Dumb news: Getting every MLB mascot tattooed on your arm is dumb February 14, 2012 5:45 PM | permalink

Base cadet Would you like to meet a man who has a tattoo of every Major League Baseball mascot on his body? Me neither. This guy's just lucky our Dumbest Tattoos gallery was finished before we heard of him. [BroBible]

Draper-back writer Seriously, the rumor that Paul was dead was more plausible. [EW.com]

Anchor slammed If you're just an everyday looking schlub, even one who works for cable news, it's generally not a great idea to ask supermodel Kate Upton to be your Valentine on live TV. It's even dumber when you have a pregnant wife at home. [Uproxx]

Beef heart We gave you bacon roses last week, so why not steak roses for V-day? You knew this already, but the Internet is weird and gross. [DailyWh.at]

Anatomically correct valentines There are plenty of romantic or poetic ways to show your loved one that your heart belongs to them. Here are some dumb options if you want to go the more literal route. [Mental Floss]

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5 pictures from Tumblr that will make you go 'WTF': Love Edition February 14, 2012 3:00 PM | permalink

1. May the Force be with you. All night long. (via livingpartoflife)

Continue reading "5 pictures from Tumblr that will make you go 'WTF': Love Edition" »

Puking should never be part of one's wedding vows, even if your name is Ralph February 14, 2012 1:00 PM | permalink

I can't pretend to understand the butterflies that are roaming around this groom's stomach. Getting married must be one of the most nerve-wracking things a guy or a gal can do. Foolish commitments know no sexual boundary, sobriety level, branch of government or some combination of the three.

Love can be a great and powerful thing, but as evidenced above, it can also have the opposite effect. The love someone can come spewing out of you just as hard and fast as so much undigested soup. And we ought to know, we're bitter bloggers. Our hearts still have a big, ugly footprint on it from the high school prom date that stomped all over it. Oh and Happy Valentine's Day!

[via BroBible]

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These videos somehow make sex look boring February 14, 2012 11:00 AM | permalink

Pop stars and rappers often make sexy time with genetically perfect people look about as easy and commonplace as folding laundry.

This is to be expected of hip-hop moguls and real superstars — they most certainly have sex oozing out their ears. But the nobodies and wannabe musicians in these YouTube music videos have not earned the right to behave as if the joys of doggie style and Megan Fox lookalikes are common fodder for everyday life. Meet the talentless folks who are sucking the magic out of sex.

5 YouTube Music Videos That Suck The Fun Out Of Sex

[Cracked]

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Nice guys and stick-up men finish last February 14, 2012 9:00 AM | permalink

Just because you're polite when you commit armed robbery doesn't mean you won't go to jail.  This guy learned this lesson the hard way after he robbed a gas station in a rather original, nonchalant style.  Check it out in this clip from World's Dumbest.

Dumb news: Another attack at Columbine High brings back bad memories February 13, 2012 5:30 PM | permalink

Please hammer, don't hurt 'em Whatever's in the water, get it checked out. [DenverChannel]

The thought only counts for so much If you someone really loves you, there are no bad Valentine's Day gifts. That being said, here are 10 gifts that might put that love to the test. [Huff Post Weird]

Con err If you're running for President you need to watch what you say. When Mitt Romney referred to himself as "severely conservative," Ryan Lizza complied this list of other things that had been described that way, including teachers who hit kids, the 2004 budget of Ghana, and reformed alcoholics. [The New Yorker]

Bolly wood If I got caught watching porn at work, I could probably just claim to be watching something someone forwarded me so I could do my job better. Of course, that's the kind of excuse that goes over a little better at Dumb As A Blog than it does from a member of the Indian government. [Slate]

Beast in show Do you like the story of Beauty and the Beast? I hope so, 'cause here come five more versions of it. [AV Club]

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Almost three million people have watched this February 13, 2012 5:00 PM | permalink

So you know, that's where we are.

As a country.

How are you?

The most insane Valentine's Day promos ever February 13, 2012 4:00 PM | permalink

                                          (photo: HappyPlace)
Valentine's Day is almost upon us! 

The birds are singing, the bells are ringin,g and every boy and girl is bursting at the seams with unbridled love for not merely the object of their affections, but for the world and everyone in it.

Or, barring that, men across the nation are wracking their brains for a good way to re-frame the way their wives and girlfriends look at them after Super Bowl Sunday. The orgies of drunkenness, gluttony, gambling and other more disgusting forms of male bonding that accompany that unofficial American holiday aren't pretty, and the time is NOW to remind the woman in your life that you're more than just a beer-swilling gorilla.

You're a beer swilling gorilla who LOVES her.

There are plenty of ways to get back on your beloved's good side, but unless you're dating a woman with an extremely heightened sense of irony, you can do a lot better than a Valentine's date at a cleavage-themed chicken restaurant. For more ridiculous promotions you'd be smart to avoid, check out the following photos:

[The most unromantic, bizarre, or borderline psychotic Valentine's Day promotions ever offered]

[Happy Place]

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Dumb Poll: What was the most awkward moment from last night’s Grammys? February 13, 2012 3:00 PM | permalink

Though last night's Grammy Awards were overshadowed by the sudden death of legendary songstress Whitney Houston on Saturday, the show still had its fair share of awkward, cringe-worthy moments.

But first, the good: Jennifer Hudson's "I Will Always Love You" tribute to the fallen singer was extremely moving, as was Adele's "Rolling In The Deep" performance, who also swept the show by taking home six Grammys.

Now, the bad. You vote.

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This is what happens when you do all of the Internet's dumb challenges February 13, 2012 1:00 PM | permalink

The Internet is full of dumb ideas: eating cinnamon, snorting mustard powder, a "Fred" movie.

Normally, doing just one of these activities FOR FREE would qualify you for a lower rung on the food chain, but putting them all together earns you a spot on an appetizer menu for some more developed and hungry species...like a rat or a Central Park pigeon. That's because you've already marinated yourself with milk and spiced your innards with a lovely cinnamon finish.

[via Fark, KillSomeTime]

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