Philly Mayor Jinxes World Series? November 5, 2009 12:38 PM | permalink

With the inevitability of a giant plodding beast, the New York Yankees won their first World Series Championship of the 21st Century last night, on the back of Most Valuable Player Hideki Matsui's Godzilla-sized bat.

Baseball blogs have been saying that Mariano Rivera should have taken home the MVP award, but in our opinion, that honor should go to Philadelphia Mayor Michael Nutter, who said YESTERDAY, that The City of Brotherly Love would not be paying for any victory parades.

And sure enough- he was right.

I don't think he should worry though, Philadelphia sports fans seem like a pretty reasonable bunch.

I'm sure they won't hold a grudge.

Jets Quarterback Has A Weiner October 26, 2009 11:58 AM | permalink

The New York Jets beat the Oakland Raiders yesterday,  Sure, running Shonn Greene rushed for 144 yards and team's defense held the Raiders to 97 yards passing, but the big Jets news of the day was that TV cameras caught rookie quarterback Mark Sanchez woofing down a hot dog on the bench midway through the fourth quarter.

"I want to apologize for that," a chagrined Sanchez said later of being caught red hot handed. "I tried to be discreet...It won't happen again."

Old Woman Throws a Ball October 12, 2009 3:06 PM | permalink

At some point you've probably found yourself wondering, "How far could a 100-year-old woman throw a shot put? Five feet? Six feet?"

How about thirteen feet...and four inches.

That's what great grandmother Ruth Frith did at the World Masters Games in Australia.

Her training secrets? She doesn't drink or smoke and she doesn't eat vegetables.

Frith won a gold medal at the quadrennial games, which isn't that impressive, since she was the only one in her 100+ age category.

The 2009 New York Mets: A Look Back October 8, 2009 12:31 PM | permalink

Dumb As A Blog, as longtime readers know, is a celebration of all things stupid.

Since there are very few things stupider than the empty, pointless prognostications that blogs and sportswriters across the nation make at the beginning of baseball season, back in April we made a few of our own.

We may have been wrong about a few things. Joba Chamberlain from the New York Yankees did not win a free colonoscopy and the Chicago Cubs actually showed up for a game or two.

However, check out our prediction for what would happen to the New York Mets:

Dumb as a Blog prediction: The entire borough of Queens will sink into the ocean, after falling victim to the wrath of Poseidon, God of the Sea.

This year, the Mets will not settle for a metaphorical or statistical collapse, but will experience a genuine, fire-and-brimstone, act-of-god disaster. It will doom not only the Mets and their ironically named new park, but the entire borough the ballpark resides in. Poseidon will emerge from the hoary depths of the East River in the form of a mighty Kraken, and after thrusting his mighty trident into the 59th street Bridge, (decimating it instantly) he will  unleash a plague of earthquakes upon the entire borough. Then the God of the Sea will call down a rain of fire to decimate Queens from above as the quakes destroy it from below. As the devastation is complete, the bedrock under the land that once housed Shea Stadium will crumble and sink back into the seas from whence it came, leaving nothing but calm, swirling waters along what will soon come be known as Brooklyn's North Shore.

And remember, you heard it here first. 

When you look at what actually happened to the Mets this season, I have to say, we weren't that far off the mark. 

Here are some actual recaps of the 2009 Mets:

Deadspin:

From the ownership down to the bat boys, the (2009 New York Mets have) been beset by financial issues, management missteps, injuries, errors, poor timing, and just plain bad luck. Every week seemed to bring a new crisis or terrible disaster and through it all, they constantly found inventive and entertaining ways to squander victory. 

Always Amazin': 

Of all the lousy baseball I've ever seen, this past September and now October just feels longer... It's been a long month plus of collecting paychecks, questionable moves, and just praying the management and players can escape Flushing... I found myself just praying for this season to go away so I could finally, at long last, move into offseason mode and start trying to fix what ails my favorite team from the comfort of my couch.

Brooklyn Met Fan

Remember in the first Star Wars film when Luke and his rag tag squadron of X-Wing fighters are attacking the Death Star? I think it’s the chubby X-Wing pilot who, as he is closing in on the bullseye that will destroy the entire Death Star is saying, “Almost there… Almost there…” And then BLAM the tie-fighters blow him away...The end of this awful season is within sight we just have to hang on a little bit longer…

So, maybe our prediction wasn't so dumb after all?

OK, the 59th street bridge?  Still standing.

At least I think it is.

I better go check.

Related: For a slightly more upbeat look at the Mets, check out our exclusive interview with former Mr. Met, AJ Mass!

Exclusive Interview: AJ Mass, Former Mr. Met September 28, 2009 10:00 AM | permalink

From 1994-1997, AJ Mass (pictured) worked as Mr. Met, the mascot for the New York Mets baseball team . 

There's a video reel of AJ doing his thing on his blog and he is currently shopping a book about his experiences working it as the big-baseball headed one. 

Read on to find out how he got the job, what challenges donning the head brought and what shocking tell-all mascot revelations might be revealed in a Mr. Met book.

First off: Are you a Mets fan? Was that a prerequisite for the job?

I am. Growing up within walking distance of Shea Stadium, it was going to be difficult to not root for the hometown team. However the first prerequisite for the job was whether I fit the suit.

How did you get the job and who was Mr. Met before you?

I was the first Mr. Met of the modern era. There was an incarnation of Mr. Met in the 60s, but he was phased out long before the the Phillie Phanatic or the San Diego Chicken redefined what mascots were going to be.

I actually auditioned to be an actor in the Nickelodeon Stage Shows that were going to be part of a mini-theme park outside of Shea. I got the gig, and then they mentioned they were going to bring back Mr. Met and anyone interested could volunteer to learn more. Only three of us stuck around, and much like Johnny Bravo on The Brady Bunch, I fit the suit.

How is the pay? The hours? What kinds of events did you do outside of games?

The pay was hourly at first, just as an extra part of the Nick job. After the baseball strike in 1994, though, the theme park closed down. I was asked to stay.

By the time I left it was a full-time job but with no health benefits. The hours? If there was an appearance at a charity event or Little League field or some such event, I could be in the costume at 9AM, back at the stadium for the day game scheduled at 1PM (with pre-game duties/birthday parties starting at 11AM) and after three hours of baseball, finally done for the day at 5PM assuming the game didn't go extra innings, of course. Considering that home stands could last 7-12 days, I might be working for weeks at a time without a day off.

Was the job more or less fun than you expected?

I loved the interaction with kids. That alone was worth every bit of grief from management, who never quite understood what it took to do the job of mascot properly.

For example, they didn't know why I couldn't bend the laws of physics to be in three different locations in the stadium at the same time, or why I needed to take a 20 minute break after an hour in the costume on an August afternoon. Part of the reason I did stay in the suit longer than I probably should have is that I didn't want any of those kids being disappointed.

How hard was the costume to wear? Is the head heavy? How do you stay cool in it on hot summer days?

The costume itself went through changes over the years to make it easier to move around in. The sheer size of the head made it difficult to maneuver. Forget about peripheral vision.

There's no way of sugar-coating how hot it got being encased in a 20-pound polyurethane sphere in the middle of a heat wave. You'd take a towel and soak it in ice water and wrap it around your neck and shoulders and it would be bone dry by the time you hit the field. You simply endured.

Which ballplayers gave you an especially hard time?

There still weren't a huge number of baseball mascots around when I started, maybe a third of the teams had one, but the players who had played for teams with mascots tended to get it and were supportive.

Surprisingly, it was some of the Mets themselves, who were not used to having a stranger around the tunnels leading to the clubhouse, who were unreceptive at best and antagonistic at worst. I'll save the naming of names for the book I'm currently shopping around.

Does your book proposal contain shocking revelations like mascot groupies or mascots injecting one another with performance-enhancing drugs?

Mr. Met is actually part-zombie and part-vampire. That's not true, but I hear that's the only way to get a book sold these days

Seriously, part of the reason I wanted to write a book about my time as a professional mascot is that most people have no idea what a mascot actually goes through on a regular basis. In my four years on the job, I was abused by players, reprimanded by umpires, nearly trampled to death by exuberant parade-goers,  and even had my life threatened by Secret Service agents. Not to mention that I once a encountered a very gruesome naked celebrity.

Your head is a huge baseball. Did it ever occur to you that the best place to hang around was not a baseball park, where everyone had baseball bats? Or were you safe because the Mets aren't very good at hitting baseballs?

Touche! Actually, imagine how bad of an idea Bat Day was for a team with a baseball-headed mascot. And yet, management didn't seem to understand why I had a problem with visiting the upper deck when they'd armed hordes of under-supervised summer campers with large wooden sticks. Talk about nightmares!

Was there ever a Mr. Yankee? Why not? What have you done with him?

The Yankees never needed a cartoonish mascot since they had Phil Rizzuto, their beloved announcer. And I mean that with complete respect. The Scooter was a living embodiment of fandom and excitement that made a mascot unnecessary for the Yankees, just as Harry Caray served that role for the Cubs.

What do you think of the Mets new ballpark?

I haven't been to CitiField yet. I do watch most games on TV, thanks to the dish, and it looks great. As much as I loved Shea from the standpoint of a lot of great moments in my life happened there, it was a dump.

Why did you stop being Mr. Met?

The short answer is that I was fired by e-mail during the 1997 off-season. Looking back, I probably could have fought and gotten the job back, but in my heart I knew it was time to move on.

In general, whats the turnover rate in mascot land? Like how long does your typical Philly Phanatic reign?

The current Phanatic, Tom Burgoyne, is only the second in the history of the character which dates back to 1978. Dave Raymond was the first and worked until 1993.

So Tom started the same year I did, and is still going strong but that's the exception, not the rule. Unfortunately, other organizations aren't as kind to the guys (or girls) inside the costumes as Philly is, and as such, when it's time to cut costs, they'll usually take the guy making $40K a year and replace him with a $10 an hour college kid, thinking it won't matter. But it does.You really do get what you pay for, but it's hard to convince some people otherwise when it comes to mascots. It's amazing to me that teams seem to care so little about the way they support their most visible marketing tool.

You can read AJ's blog at http://www.ajmass.blogspot.com/ or follow him on Twitter at http://twitter.com/AJMass. Plus he's got a day job as a fantasy sports analyst for ESPN.com.

Images: Left; AJ with Rachel Robinson, Jackie Robinson's widow, 1997. Right; AJ with his son at a minor league game. Bottom left; Mr. Met as Elvis from AJ's reel

End Zone Shenanigans North of the Border September 21, 2009 12:59 PM | permalink

The National Football League may have a worldwide following, Peyton Manning and a new billion dollar stadium.

But the Canadian Football League has a fan who climbs goalposts.

Tennis Princess Gets No Love From Hotel September 9, 2009 3:05 PM | permalink

If you're not on board yet with the meteoric rise of 17-year-old American tennis phenom Melanie Oudin, who gained fame at the US Open over the last week based on an explosive ability to take out Russians with a skill and panache not seen around these parts since Rambo 3, you're either clueless, or the manager of the Marriot in Manhattan.

The Times Square hotel unceremoniously bounced the budding star from her accommodations today after the room reservation of the sports Cinderella ran out. Her reservation wasn't longer because no one had expected that the unranked teen would continue to need local accommodations through the quarterfinal.

There was no word on whether Oudin's reservation ended at midnight, if she left a tennis shoe behind, or whether the private car sent by the US Open to ferry her out to the Tennis complex in Queens turned into a pumpkin, but Oudin's agent said "Obviously, we will not be sending any of our players back to that hotel."  

Fear not, though -- Oudin has found other accommodations.

Maybe she's in Maria Sharapova's old room?

Dumb Obsession Confession: Golf Disasters September 4, 2009 9:29 AM | permalink

OK I admit it. I love golf-related crime stories -- maybe you've noticed after hitting some of my links.

The only thing I enjoy more is a good video of senior citizens crashing their cars into crowded stores.

That's why our brand new clip from Most Daring featuring two separate golf cart calamities (pictured) makes me so happy.

And even better, in the above clip, both accidents are due to the stupidity of the drivers. 

Enjoy!

Scrum-Dums August 31, 2009 12:08 PM | permalink

I always used to laugh it off when I'd read warnings on cough syrup labels or booze that read people under the influence the substance shouldn't "operate heavy machinery," as though they thought that I was going to put down my bottle of Rolling Rock, and hop behind the controls of a backhoe.

Well, 26-year-old rugby player Emma Winch isn't laughing, after being airlifted to the hospital when fellow drunken rugby players  at a tournament near Wales rolled a two-ton grass roller into her tent while she slept, fracturing her skull. Winch sustained nasty facial injuries, with one witness claiming that "it was a crazy, stupid thing to do", and that "the young woman could have been killed."

Twenty-one male players from a an under 19 youth rugby team were arrested for the incident.

Sports Twits August 5, 2009 12:41 PM | permalink

San Diego Chargers cornerback, Antonio Cromartie has been fined $2,500 for going on Twitter and kvetching to his followers about the team's grub, postulating that maybe the "nasty food" accounted for the team not making it to the Super Bowl. 

Linebacker Shawne Merriman ribbed his teammate's plight on his own Twitter account by writing, "And by the way i thought the food was AMAZING today haha yea im a suck up."

Then there's the recent case of Australian cricket player Phillip Hughes, who accidentally gave away information about his team's line-up via a tweet well before the team's official announcement.  I know, none of you care about cricket or know what it is, so let's move on...

And this week Shaquille O'Neal scored ink by publically taunting soccer player David Beckham via Twitter to try and get him on his reality show.  One of Shaq's messages read, "Dear david beckham, dnt make me tweet to 2 million people that yur scared of shaq, u betta respnd, if u scared get a dog,''

And now, perhaps reacting to these types of Twitter tales, ESPN is clamping down on new media.  The network issued new guidelines that now prohibit their on-air talent, writers and reporters from having sports-related Twitter accounts or blogs and they will need a supervisor's approval to discuss anything on social media sites.  Oh and they can't discuss how stories are reported, formed, edited, etc.  A news organization trying to stop the flow of information that people crave and making their talent less visible just seems kooky.

Is it me or does it seem like ESPN is running scared from the future screaming, "Jane, stop this crazy thing!"

Let me know in the comments.  Oh and follow truTV on Twitter here.  If you're lucky, maybe we'll post something really dumb or complain about the office coffee just to see what happens.