Dumb Criminal of the Week - Vote Now! November 6, 2009 5:21 PM | permalink

I'm thrilled to announce that we have two "winners" this week.

You Dumb Criminal lovers have voted and hands-down found Permanent Marker Masked Bandits Matthew Allan McNelly and Joey Lee Miller the Dumbest Criminals of the Week. Their Moms must be sooo proud.

Now here's this week's nominees -- once again all are pictured at left to help refresh your memories. Polls will be open for one week only!

MONDAY: She Made Him An Offer He Easily Refused

TUESDAY: The Lord Sees All

WEDNESDAY: Here Kitty, Kitty, Smile For The Camera

THURSDAY: Cops Don't Buy Man's Bottom Line

FRIDAY: Bad Call On Pot Robbery

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Bad Call on Pot Robbery November 6, 2009 3:21 PM | permalink

Dumb Move #1:  Calvin Hoover, pictured, made an angry 911 call early Tuesday morning from a Salem, OR bar parking lot to report someone broke into his truck, stole his jacket, $400 in cash and about an ounce of marijuana, according to police.

Dumb Move #2:  Hoover made a second 911 call about an hour later, police say. He was  really angry that the cops hadn't yet shown up to help him. The dispatcher had a little trouble understanding the "victim" this time, however, because Hoover had to stop several times during the call to vomit.

Dumb Move #3: When the cops did in fact catch up to Hoover, the 21-year-old allegedly told them he was looking  for the guys that stole his weed.

He was arrested for DUI.

The Salem police also took the time to school Hoover on dumb moves. Officers advised him that tipping them off about the marijuana was probably a stupid idea.   If they had caught him with it, he would also have been charged with possession.

Cops Don't Buy Man's Bottom Line November 5, 2009 12:53 PM | permalink

Just when officers thought they heard it all, a Florida man allegedly used a bowel movement malfunction as the excuse for exposing himself in a busy parking lot.

On Monday, two women called police after seeing a naked man shaking his hips inside a white Chevy van outside of a North Naples Walmart. The Collier County Sheriff's Office say that they responded and found David Todd Napodano, pictured, "in plain view" at the same location nearly an hour later. 

When confronted, Napodano told police he had “explosive diarrhea” and was using his underwear to clean-up.  But, according to reports, upon examining Napodano’s tighty-whities, no evidence of that nature was found.

Wow, what a relief for the poor deputy on the losing end of that coin toss.

Napodano was arrested and charged with indecent exposure.

Here Kitty, Kitty, Smile For The Camera November 4, 2009 5:25 PM | permalink

If we learned anything by yesterday’s blog, it’s that criminals and cameras are a bad mix, especially for the alleged perp. And today’s Dumb Criminal reiterates that point.

A Syracuse woman, Joanne Cichy, was devastated to discover her four-month-old kitten missing as she returned from trick-or-treating with her children on Halloween.

But you can bet she was even more disturbed the next day. That’s when Cichy discovered a video on her digital camera showing the cat hanging from the apartment door with a belt around its neck. And who was stepping in and out of the picture? Her live-in boyfriend, Rascell Williams, (pictured), according to police.

Cops say the video shows the animal struggling before going motionless.

The feline was found alive under the porch. Williams was charged with unjustifiable animal cruelty.

The Lord Sees All. So Does a Bible Store Clerk with a Hidden Video Camera. November 3, 2009 12:23 PM | permalink

Is nothing sacred?

Police in California arrested a clerk who worked at the Simi Valley Family Christian Book Store Sunday for allegedly peeping at patrons with a video camera.

Joseph David Ramon Moreaux, pictured left in his MySpace profile, was busted when a customer called police after finding the camera rolling in the store’s bathroom.

But how did cops know Moreaux, 28, was the culprit who planted the camera? Let’s go to the videotape.

Police say the clerk inadvertently recorded himself hiding the device in the bathroom between boxes.

Moreaux was issued a citation and released.  He has been suspended from his job.  Alleluia!

She Made Him An Offer He Easily Refused November 2, 2009 5:22 PM | permalink

When trying to get out of a traffic violations, I totally understand the idea of  batting  few eyelashes and flaunting the perks of your femininity. But when you’re suspected of drinking and driving, I’m pretty certain it’s never a good idea to ask a cop to go dancing. 

Early Saturday morning, Verleen Anglin (pictured) was stopped by cops in Panama City, FL after she backed into oncoming traffic.

She allegedly had a pint bottle of vodka, a can of mixed nuts and a wine glass on her front seat.

The first strange thing Anglin did, according to a sheriff's deputy, was offer "to survey my home and any other property I might own."

It is unclear if Anglin has special surveyor skills or even owns any leveling instruments.

Bizarre Act #2 involved offering the deputy an Outback Steakhouse menu, because "she said she knew what I needed," he said.

If  the offer of  free surveying and menus wasn't enough, Anglin's next overture was a venerable treasure: she jumped out of the car, said she wanted to "dance with the stars," and begin twirling and rubbing her buttocks against the officer's leg.

Anglin was soon handcuffed and brought to the Bay County intoxilizer room. She was charged with DUI.

Dumb Criminal of the Week - Get Your Stupid Vote On! October 30, 2009 4:41 PM | permalink

You the people have spoken and voted Taharka Johnson, the Burger King employee who allegedly asked a cop at his drive through window if he'd like to trade booze for pot, the Dumbest Criminal of the Week. 

Now, here are this week's nominees, with helpful pictures at left to refresh your memories. Polls will be open for one week only! :

MONDAY: Holding Cell?

TUESDAY:  Still Here In 600 Seconds

WEDNESDAY: Marker Masks

THURSDAY: Drug Factory FAIL

FRIDAY: Lawn Arm of the Law

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Teens Think 'Drunk' Man Crashing Lawn Mower into School Bus No Laughing Matter. Yeah, Right. October 30, 2009 11:10 AM | permalink

It's one thing to be caught doing something really stupid. It's another thing to then be laughed at by a bus full of middle-schoolers.

On Wednesday afternoon Ronald Martin (pictured) allegedly got drunk and drove his $10,000 riding lawnmower into the back of a stopped school bus in Florida. The crash caused Martin and his mower mate, Charlene Mallorey, to fall off the gardening vehicle.

It should come as no surprise that some of the teens on the bus found this pretty funny. But their adolescent giggles enraged Martin, who became so agitated that he tried to board the bus, according to cops. Luckily, the bus driver was able to prevent Martin from "teaching these young whipper-snappers a lesson," getting on board and police soon arrived on the scene, charging the 29-tear-old Martin with DUI, threatening a public servant and criminal mischief.

Don't Poop Where You Eat--Or Something Like That October 29, 2009 5:35 PM | permalink

There's an old saying where I come from:

Don't build a massive illegal drug factory right behind the local police department.

Seems like you wouldn't have to tell someone this, but I guess you do.

Michael MacConnell, pictured, allegedly had 300 marijuana plants growing in his Mint Hill, NC home. His house was about 1/10th of a mile from the local police station. All cops had to do to get to the place was walk out the rear of their station and stroll past the Mint Hill Barber Shop and Realty World. They would know they'd gone too far if they wound up at the Lawyer's Glen Retirement Center.

Police sauntered over to the Lawyers  Road residence yesterday after someone stopped by the station to complain that he had been assaulted there.

MacConnell, 40, faces several felony drug counts.

Permanent Marker, The New Ski Mask? October 28, 2009 5:40 PM | permalink

When police in Carroll, IA received a 911 last Friday reporting two men, disguised with black paint on their faces, were trying to break into an apartment, they had no idea that their day would end in a great big laugh.

Upon reporting to the crime scene, cops say they found Matthew Allan McNelly and Joey Lee Miller, pictured, fleeing in a getaway car. And yes, those brilliant disguises are nothing more than a hastily-applied permanent marker.

The dynamic duo was booked with second-degree attempted burglary. McNelly (left) was also charged with DWI.