunned.  So from banana-flavored Central American soda to "kosher" Coca-Cola, the Galcos soda selection is sure to make your palette tingle:

Frankly Appaling November 12, 2009 9:40 AM | permalink

New Yorkers are up in arms this week at the shocking news that Nathan's Famous has raised prices on hot dogs at its flagship Coney Island restaurant to an eye popping $3.15 for a single frank.

To put that in perspective, if Joey Chestnut, the reigning champion of Nathan's International July Fourth Hot Dog Eating Contest, actually had to pay full price for the 68 hot dogs and buns he ate in 10 minutes last summer to defend his title, it would have cost him a whopping $214.20. 

That's enough to make a guy sick to his stomach. 

Of course, maybe I'm biased when it comes to my weiners. This New Yorker still hasn't recovered from the horrific events of April 15th, 1999, or as I call it, Black Thursday.

Cops Cite Capricious Caprese-Induced Behaviour October 16, 2009 3:30 PM | permalink

Mark DeCraepeo, pictured, is the chef and owner of Pizza Time Restaurant, and allegedly, his rage at a certain simple cheese, basil and tomato concoction could not be contained.

For on Wednesday afternoon when a waitress hung an order for a Mozzarella Caprese salad, DeCraepeo, 51, told her her that if he got one more request for that particular dish,  "I swear to God I'll shoot you in the forehead," according to cops in Boca Raton.

Then he slammed a holstered black gun on the counter and added, "Now you see I'm [expletive] serious. I'll put a bullet right in your forehead," according to the police report.

He was arrested for aggravated assault with a deadly weapon with intent to commit a felony and taken to the Palm Beach County Jail. 

More pizza madness: The Florida pizza maker who allegedly pistol-whipped two customers who complained about their calzone order, the video of the pizza guy who stabbed a would-be robber, and the video out of Akron, OH of a savage beating a pizza patron receives when he complains into his cell phone that a woman was trying to cut into line.

Don't Get Between a Man and His Chalupa October 7, 2009 2:27 PM | permalink

At close to 4 AM Tuesday a man opened fire on some employees outside a Miami Taco Bell. Allegedly, the man arrived at the store looking to pick up some late night grub. When he was told the location was closed for the night, he continued to demand food. When a manager finally asked him to leave, he shot at said manager, hitting another employee in the leg.

Investigators are still searching for the suspect...

Maybe he ran for the border.

(Ba-dum-CHING!)

No Beer, No Peace? October 1, 2009 2:56 PM | permalink

Andrea Elizabeth Bathgate, pictured, become so enraged when her boyfriend wouldn't go out to buy her more beer on Tuesday night that she tried to strangle him, picked up a box cutter razor and then left, only to break the leg off a table and then throw it through a window of their home.  All this according to police in Fort Myers, FL.

Bathgate, 31, was arrested on a misdemeanor battery charge and a felony charge of throwing a missile into a dwelling.  

Note: The report states that Bathgate was drinking and craving more "Natural Ice" brand beer.  A BeerAdvocate.com uuser describes the brand's aroma thusly: Absolutely Awful...like they brewed it with a bed of dirty pennies. And another writes that the mouthfeel is crisp and skunky.

So although Bathgate doesn't seem like the best spokesperson for the brew, seems to me they might not find such a passionate, loyal customer so fast. 

Final thought: To all the single ladies who say they can't find a boyfriend.  I feel your pain. But come on, this gal should be an inspiration!

Yumnuts September 29, 2009 4:46 PM | permalink

No, REALLY...

They come in an assortment of flavors, so no matter if you like honey nuts, chocolate nuts or spicy cajun nuts, you're covered.

And in case you were wondering, Yumnuts are cashews.

The Unbearable Lightness of Burger Signs September 28, 2009 9:00 AM | permalink

From Consumerist, I was alerted to this mini-trend: Defacing fast food signs that tout "angus burgers"

Dumb.  Immature. Awesome.

Image: Anus burger from adjusafresh's photostream on Flickr.

Werewolf Cupcakes September 23, 2009 3:34 PM | permalink

I dunno, would you like to obtain a PhD in Quantum Physics or take the time to learn how to make and produce these werewolf cupcakes?  Because I saw the recipe, and believe me, they are not easy.  

Of course, I'd rather make the werewolf cupcakes.  I'm not saying that's a smart choice.  I bet by the time I made two marshmallow ears and four icing teeth, I'd stick a fork in my eye just to be able to feel again.

We are told that these weresnacks will be available at "Werewolf Night" which is this Friday in New York City.  All details here.

Full disclosure: Our own dumb blogger Ritch will also be appearing to flog the new hilarious werewolf book he co-wrote.

The Love Potato September 22, 2009 10:47 AM | permalink

Once again, we are ahead of the dumb curve as evidenced by all the hoopla being given to a heart-shaped potato Obama received yesterday while appearing on The Late Show with David Letterman.

Obama quipped, "The main reason I'm here?  I want to see that heart-shaped potato."

Of course if this spud sounds familiar, it's because I blogged about a heart-shaped potato in September 2008 right on this here blog.  This romantic carb was given to me and stayed in my Subaru for months afterwards.  I couldn't bring myself to eat it or toss it, until spring came and having a potato in my car seemed weird.*

That there is the original love potato: Accept no substitutes!

*I know, the fact that it didn't seem odd to be driving around with this for about six months is weird.  What can I say?  In New York we can use our vehicles as mobile root cellars.