The Point of No Return October 14, 2009 11:42 AM | permalink

While you won't find Dik But in this gallery, because thankfully (hopefully) he's not on someone's face, check out our newly-appended Identifying Marks photo gallery - a stunning collection of 42 mug shots displaying full-color examples of the worst ink in the clink.

Oh and look out for the Bald Eagle.

Like you could miss him.

ZEBRA ATTACK!!! October 12, 2009 3:36 PM | permalink

Around here, we don't have mid-afternoon doldrums.  Our employees are on constant high-alert, because lurking between these cubicles is an angry rock n' roll zebra with a penchant for sucker punches. Just watch poor Kyle go from fancy-pants male model to the latest victim of full-bore zebra rage.

What's Next? Tennis? September 8, 2009 10:34 AM | permalink

Dogs playing poker is so 1903.  Today, it's all about dogs playing pool.  Enjoy!

Can't Buy Happiness? Steal It! August 10, 2009 4:48 PM | permalink

                 

What's weirder than stealing someone else's rubber sex doll? Stealing their raw meat and lube. Read these and other real tales of ludicrous larceny in the new Strange Loot Photo Gallery on truTV's Crime Library.

Perhaps if the carnivorous crook had watched the vegetarian propaganda cartoon The Meatrix, he (or she) would have opted for the Tofurky and soy cheese instead. 

Who Wore It Best? July 30, 2009 3:10 PM | permalink

Imitation may be the sincerest form of flattery, but I don't think pop diva Pink would approve of the conduct of the vicious vixen below, who's wearing a perforated outfit nearly identical to the one she wore in her sassy Most Girls video.

Speaking of fierce females, Cyndi Lauper raps and Lil' Kim sings for Nelson Mandela's birthday.

Like it? There's a whole boatload of girls going wild on our own Most Daring.

I Steel Beleef July 10, 2009 1:27 PM | permalink

For those who enjoyed those cute Ukranian boys singing Katy Perry as much as I did, I give you Russian grandmas singing Britney Spears. 

The Problem is a Parent July 7, 2009 12:02 PM | permalink

When young celebs flutter about, regaling the tabloids with slips of both the Freudian and nip varieties, it's cute.  Until it turns leave-Britney-alone tragic, that is.

  But when the parents of these half-naked national treasures try to keep up with (or outdo) their kids' antics, it's just gross. I mean, Jesus Christ Bail Bonds, you guys, everyone knows you can't out-famous your famous offspring.

But they try, oh how they try (see Michael Lohan, left). Here's a gallery of parents shoving their way into the spotlight.  Enjoy this phenomenon while it's here, because for all we know the d-bag birthrate may drop due to unwillingness to bring a child into a world without Michael Jackson.

Whack Final Wishes & Living Weirdness June 29, 2009 9:00 AM | permalink

There are people who identify themselves with their work so much that at life's end they want to be buried in it, like the man who invented the Pringles can, or comic book genius Mark Gruenwald, whose ashes were mixed with the ink used for a limited-edition run of Squadron Supreme.   You can read about these and other unusual wills at Crime Library's New Weird Wills Photo Gallery.

And then, much like our dearly departed King of Pop, there are those whose identity is oft disguised. Take for example creepy yet mesmerizing YouTube user "Julie." Eek, but I can't not look. 

Image: Deep Purple Hair Clip with sparkly skully center, $8 plus shipping here on Etsy.

Go Bop Somewhere Else June 9, 2009 12:44 PM | permalink

Is there anything yuckier than Kidz Bop? Eager-faced tweens pumping their sweaty little fists in the air and overannunciating the words to songs that were already bad to begin with? No thank you. I would rather watch creepy cat circus.

Do You Have What it Takes to Take a Bite Out of Crime? May 19, 2009 3:48 PM | permalink

Remember McGruff? The raspy-voiced crime hound in a trench coat who had a catchy mailing address (Chicago, IL, 60652) and encouraged kids to be obey the law? 

The  teachings of McGruff are still an important part of growing up on the straight and narrow, and the National Crime Prevention Council offers a McGruff costume to help cops teach kids how to say no to drugs and avoid bullies (in 3D!).

The McGruff getup is no regular mascot though, and must be treated with the utmost respect.  Here is a list of strict guidelines on who is eligible to be McGruff and how it is to be worn.  You can even order a CD-ROM on what not to do when you're in character. 

Unfortunately, not everyone appreciates McGruff's mission. 

Perfect for Summer May 11, 2009 9:58 AM | permalink

You know what I want? Hooves.

Night of the Living Blow-Up Doll May 8, 2009 12:17 PM | permalink

Hey look a video of a shiny plastic lady dancing and singing with a Russian accent! Vat a skreem! And if you find that this imagery tickles your fancy, watch this touching yet disturbing documentary.

The Ultimate Bait and Switch May 1, 2009 3:45 PM | permalink

A 31-year-old Swedish lady who went online to pick up men was convicted of fraud and sentenced to 18 months in prison.  Did she post a flattering picture of herself from her cheerleader days 15 years ago?

Close, but not quite.

She claimed she was a Playboy model with a dying daughter, a combination that caused her sympathetic internet suitors to give her hundreds of thousands of kronors.  Maybe she thought that if the court believed that she's a Playboy model, they'd go easy on her. Not so. Bunnies get in trouble too.  

Bonus: Here's the story in Swedish, complete a photo of the model the Swedish swindler pretended to be.

Not a Nugget of Decency April 3, 2009 12:28 PM | permalink

In Australia, a pimp allegedly paid a 16-year-old prostitute in chicken nuggets. 

Nuggets? That's a new low. I mean, sliders, sure. 

But only with ranch sauce.    

What is Love? April 3, 2009 6:00 AM | permalink

Love is a many-splendored thing.

To some, it means looking out for one another, and knowing that there is someone there who cares about you enough to beat the crap out of an easy target at a pizza parlor.

A perfect example of this can be seen in the following video, which expands on the famous words of Haddaway by saying: "What is love? Baby don't hurt me, hurt that guy."

Which Way to the Dumb Convention? March 30, 2009 10:23 AM | permalink

  There are some places that are best left unrobbed.  Knocking off a fudge shop, for instance, will only give you a tummy ache.  Houses with webcams are also a bad idea.

But hands down, the worst place to rob of all time ever is...a police convention! What on Earth was Jerome Marquis Blanchett, of Harrisburg, PA, thinking when he tried to rob a retired officer at gunpoint in a bathroom stall? Three hundred cops and one measly robber make for one impressive takedown. 

Forgot that Part March 4, 2009 5:26 PM | permalink

If you've got an artificial leg, don't be like this guy and lose it during a robbery; a lot of  bad things could happen. 

For instance, a fallen beauty queen could beat her sister with it.

Or, some creepy gnomes could find it and use it for their collection of creepy jewelry.

Best to keep it fastened.

Be My Vealentine February 13, 2009 12:57 PM | permalink

While I was looking for material for the Valentine's Day Special: Sweethearts in the Slammer photo gallery, I came across the Valentine's Day card seen at left. 

Now, maybe I'm in denial, but I'd rather not have cute living animals be associated with edible dead animals.  Not that I don't love meat. If I got offered a surprise Valentine's Day vacation to this place, I'd probably go. 

Because while it's creepy to see an adorable calf offering up his own flesh to his beloved, meat can be very romantic.  Happy V-Day everyone!   

Hey Buddy, Nice Pants February 12, 2009 10:41 AM | permalink

It takes a special kind of confidence to go out in public like Mr. and Mrs. Matching Patches over here.  The kind of special confidence that can only be obtained through manhood enlargement supplements. 

Because I am obviously  the penis pump industry's target audience, my spam folder is constantly bombarded with highly amusing "grow your junk" pitches. My favorite? "Shock Jessica Alba into Submission."

If I were to shock Jessica Alba into submission I would go about it with much more stealth. Like this.

But then again, that's just my style. 

From Russia With Dumb Stuff February 6, 2009 5:48 PM | permalink

As I do every year, this January I made a trip back to my native land to see my family and reconnect with my roots.  Each time I go, I like to bring back a little piece of Russia to share.  But since black caviar is banned and wouldn't do so well traveling through a series of tubes anyway, you'll have to make do with a couple of delicious little snippets of life and culture in THE BIGGEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD.

Meet Via Gra, a pop group made up of three replaceable hot women.  The Via stands for "Vocal-Instrumental Ensemble," and the Gra is there for ultimate arousal.  Here they are doing a cover of America's favorite bachelorette party hit.

And because you're mainly reading this for an explanation of the photo above, it's a coffee table! Found at St. Petersburg's famous & fancy Gostiny Dvor shopping center while browsing for Zenit souvenirs, this poor fellow costs a pretty penny.  Click to enlarge and check out the suction cups on his head and knees!  

12 Days of Yuletide Dumbness Season Finale August 1, 2008 8:59 AM | permalink

At last we have arrived on the final day of this virtual advent calendar of videos.

Hooray!

On the 12th day of truTV Dumb Christmas in July my true love gave to me...

...the Witch who Kidnapped Santa.

12 Days of Yuletide Dumbness, Day 11 July 31, 2008 9:20 AM | permalink

This is the penultimate day of truTV 12 Dumb Days of Christmas, and I say, let it snow!

Snow is exciting, and it can lead to some wacky behavior. I mean, when else do people throw themselves on the ground and flap their limbs with glee?

However, snowy weather is not an excuse for completely absurd and belligerent conduct.

On the eleventh day of truTV Dumb Christmas in July my true love gave to me...

...a drunken snow dummy.

12 Days of Yuletide Dumbness, Day 10 July 30, 2008 8:59 AM | permalink

On day three of our truTV summer holiday extravaganza, we saw a man who crawled down a chimney for money. Today, we meet a man who did the same thing for love.

Like the first guy, this Santa emulator was met with very unpleasant consequences.  Both of these guys should have left any and all chimney descending to the white-bearded professional, and kept themselves busy with the easiest coloring book ever.

On the tenth day of truTV Dumb Christmas in July my true love gave to me...

...a fool in love.

12 Days of Yuletide Dumbness, Day Nine July 29, 2008 9:49 AM | permalink

Who said the 12 Days of truTV Dumb Christmas in July have to be consecutive?

On Day Four we saw a woman go to extremes to get her shopping done.

On the ninth day of truTV Dumb Christmas in July my true love gave to me...

...a mall goer who makes that woman look like Miss Manners.

12 Days of Yuletide Dumbness, Day Eight July 25, 2008 10:51 AM | permalink

Christmas is supposed to be a happy time when people set their differences aside, put sweaters on their dogs and bask in once-a-year togetherness by the fireplace.

So why is everyone fighting about Christmas in this clip? Because it's not really about Christmas, it's about a guy named Christmas, and he's accused of murdering his brother-in-law.

On the eighth day of truTV Dumb Christmas in July my true love game to me...

...the un-merriest Christmas ever.

12 Days of Yuletide Dumbness, Day Seven July 23, 2008 10:57 AM | permalink

Hello and welcome back to truTV's celebration of 12 Dumb Days of Christmas in July.
Today is as good a day as any to be reminded of what Christmas is really all about.

On the seventh day of truTV Dumb Christmas in July my true love gave to me....
...some ultra-wholesome kids who carry the true spirit of Christmas with them all year long.

12 Days of Yuletide Dumbness, Day Six July 18, 2008 3:12 PM | permalink

Here we are at the merry midpoint of 12 Dumb Days of truTV Christmas in July. How time flies.

On day two we learned that not everyone who's dressed like Santa is Santa. You need the deep voice, big belly, jolly attitude, sleigh full of gifts, loyal reindeer... And you need a beard.

On the sixth day of truTV Dumb Christmas in July my true love gave to me...
...another example of how a Santa suit does not a Santa make.

12 Days of Yuletide Dumbness, Day Five July 17, 2008 5:35 PM | permalink

Welcome back to 12 Dumb Days of truTV Christmas in July. This is Day Five.

There are people who take Christmas decorations very seriously.  They take great care in painstakingly decking their homes out with blinking lights, glowing gingerbread men, boughs of holly etc, etc. And then there are those who have destruction on the mind. 

On the fifth day of Dumb truTV Christmas in July my true love gave to me...

...some young Grinches who get their holiday jollies by vandalizing decorative Christmas setups.  Maybe their coach told them to do it.

12 Days of Yuletide Dumbness, Day Four July 16, 2008 4:33 PM | permalink

Ho ho ho, holiday shoppers, are we having fun yet?

We all know that the mall is a stressful and hazardous place. Every child is screaming for the last Elmo toy on shelf, and mommy is willing to bust some heads open for it.  Christmas shopping craziness is as much a holiday tradition as eggnog.

So, put on your steel-toed boots and get your credit cards out.

On the fourth day of Dumb truTV Christmas in July my true love gave to me...

...a lady who knows that good shopping begins with a good parking spot.

12 Days of Yuletide Dumbness, Day Three July 15, 2008 2:23 PM | permalink