Holiday Jeer November 23, 2009 3:51 PM | permalink

Bah Humbug!

A Fort Pierce, FL man is being called Scrooge after he destroyed nearly $4,000 worth of Christmas decorations this weekend, according to police.

Officers busted Bryan K. Cooler, pictured, while he was allegedly on a holiday decoration destruction rampage at the Sabal Palm Plaza shopping center in St. Lucie Saturday night.  When cops showed up, Cooker quickly surrendered--but he refused to explain whether this was a random act of mischief or he had a specific anger issue with Christmas.

He’s charged with felony criminal mischief with property damage of $1,000 or more.

I say the real crime here is that Christmas decorations are already up, and it’s not even Thanksgiving.

We Want You--To Vote For Dumb Criminal Of Week! November 20, 2009 5:22 PM | permalink

A whopping 3,000 truTV Dumb Blog fans exercised their rights to vote for the Dumbest Criminal last week. So who won? The vain Matthew Maynard of Wales.  He didn’t like his mugshot so he mailed a new one into police, and then got clipped while getting clipped.  But he looked good while doing it.

Now, we have a whole new week’s worth of dumb crooks to choose from, pictured at the left. So take your pick, and remember they are all losers. Polls will be open for one week only! :

MONDAY: Check Is Someplace Stranger Than Mail

TUESDAY: Cops Say Pot Dealer Booked

WEDNESDAY: Knock, Knock, Who's There?

THURSDAY: A Bad House Call

FRIDAY: Bust Me Once, Shame On Me. Bust Me Twice Shame You?

 

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Bust Me Once, Shame On Me. Bust Me Twice, Shame on You? November 20, 2009 4:44 PM | permalink

Once apparently just wasn’t enough for a New Holland, PA woman.

Police say 10 minutes after Cynthia Irene Locke, 25, was released after being charged with shoplifting, she walked back into the same store and tried to steal again.

Locke and her boyfriend Jeremiah Shane Barr, 32, were charged with retail theft at 11:20 am on Wednesday at the Walmart store in Ephrata.  They were immediately released.

The duo had allegedly torn tags off of more than $100 worth of goods and tried to get them out of the store in a stolen purse.

About two hours later, the same police officer was walking back into the store  when employees notified him the lady was at it again.

This time, Locke allegedly tried to pinch $5 worth of make-up.  She was charged with another count of retail theft.

Now, you tell me who’s the real dummy?  Wait for it… because the officer released her a second time.

A Bad House Call November 19, 2009 5:26 PM | permalink

A Des Moines, IA couple was charged with burglary for forcing open a door and entering a house they thought was their own.

The excuse? A tale as old as time itself: “We were drunk.”

 Shantel Diane Morrison, 31, and 30-year old Joshua Aaron Pray (pictured) allegedly claimed they were so pickled that they picked the wrong house after coming home from a night of partying.

Javier Pagannazario and his wife discovered the couple in their home early Sunday morning; Pray was passed out on the couch and Morrison was upstairs half-undressed, according to police.  Both of them ran from the residence soon after being discovered. Ah, good times.  Good times. 

Police say they traced the pair through the license plate of the van the couple used to drive away.
Pagannazario, who claims $900 is missing from his wallet, doesn't believe the incident can be explained away by a drunken mistake.  Clearly Mr. Pagannazario doesn't have a relationship with alcohol.

Morrison and Pray have been charged with second-degree burglary, which carries a 10-year prison term.

Knock, Knock, Who's There? November 18, 2009 3:25 PM | permalink

Move over Willie Loman. Dumb as a Blog may just have discovered a more pathetic salesman.

A Texas teenager is under arrest after allegedly trying to peddle pot door-to-door. A smart idea you say? Well, perhaps. But, in this case, not so much.  

Anthony Carrazco, pictured, of Brownsville is charged with trying to sell three ounces of marijuana. His sales strategy went astray when he knocked on one door too many--one that belonged to an off-duty police officer.  The cop told the teenager he would be right back. And he was; with his badge and handcuffs.

Police say the 19-year old was also drunk and carrying a gun.

Oh, and the dumb luck doesn’t end for this lad.   Carrazco was allegedly trying to hawk his wares near the University of Texas – a drug-free and weapon-free zone. That makes the charges even more serious. 

He’s being held on $10,000 bond.

Cops Say Pot Dealer Booked November 17, 2009 4:05 PM | permalink

“Can I really get in trouble for smoking pot?”

That’s a question posted in Chapter Five of The Official High Times Pot Smoker’s Handbook. And now, a Dunnellon, FL man can answer that question with an emphatic, “totally, dude.”

Zachary Frye, pictured, was arrested Sunday night and charged with eight counts of possession of marijuana with intent to sell, ten counts of drug paraphernalia possession, and marijuana possession of more than fifty grams.

According to the Marion County Sheriff, here’s how it went down:

Someone called 911 on Sunday evening after allegedly seeing Frye trying to flag down a ride from the side of the road with a flashlight.

When police arrived, Frye told them his motorcycle had broken down.  A deputy offered him a lift, but told Frye he’d have to submit to a pat down, for safety reasons.  Frye consented. 

Bad idea.

The deputy says he found "a large bulge in Frye's jean pocket" which turned out to be a  plastic bag of marijuana.

An inspection of the suspects' backpack allegedly turned up eight other bags of marijuana, a digital scale, a pot pipe, a glass crack pipe and a grinder.   He also had with him a copy of the aforementioned hashish handbook.

Whoa, now that’s harsh.

The Official High Times Pot Smoker’s Handbook includes 420 things to do when you’re stoned.  Perhaps, in the next edition, it should include 420 things you should NOT do when you’re stoned. 

Luckily for Frye, the book also gives advice on who to call if you get busted.

The Check Is Someplace Stranger Than The Mail November 16, 2009 3:43 PM | permalink

A Manchester, NH resident called 911 on Thursday night to report that a stranger had broken into her home. The caller's boyfriend had tried to subdue the perp, who slithered away and hopped out a window.

The cat burglar's freedom was short-lived, however, because the evidence he left behind didn’t exactly require the knowledge of an expert forensics team. Michael Noyer, pictured, had accidentally dropped his personal planner, emblazoned with the slogan “Together We Can Achieve the Extraordinary,” on the porch as he fled, according to police. Inside the planner was an unemployment check bearing not only his name, but also his home address.

Noyer lived just down the block, and that’s where officers found him on his bicycle. The 45-year-old tried to escape once again, but he was nabbed trying to hide a vial of oxycodone. Cops charged him with burglary, possession of a narcotic, being a felon in possession of a dangerous weapon, falsifying physical evidence and resisting arrest.

Now, it gets dumber, wait for it. As if there was any doubt Noyer was their man, officers say they also found him carrying damning evidence:  a ceramic bear belonging to the family whose house he broke into.

Ya know Mikey, you’re right.  Together we can achieve the extraordinary.

Dumb Criminal of the Week - Vote Now! November 13, 2009 5:45 PM | permalink

More than 2,000 of you truTV Dumb Blog fans have cast their vote for the Dumbest Criminal of the Week. The "winner?" Calvin Hoover, who was arrested for DUI after drunkenly calling 911 not once, but twice from his car to report his pot was stolen, accordingto cops. Good times.

While Calvin's not-so-cool moves are pretty hard to top, there are plenty of dumb peeps out there working on it. So, here are this week’s nominees, some of whom are pictured at the left. So go ahead, weigh-in.   Polls will be open for one week only! :

MONDAY: Men Have A Cow

TUESDAY: Dial D'Oh For Dumb

WEDNESDAY: 911 Not Cab Company

THURSDAY: Collared By Shear Image

FRIDAY: Thief Now Has No Class

 

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'Thief' Now Has No Class November 13, 2009 4:40 PM | permalink

A middle school teacher in Wilton, CT. complained to cops that money had gone missing from her purse several times recently.  So cops set up an undercover sting and last week they got their man. Or in this case, their teacher, and a pretty dumb one at that.

Police say Susan Dinnean, pictured, was caught on an undercover camera copping 20 bucks from her co-worker's purse.  When the principal confronted her, Dinnean allegedly confessed.

 Dinnean, of course, claims she planned to return the money but also admitted to stealing from other teachers, not to mention the principal herself.  So what’s a petit larceny suspect to do? Dinnean quit her $100,000 a year job on Monday.  That’ll show ‘em.

Dumb Criminal Collared By Shear Image November 12, 2009 1:49 PM | permalink

Matthew Maynard, of Swansea, Wales allegedly taunted police with his own mugshot, then got clipped while getting clipped.

Police last week released a photo of Maynard, left, in connection with a burglary investigation, and asked the public to help locate him.

Maynard responded by calling a local newspaper to complain that the photo was “unflattering.”  And, in a move that one could only classify as “smartass”, Maynard took a picture of himself (below) in front of a police van and sent it to the daily.  He made the front page.

Now, onto the move one could only classify as "dumbass."  Yesterday, Maynard popped into his usual barbershop, just a short distance from the police station, to have a quick trim.  A passerby recognized him instantly and called cops, who arrested the fugitive mid-cut.

Well, at least he’ll look good for his court appearance.  And really, isn't that all that's important?