Lewd Acts with Chewing Gum Caught On Camera, Say Cops
If Harold Jones, pictured, offers you gum -- do not take it!
Why? The former North Carolina college maintenance worker has been charged with a felony for food tampering after allegedly masturbating in a woman's office and then touching the gum to his privates before RE-WRAPPING THE GUM AND LEAVING IT AS A GIFT ON HER DESK.
WRAL, the local station covering this story, is treating this story of a guy doubling his pleasure like it's Watergate, with near round-the-clock coverage of the confectionery crime. This report has the best unintentionally hilarious line, when reporter Amanda Lamb says, "Because the college is a government facility, they can't ban anyone, including Jones, from coming on campus." He, he!
Jones, for his part, told Lamb he was "truly sorry," but thought cops were going overboard. "Arrested? For what?" he wants to know. "What did I do to her personally?"
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What a moron! “What did I do to her personally?” You have got to be kidding me. What if she chewed on that gum? NASTY! That was clearly his intent. He intended her harm. How can he seriously not think that is harmful? The sick prick. What he did is, IMO, a sex crime. Hopefully he gets convicted of a felony.
Posted by: Say What? | 12/10/08 1:19PM
Really?! A felony for "food tampering"? When the hell was gum ever classified as a food?!
And come to think of it (no pun intended) when the hell has anyone EVER chewed a candy-ish treat left as a "gift" by a maintenance worker?!
I know there's a joke about "Chicklets" here somewhere, but I just can't find it.
Posted by: Morgan | 12/10/08 11:53PM
It may not be a food, but when you chew gum you do ingest substances from the gum. Therefore it can be classified as food tampering. Thankfully she didn't chew it which was clearly his intent. I say it should be a felony.
Posted by: Say What? | 12/11/08 8:36AM
Okay, this is twice as bad as the guy who would get off in a lady's water bottle and put it back in the fridge, and she'd end up drinking it! Yuck, "I'm Sorry", when did that EVER make up for a guy doing something gross to an unsuspecting woman.... NEVER!
P.S. I will never eat gum again...
Posted by: Sam | 12/11/08 9:20AM
This act is truly an assault. This should definitely be classified as a felony. What if he has HIV or Hep C? Couldn't she then contract that disease? Sicko...
Posted by: Cat | 12/15/08 1:50PM
What sick mind would do that? He's either dreadfully desperate or just angry that he is unwanted. Such a horrible assault. UGH!
Posted by: What the... | 12/16/08 10:06PM