No Longer Updated, But Not Forgotten November 17, 2009 10:31 AM | permalink

Around here, we all love dumb, time-wasting websites, and it makes us sad when their ingenious creators move away to other projects, like say, gainful employment or a healthy romantic relationship.

Here are a few of our favorite no-longer-regularly-updated sites.

*This totally awesome blog devoted to showing drawings of Wonder Woman as a sexy, overweight BBW, (or BBWW if you will) is, sadly, on hiatus until next January.

Lucky for you guys, Dumb As A Blog's Kyle Moriwaki has provided us with this original drawing to tide us over. You can also try to get your fix by spotting future Dumb Bloggers on other defunct Wonder Woman blogs, or by watching the spectacularly titled "Wonder Woman Has Sex with a Gorilla For 5 Minutes." 

*In 2006, a woman named Jen worked in an office and hated the new guy who sat next to her. So she secretively blogged about him, in the short-lived I Hate You, New Guy Who Sits Next To Me. Sadly, either the new guy left her office, stayed there long enough that he wasn't a new guy anymore, or maybe Jen just had a change of heart, and no longer hated him. Maybe they fell in love? As her blog is no longer updated, the world may never know.

*Presidents Wearing Roller Skates is exactly what it sounds like, but  hasn't been updated since June. Despite how fantastic the Reagan and FDR pics are, the creator left this blog before getting around to George Washington, Harry Truman or many other Chief Executives on wheels.

*We've touted this site before on this blog, but the wonderful "People in pizza slice costumes becoming pizzas" haven't added any more people in pizza slice costumes in months. This makes me sad. And hungry.

*There are probably still plenty of white guys out there wearing Kangol hats, but who will document them?  Not these guys, not anymore. 

*Comedian Dan Cronin doesn't update his blog much at all anymore, but he has a pretty good excuse- he's moved to Los Angeles to write for The Tonight Show. Here's a quick Judge Judy remix he put together that shines a pretty good light on his sense of humor. There are plenty more great, weird gags on his site as well.

*And finally, while it's not technically a blog, we miss the semi-regular tweets about an inability to be regular from "Constipated Guy" on Twitter. His last tweet: "I ate at Pizzeria Uno then failed to make a Dos" appeared in September. We can only hope his silence since then is due to a solution to his problem.  

Did we miss any other no-longer-updated favorites? Let us know in the comments!

Write And Wrong November 2, 2009 11:24 AM | permalink

 We found an interesting new blog today that combines some of the elements of our dumb criminal posts with the personal touch of Found magazine.

Welcome to Bank Notes, a collection of actual notes handed to bank tellers by both successful and unsuccessful robbers, along with security camera stills and mugshots if the perp was arrested. Most are chilling in their desperation. Sort of like Twitter, but with more of an actual goal in mind.

Perhaps my favorite part of the site are the categories, cleverly organized so you could see, for example, all of the robberies where the bandit says "thanks."  While there is only a small sample group of these polite thieves, it appears that minding one's manners doesn't necessarily aid the career of a would-be bank robber.

All three of the individuals who wrote "thanks" in their notes were eventually arrested.

Other highlights include the guy who specifically wrote "no tracking devices" and was caught by a tracking device, the bandit who successfully knocked off a bank with a cereal box, and the 91-year-old bank robber who was a man of few words. 

(HT to boingboing for the find)

Your One Stop Survival Guide To Dating Lady Bloggers October 28, 2009 9:25 AM | permalink

In case you are a single gentleman in search of an adorably geeky blogger chick, our pals over at the ladyblog Lemondrop have inadvertently provided a perfect map of all the loutish behavior you'd have to avoid to get on their sweet sides. 

Like most blogs, they divide their posts into categories, and one of them is known as (the very ladylike) "Douchemap." The way to navigate the Douchemap is as follows: Before a date with a snarky blogger chick, take a glance down at the posts in the category, and make sure to NOT commit any of the offenses mentioned. A cursory glance reveals a few key "don'ts"

-If your date is a virgin, don't drive her into a corn field and inform her you are about to "change her virgin status."

-Don't throw a six-year-old girl out of her house.

-Don't tell her about your cult that has group sex in trailer parks. 

-Don't be broke all the time.(You probably knew that one already.)

-Don't go camping with a woman you're dating and then cheat on her in an adjoining tent. 

If you do even one of those things, you'll be labeled "a douche," and strike out. BUT- if you do ALL of them, I'm gonna go out a limb here and say stick to your guns, cause she just might go for it.

After all, any sexy blogger chick will tell you that sleeping with a perpetually broke member of a trailer park sex cult who takes time off from evicting six-year-olds to deflower virgin after virgin in the same cornfield where he takes his girlfriend camping would make one a heck of a blog post.

And really, that's what they're interested in.

Crown Royally Dumb October 8, 2009 9:44 AM | permalink

Tonight at 9PM e/p you can catch a brand NEW episode of The Smoking Gun Presents: World's Dumbest.

And stay tuned to this dumb blog, because as soon as we have a sneak peek clip from tonight's show, we'll be posting it here!

For now, enjoy this excellent clip of NY Yankee Joba Chamberlain's DUI pullover.

No, that's not Joba in the picture.  That's comedian Mike Trainor, making fun of Joba.  You can follow Mike on Twitter here.  And follow truTV on Twitter right over here -- where we tweet all our sneaks!

Dumb Genius: Dykes Of Tomorrow October 2, 2009 2:47 PM | permalink

dykesoftomorrow.blogspot.com?  

From this new blog's description: A celebration of looks that foreshadowed the inevitable realization that you were a Lesbian. Maybe you knew it back then. Maybe you didn't. But the pictures say it all. You were a D.O.T. - a Dyke of Tomorrow! 

The blog features reader-submitted snaps, hilarious copy and encourages any of you who experienced this phenom to share your photos for a laugh.

Image: D.O.T. blog master, Tami.

The Love Potato September 22, 2009 10:47 AM | permalink

Once again, we are ahead of the dumb curve as evidenced by all the hoopla being given to a heart-shaped potato Obama received yesterday while appearing on The Late Show with David Letterman.

Obama quipped, "The main reason I'm here?  I want to see that heart-shaped potato."

Of course if this spud sounds familiar, it's because I blogged about a heart-shaped potato in September 2008 right on this here blog.  This romantic carb was given to me and stayed in my Subaru for months afterwards.  I couldn't bring myself to eat it or toss it, until spring came and having a potato in my car seemed weird.*

That there is the original love potato: Accept no substitutes!

*I know, the fact that it didn't seem odd to be driving around with this for about six months is weird.  What can I say?  In New York we can use our vehicles as mobile root cellars.

Franken's Mad Map Skillz EXPOSED! September 15, 2009 12:52 PM | permalink

Everybody was amazed to see Al Franken drawing a map of the U.S.A from memory, but TV Squad found out this was of Al's talents since dinos ruled the land, as evidenced by the Letterman clip (pictured) from way back when Dave had puffy hair.  Note: Start watching at 6:35 or you may fall asleep watching three guys with puffy hair yuk it up before the magic map action happens.

Thing is, it's cool he can do it, but it only made news because Al Franken the Senator did it.  Nobody expects politicians to know anything, except how to have a crazy mega sex scandal.  When you realize Al Franken the comedy writer knew how to do it, it's no big whoop. 

Everybody knows comedians are geeks with OCD, and pick up bar bet tricks faster than a dog picks up a discarded chicken bone.

Take it from me -- a funny gal who can rap The Canturbury Tales prologue in Middle English from memory.  If I become Govenor of New York, this will be news.  Now?  It's just kinda sad.

Inevitable Concept Blog of the Week: Dads in Short Shorts September 10, 2009 10:11 AM | permalink

Because what's better than a dad showing some pale thigh?  The answer is, of course, a blog full of fathers showing what they got going on under that specific region of their pants.  Amirite?

Dads in Short Shorts

2 Dumb Bloggers; 1 Cup Movie September 9, 2009 11:38 AM | permalink

Ritch and I are in a movie.

The same movie.  For reals.

It's called I'll Believe You and it comes out on DVD today.  It's also on iTunes, Time Warner On Demand and elsewheres.

The flick stars Mo Rocca, Ed Helms, Chris Elliot, Patrick Warburton, David Alan Basche, Fred Willard and many more comedy luminaries.

It has got nothing to do with truTV, it's just something we did, and its cool and we figure if a full 1/4 of our blogging force is in a feature film, we are allowed to shamelessly hawk it here on the blog for one day only.  Oh and Ritch has a werewolf book he co-authored coming out later this month, which I will also plug because we nerds gotta look out for each other.

The DVD has tons of extras even I haven't seen yet.  Here's some action shots of me and Ritch in the movie.  Hope you enjoy and please order one copy for each eye!

 

That's me as Rhonda from Melbourne Beach.  I play a kook.  Can you say typecasting?

 

That's Ritch acting his socks off!  Fact: His faux metal band shirts were designed by an Emmy-award winning writer and performer.

 

That's me (middle) and Ritch in the back -- proof we are not the same person!  Also Mo Rocca (r) and David Alan Basche (l).

 

And finally, here's Ritch's character duct taped and eating an ice cream sandwich.  Again, typecasting!

Inevitable Concept Blog of the Week: People in Pizza Slice Costumes Becoming Pizzas July 20, 2009 4:33 PM | permalink

I'm breaking a few rules for this week's ICBotW, People in Pizza Slice Costumes Becoming Pizzas. 

It's not really a blog, and I don't think the (actual) genius that came up with this one deserves to have it tagged as "inevitable."

What it is, though, is a concept and execution packaged in such a complete way that I'm having trouble saying anything else about it. 

Kudos, PiPSCBP creator.