'Drunk' Driver Doesn't Have a Case February 8, 2010 3:35 PM | permalink

Jesus Perez, pictured, crashed into six parked cars early Monday morning, removed the license plates and walked away from his vehicle, according to police in Springfield, MA.

And how did cops crack this case so quickly?  Perez, 26, allegedly removed a case of beer from his trunk that dropped and cracked as he made his getaway.  Sgt. John M. Delaney said they simply, "followed the trail of broken beer bottles" to find their suspect.

Speaking of "Springfield" doesn't he remind you of a certain somebody from The Simpsons?

In any event, he is charged with operating under the influence of alcohol, leaving the scene of a property damage accident and operating after suspension.

Vote For Feb's First Dumb Criminal of the Week! February 5, 2010 5:00 PM | permalink

You Dumb As A Blog Dumb Criminal readers have spoken and voted Jonas "Junior" Garcia Leon the Dumbest Criminal of the Week. Junior is the man who allegedly robbed the grocery store he used to work for and still had family on the payroll there. The cops arrested him in record time.

Well, it's time again to pick the week's Dumbest Criminal. Two of the folks you have to choose from are, or should I say, were part of the long arm of the law. Now, their alleged dumb moves have stripped them of their unis. Are one of them this week's dumbest? Well, only you can decide. And you only have one week. So vote now!

MONDAY: Call 911 For A Ride to Miami: Get the Heat

TUESDAY: Honestly, Dumb

WEDNESDAY: Gown to Jail

THURSDAY: Dumb Cop Gets Cagey

FRIDAY: This Guy's A Real Trooper

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This Guy's A Real Trooper February 5, 2010 2:38 PM | permalink

A dumb move by a Florida Highway Patrol trooper has left him on the wrong side of the law.
 
 Prosecutors say Paul C. Lawrence, pictured, issued hundreds of bogus tickets to unsuspecting drivers in an effort to boost his numbers to the bosses. He allegedly used information from drivers he had stopped in the past to draft new fake tickets.

Authorities became suspicious when dozens of ticketed drivers started to lose their licenses and complain they didn’t know anything about the citations. Many were able to prove that they were somewhere else at the time.

Over 200 traffic citations Lawrence issued since November have been dismissed and the FHP has set-up a central hotline for people filing complaints regarding phony tickets.

Lawrence, 38, is charged with 22 counts of official misconduct.  He has been put on administrative duty pending termination.

The FHP says their officers do not work on a quota system.

Ok, Dumb Blogger dumb question #1: Did Lawrence really think he wasn’t going to get caught?

Dumb Blogger dumb question #2: If the FHP doesn’t work on a quota system, why would Lawrence draft fake tickets?

Dumb Cop Gets Cagey February 4, 2010 4:40 PM | permalink

A Sullivan County, TN sheriff’s deputy is in the doghouse, both literally and figuratively, after getting arrested on a drunken driving charge.

A Florida Highway Patrol officer reportedly found Samuel Bledsoe, pictured, vomiting in his car with a blown out tire on Friday night. The trooper said Bledsoe could barely stand and he had to explain a field sobriety test to him 18 times.  He ultimately failed.

Meanwhile, according to the report, Bledsoe was trying to explain to the trooper he was a fellow officer, and demanded a ride home.

When the trooper arrested him instead, Bledsoe allegedly became so belligerent, the officer had no choice but to put him in the “K-9” cage of his cruiser to take him to the hospital.

Bledsoe allegedly told the trooper, “I hope you are proud of yourself for this and costing me my job."

Bledsoe, 47, was indeed fired Monday morning

Gown to Jail February 3, 2010 5:18 PM | permalink

Kenneth Hook, pictured, may have thought he was being very clever when Prescott, AZ police pulled him over Friday night and arrested him on charges of suspicion of DUI.

He allegedly told officers he was suffering from a medical condition related to a seizure disorder, so they took him to the hospital.

But when the arresting officer returned to the hospital to finish investigating, Hook, 41, was reportedly leaving the emergency room wearing only his hospital gown.

According to police, Hook then attempted to flee via a barbed wire fence, ripped the hospital nightie off his body and then took off naked through an open field.

The officer caught up with him a short time later.

But perhaps he does have some dumb luck. For some reason he’s only being charged with DUI.

Related: Ever hear the one about the naked jogging priest?

Honestly, Dumb February 2, 2010 1:58 PM | permalink

People get arrested for drinking and driving all the time, so I guess we can categorize them as collectively “dumb.”

But sometimes it’s what you say to the cops when you're pulled over while stinking drunk that earns you a spot in the Dumb Criminal directory. Today is one of those days.

Daniel Joseph Mahoney, pictured, was arrested on suspicion of DUI on Saturday--the first time he'd been picked up for such a charge--after ramming his car into a pole.

"I've been drinking and driving for 20 years and never got caught before tonight," he allegedly admitted to the Florida Highway Patrol.

Troopers say Mahoney, 40, was sitting on his rear bumper when they arrived on the scene.

"I'll be honest with you," he told them, according to the report. "I've had too much to drink tonight and I hit a pole."

Which begs me to question, "Is honesty always the best policy?"

Call 911 For Ride to Miami: Get The Heat February 1, 2010 2:05 PM | permalink

Today we're adding to our classic reasons not to call 911. You may remember dumb ditties such as the guy who allegedly reported his pot stolen, and the drunk dude who complained because his family hid the liquor.  Another shout out goes to the ladies whose stupid reasons for making emergency calls on their men included: not eating their supper or lying about wanting to get married.

Meet Jose Armando Rodrigues, pictured. He’s a 32-year old man who allegedly called 911 twice from his cell phone to claim someone was trying to kill him.  But in reality, police say, he was in a friend's car that had broken down on I-95 and got tired of waiting.

According to Boyton Beach, FL police department Rodrigues admitted. “OK, I will tell you the truth. Nothing happened. I just want a ride to Miami and figured you would give me one.”

Rodrigues is charged with abuse of the 911 system and giving false information about a crime to a law enforcement officer.

Congratulations Jose and welcome to our Dumb 911 calls Hall of Fame!

Hey You! Will You Get Your Dumb Vote On Already? January 29, 2010 5:21 PM | permalink

Over 4,000 of you Dumb As A Blog readers have weighed in, and voted Robert Smith The Dumbest Criminal of the Week! You guys remember Rob, he's the guy who allegedly paid a prostitute and then called the cops when she didn't live up to her end of the bargain.

Now, it’s time to pick this week’s Dumbest Criminal. They are all pictured to your left, and boy did I find some dumb ones out there this week. Polls will be open for one week, so go ahead make your dumb choice count:

MONDAY: Taking A Crack at Kidnapping

TUESDAY: This Robber's 'Junior' League

WEDNESDAY: Cops: Suspect Had Sinking Feeling

THURSDAY: Weeding Out the Truth

FRIDAY: Cops: Empty Tank + Empty Head = Busted

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Cops: Empty Tank + Empty Head = Busted January 29, 2010 3:46 PM | permalink

Try this on for dumb size: Stealing a vehicle from an army base and getting busted when it runs out of gas.

Yup, Volusia County Sherrif’s office says they found Pvt. Sean Aaron Johnson, pictured, sitting in an army-issued Humvee along I-95 just South of Daytona Beach, FL.

Johnson, 23, allegedly told the officer he was headed to Fort Lauderdale from Fort Stewart Base in Georgia, on official Army business. But the officer, who just so happened to be an Army veteran himself, did the math and the story didn’t add up.

According to police, Johnson was wearing civilian clothing, wasn’t carrying his military license and he didn’t have a government-issued gas card to refuel the Humvee.

Sure enough, the Humvee was stolen, Johnson was listed at AWOL and the motorist who initially called cops to help a poor stranded soldier, actually helped the police.

Johnson is charged with grand theft auto and faces military charges of being absent without leave.

Now, this dumb blogger has a big dumb observation: Johnson is from New Orleans, heading to Southern Florida, where the Saints will soon be playing in the Super Bowl.  And I told y'all how crazy New Orleanians get for a good party.  Just saying.

Weeding Out The Truth January 28, 2010 12:42 PM | permalink

A Florida man, pulled over for allegedly swerving out of his lane and speeding, was arrested after copping to the cops that he had $2,000 worth of “weed” in his trunk.

According to Crestview police, Jason Miles, pictured, appeared nervous and his car reeked of pot when he was stopped last week.
 
When an officer asked him if he had anything illegal in the car, Miles allegedly said, “I got $2,000 worth of weed in the truck!”

Police found more than that. They say they discovered 110 grams of marijuana, two digital scales and a package of peach-flavored cigars.

When the officer read Miles, 25, his rights, he allegedly told them he only sold the pot on weekends because he was a full-time student during the week.  Ah, now that explains it! He also allegedly admitted to keeping some for himself: “Man, you don’t know how much weed I smoke.”  Oh, Jason, I bet they have some idea.

He is charged with possession of marijuana with intent to distribute and possession of paraphernalia.

Catch an all-new The Smoking Gun Presents: World's Dumbest Criminals tonight on truTV at 9pm e/p.

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