Shockingly dim student sues school district, teacher
Earlier this year a New Hampshire high school student in shop class clamped electrical cords to his own nipples and plugged them in.
Three guesses as to what happened next:
1) Despite having a classroom full of other high school students to babysit, his teacher managed to intervene and warn him that he could really hurt himself even though everyone knows better than to do sh*t like that
2) The student was shocked so severely that he morphed into a New Hampshire version of Dr. Manhattan and has been recruited by NASA to work on nuclear and quantum physics
3) Kyle Dubois was shocked so intensely that his heart stopped beating. He believes this could have been prevented if the teacher, Thomas Kelley, had warned him in advance that what he was doing could prove to be dangerous.
Dubois is suing Kelley, the school district, and the city of Dover because his parents claim that he also sustained permanent brain damage, but no word on whether that was before or after shocking himself with live wires.
Kelley has since resigned.
We are guessing it has something to do with the frustration of no longer teaching and encouraging children to be smart but instead having to spend all of your time and energy teaching them to not be so stupid.


