Alex Rodriguez: 25 Random Things About Me
Alexander Emmanuel Rodriguez's Notes
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25 Random Things About Me
Tuesday, February 10, 2009 at 8:57am
1) I was born in 1975, in the Washington Heights section of Manhattan, and moved to the Dominican Republic when I was four.
2) My favorite team when I was a kid was the Mets.
3) When I was on the Texas Rangers, between the years 2001 and 2003, I used the performance-enhancing drug Primobolan, (among other substances.) Primobolan is illegal to sell or market in the Unites States. Oh wait; this is 25 Random things you DON'T know about me, right!? LOL!!!! Sorry.
4) When I just said sorry just then, I was only saying sorry for not writing something random, I wasn't saying sorry for taking steroids.
5) I AM sorry I GOT CAUGHT taking steroids. For reals. That sucked.
6) Sports Illustrated can blow me.
7) Madonna's "Like A Virgin" came out in 1984. I was nine years old at the time, and a virgin. Ironic, no?
8) I don't really understand what the word "ironic" means.
9) I only drive cars with automatic transmissions. Tough time with the clutch.
10 ) PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY!
11) Peter Gammons smells kind of oaky. Like furniture, or a thick lacquer. Sort of a combination of old people and furniture polish. I guess that's more about Peter Gammons than me, but I can kinda still smell it on my clothes. Gross.
12) I'm pretty sure Derek Jeter has been ignoring my friend request.
13) You remember that TV show Webster? That show used to crack me up.
14) I've seen Jose Canseco's testicles. I got a good look in the locker room one time. I know you think they are small and shriveled, but they are exceptionally plump. Very nice, well rounded set. Amazing, really. Explains a lot.
15) Where the hell is my peanut butter and jelly?
16) Johnny Damon has been very supportive of me through all this.
17) Johnny Damon is an idiot.
18) Did you know that the Kabballah teaches that men shouldn't masturbate because all the sperm are abandoned souls and become demons?What made me think about that? Oh yeah- Johnny Damon.
19) I can fit an entire papaya between my cheek and gum.
20) I honestly believe that Drew Carey is a better Price is Right host than Bob Barker was.
21) When I lived on Park Avenue, one of my neighbors had a four pound maltese that he dressed up in a Yankee uniform, and pushed around in a baby carriage. I know how that dog feels.
22) I once pulled a three way with Joan and Melissa Rivers.
23) I always thought it was weird that they call the Yankees uniform "pinstripes." Those stripes are WAY thicker than pins. Rolling pins, maybe. Or bowling pins. Actually, I guess there are a lot more kinds of pins than I originally thought.
24) Man! I'm almost done with this! I can't wait to share it with a whole bunch of my friends!
25)I have no idea who my friends are anymore.
Truly one of the funniest things I've read on the net in a long time. Post this everywhere.
Posted by: glenjie | 02/10/09 5:30PM