Kool Keith & His 98-Year-Old Fridgerator Theory October 14, 2009 3:07 PM | permalink

Kool Keith is insane, but even the craziest of crazies has a moment or two of clarity that nobody sees coming.  Case in point, his incredibly lucid method of keeping people away from his edibles, which amounts to teaching your taste buds to like the taste of say, soda water, over Kool-Aid.  Just don't ask me what 'Oak Ridge' cake is... 

Easy Targets: You Don't Know Jack About the Internet and Should Feel Bad About It October 7, 2009 3:47 PM | permalink

Inevitable Concept Blog of the Week: Dads in Short Shorts September 10, 2009 10:11 AM | permalink

Because what's better than a dad showing some pale thigh?  The answer is, of course, a blog full of fathers showing what they got going on under that specific region of their pants.  Amirite?

Dads in Short Shorts

Robocop on a Unicorn August 25, 2009 11:21 AM | permalink

 

It's a whole genre!

via BBG

The Bun is in Your Mind August 24, 2009 6:04 PM | permalink

Full disclosure here - I've lived in a near frat house situation for the past couple years, where activities like wrapping things in bacon, using pizza slices as bread for cheese steaks or having General Tso's tacos hardly causes a stir anymore.

That said, it's a whole other story for a fast food chain to start re-purposing meat as bread, like KFC's new Double Down Chicken Sandwich. 

To be fair, I should have seen this coming, seeing as though KFC is owned by the same parent company that OK'd Taco Bell's Cheesy Gordita Crunch, which, for those who don't remember, re-purposed cheese as adhesive.  What next, Yum! Brands, tartar sauce as hand sanitizer?  A breadstick/crayon to sign your credit card receipt with? 

via Food Geekery

Inevitable Concept Blog of the Week: People in Pizza Slice Costumes Becoming Pizzas July 20, 2009 4:33 PM | permalink

I'm breaking a few rules for this week's ICBotW, People in Pizza Slice Costumes Becoming Pizzas. 

It's not really a blog, and I don't think the (actual) genius that came up with this one deserves to have it tagged as "inevitable."

What it is, though, is a concept and execution packaged in such a complete way that I'm having trouble saying anything else about it. 

Kudos, PiPSCBP creator.

Inevitable Concept Blog of the Week: Pets Who Want to Kill Themselves July 7, 2009 1:08 PM | permalink

Pets will do whatever it takes to get an extra treat or a little more affection--and it normally doesn't take too long for them to learn the proper technique for earning it.

Then there are the animals at Pet Who Want to Kill Themselves, dogs and cats that have figured out that no matter how good the treat or back rub, it's not worth modeling a pet thong or putting up with toddlers drawing on you. 

Please someone put these pets on Reconcile (a pet anti-depressant), or at least set up a pet suicide hotline.  Or maybe it's time to just put down their owners. 

Inevitable Concept Blog of the Week: There, I Fixed It June 29, 2009 3:54 PM | permalink

If I were managing editor of this latest concept blog, I'd insist on a few days, no, a few weeks of nothing but memorial Mighty Putty and Hercules Hooks fixes. 

Actually, if I were managing editor of hot blog sensation, There I Fixed It, I'd be laughing all the way to the internet money bank to pick up my oversized sack of cash with printed money symbol.  Amirite?

There, I Fixed It

"Tool" and Other Awful Home Repair Euphemisms June 26, 2009 2:21 PM | permalink

Equipped with a porn-star rack, belly-button piercing, tramp stamp and a so-blatant-you-can-imagine-a-fifth-grader-delivering-these-jokes-better sense of sexual innuendo, the instructional videos of HotForTools (both-eyes wink-winking, punch-in-the-stomach nudge-nudging), I'm sure are very informative, when it comes to, you know, learning about it.  "It" being whatever job she's doing and stuff, if you know what I mean. 

via BBG

Dumb Eats: A Whole Chicken in a Can May 1, 2009 10:57 AM | permalink

Ugh.

Given a choice between eating this after-birth of a chicken, ordering KFC's new Sharpie-made-grill-marks chicken, or dressing up in a chicken suit and earning a living handing out samplers of Chick-fil-A,  I'd have to choose that last one.  As long as they provide dental insurance.*

*Note: that is not actually my job, I swear.  I just happen to own a chicken suit and I'm VERY passionate about poultry.

Look Internet, No Hands! March 27, 2009 5:46 PM | permalink

Basically, run away screaming if you get on a bus and discover this guy is your driver.

Are crazy drivers everywhere? Check out insane video of a maniac mom with her 18-month old son in her lap trying to flee the fuzz in her truck.  And heck, you could be doing nothing wrong on the road and you could be nailed by a turkey vulture.  So this weekend, hey hey hey -- let's be careful out there.

Freakin' Baby Bangs March 18, 2009 12:15 PM | permalink

From the site: "For the girl who has everything - EXCEPT HAIR"

Also, and I'm assuming this an actual baby's statement: "I'm not a boy!"

And finally, some pure wisdom:

"Our Philosophy
At Baby Bangs! we believe in the beauty of childhood. Our unique designs are sprinkled with MAGIC!

~inspiring a world of whimsical wonder and mystical magical memorable moments for you and your baby girl to cherish Forever! For she is, and always will be, Your LiTTLe PRINCESS!"

Freakin' Baby Bangs, people

Disgusted Snacker Says, 'I Will Never, Ever Eat Chips Out of a Bag Again' March 2, 2009 3:45 PM | permalink

 

"From now, they will be dumped in the bowl first."

I wouldn't complain if I got a free cellphone with my bag of chips.  But this very concerned potato-chip munching mother clearly only thinks of the children.  And not the cell-phone-starved children of America, but the ones that will put a cell phone in their mouth, and uh, talk? 

Anyone else notice that I DIDN'T make a "something something wrong kind of chip" joke.  I'm better than that, but not better than not pointing it out.  Think about it. 

Video Dump: You're-Not-Evel-Knievel Edition February 20, 2009 6:16 AM | permalink

Just because you see something large, it doesn't mean it's a good idea to jump over it.  Even if you're wearing an American flag jumpsuit.  Especially if you're wearing an American flag jumpsuit. 

Not good idea #1: Launching yourself on a dirt bike high enough to grab something dangling off a helicopter. 

Not good idea #2: Being pulled by a pickup truck while sitting on top of what is essentially a piece of plywood with four wheels.

Not good idea #3: Attempting to pull some sweet air on a dirt bike over jumps more fit for skiers.

Not good idea #4: This kite surfer gets a few bonus points.  He actually clears a building on his board the first time, at which point you'd figure he would walk away triumphant, instead of going back for more and failing in a brutal fashion the second time.

So what have we learned?  I've learned that there aren't enough American flag jumpsuit owners out there.  Go get one, or I'm telling everyone you're a communist.

Video Dump: You Can't Park Your Car Here Edition February 10, 2009 4:29 PM | permalink

You know when you can't find a parking spot? 

You're unable to find a spot outside of your beauty supply store, so you decide to park your car in aisle two, right next to the sunscreen?

Or, when you're in such a rush to get to that internet cafe that you smash your truck through a glass window?

How about when you decide it's time your convenience store installs a drive-thru window, and that you'll take it upon yourself to do all the work for them?

Or that one time you decided the best place to park your truck would be on the train tracks (you swore you'd be in and out)?  And then someone saw how cool you are and decided to copy you and your awesome parking skills?

Well, that was dumb and you should feel bad. 

Video Dump: World Nude Day Edition February 6, 2009 3:04 PM | permalink

In honor of World Nude Day (thank you Google Trends), we present porn!

Just kidding.  Here's as close as we can get on truTV.com:

Some brawlin Brazilian bikini babes.  Watch out for flying pixelations.

Two strippers who seem out of place: one in the subway, the other in a police station. 

Two would-be bank robbers, not just caught, but caught in the nude.  In broad daylight.  And I don't mean the made-for-tv movie staring Brian Dennehy.

And despite it being also Rick Astley's birthday, you have my guarantee that these links are, in fact, Rickroll-free.

Finally: Smittens January 23, 2009 10:03 AM | permalink

Do you have hands? How about a significant other?  Are you incredibly sappy?  Are people always telling you to "get a room"?  Is it cold out?  Do you like sharing EVERYTHING?  Are you so out of touch with everything else going on around you that you'd consider purchasing and wearing a set of gloves that bring you and your partner together like the conjoined twins you were meant to be?  Are you still reading this? 

Presenting Smittens, for the lunatics that answered "yes" to all of those questions.  Also, what is wrong with you?

Finally: The BennyHillifier December 15, 2008 12:13 PM | permalink

Watch out, rest-of-internet, this incredibly advanced app takes your stale old YouTube videos and replaces the audio with the live-streaming  classic, "Yakety Sax."

If that hasn't rendered you speechless, it's at least rendered me text-less.  Also, what's wrong with you?

The BennyHillifier

(FYI You have to copy in the Youtube ID, which is everything after the equals sign in a Youtube url.  For instance, to watch crazy-lady-who-keeps-130-cats-in-a-room, located here - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8ZD4_FL0ms, you insert just Q8ZD4_FL0ms.)

Old Media Even Funnier When Applied to New Media October 16, 2008 12:43 PM | permalink

There's just something awesomely hilarious about mistakes and misprints in newspaper clippings, some of which look like they might date to the first printing press. 

Maybe it's just me, but I love knowing that a professional, paid editor took a look at copy like "Chick Accuses Some of Her Male Colleagues of Sexism" and said, "Yeah sure, run it!"

Anyway, welcome, Mr. Editor-In-Chief, to the place where public embarrassments just won't fade away, no matter the size of your whitewashing campaign's budget.  I call it the Internet. 

There are so many great clippings here, including the classic baby-or-burrito in the trash can and the duck who refuses medical attention. 

EASY NINJA MARKETING October 7, 2008 3:25 PM | permalink

Look, I don't know if you read the title of this post, but let me reiterate in all-caps bold with a period after every awesome word.

EASY.  NINJA.  MARKETING.

Everyone knows ninjas not only make sound financial decisions (have you ever seen a broke ninja?  I didn't think so), but are also the best marketers.  It's high time for you and your loved ones to distill centuries of ninja training into a highly lucrative home business.  If not now, when?  Never?  That's what I thought.

Easy Ninja Marketing

For those of you looking for a more Western-leaning get-rich-quick scheme method for developing your personal wealth, you may want to reach out to Stephen J. Young, the "Million Dollar Closer" (watch the video).  Because "selling isn't closing, and closing isn't selling."  Game, set and match.  Everyone wins,  especially you. 

Honestly, with all these amazing techniques out there available to Joe Six Pack, I don't see how our economy can't succeed. 

Cell Phones To Answer Age-Old Question: 'Where The Party At?' June 30, 2008 3:51 PM | permalink

Are you one of the many people who bought a sweet, shiny new iPhone or BlackBerry Pearl and was completely puzzled when the babes and hunks didn't throw themselves at your pants like an Axe Bodyspray ad?

Good news for you then!  The Cityscene cell phone application is here to help you find everyone who's been ditching you on the weekends, so you can embarrass yourself all over again.  It takes "real-time" snap shots of cell phone activity and through the twin magics of technology and internet tells you  where you can find lots of people at any time of night or day. Lots of activity near one nightclub at 2AM? Maybe you should head over.

And in the morning, after you so totally scored, the "super-dynamic" alarm wakes you up--extra early if the city is particularly busy, a little later if things are slow.

I might need a couple days off to get over a product write-up featuring "real-time" and  "super-dynamic."  Available now in San Francisco, coming soon to some cities in the U.S. that actually matter. 

Call Me Old School... May 21, 2008 9:03 AM | permalink

...but I'm a sucker for an animated gif.  Forget video, if it can't be compressed to the size of a stamp and have a total run time of less than four seconds then it wasn't interesting in the first place.   

Check out these treasures, created by someone who probably pulled the clip off our site.  Click on them for their parent videos on the truTV video player.

 

What ever happened to a jury of your peers? May 13, 2008 5:24 PM | permalink

From the Houston Chronicle:

"'I've had prospective jurors get lost before, but it never occurred to me that they might be getting ready for a marijuana trial by, allegedly, smoking marijuana,' (Judge) Ross said."

Maybe Miss Cornelia Turner Mayo, pictured to the left, was thinking that a quick joint outside the courthouse was a good way to get into the defendant's shoes.    I think she was just pre-gaming for an afternoon of eye-opening justice served over a bed of heart-pounding procedural drama.  Starring Sam Waterston.