There Won't Be Mud
The town elders of Vero Beach, FL must be sick of tourist dollars, because they've proposed a city ordinance banning a variety of entertaining social activities, including "hard-core pornography at drinking establishments as well as boxing, kick-boxing, or wrestling, including in Jello, oil, or mud."
It wouldn't surprise me if oil wrestling promoters in nearby Fort Pierce are behind the plans.
Of particular interest is the bill's detailed description of the human buttocks, which, if the bill passes, must be covered up at all time in public: "the term 'buttocks' shall mean the area at the rear of the body which lies between two imaginary lines running parallel to the ground when a person is standing, the first or top such line drawn at the top of the nates (i.e. the prominence of the muscles running from the back of the hip to the back of the leg) and the second or bottom line drawn at the at the lowest visible of this cleavage or the lowest point of the curvature of the fleshy protuberance, whichever is lower, and between two imaginary lines on each side of the body, which lines are perpendicular to the ground and to the horizontal lines described above, and ..."
