Note to Self: Dance Lewdly at Community Center
The small mountain town of Marshall, NC has just paid a 56-year-old woman $275,000 to not dance at a community hangout.
To give you some perspective; this is more than ten times Marshall's median household income.
Rebecca Willis was accused of tripping the light fantastic while gyrating, simulating intercourse and wearing a skirt so tiny you needn't be at the top of a mountain to see her scenic vista.
Town officials said they'd "burn the place down" rather than allow her back into the club, which is housed in a refurbished train station, so ponying up hundreds of thousands of dollars in settlement money to not have the middle-aged filly dirty dance for them was seen as the smartest way to reduce visual pollution.
I'd tell you more but I gotta pack my bags and fly south for the winter. There's gold in them thar hills!
Cue: music
