Los Angeles Gaines, Our Dumb Loss
Today marks the last day at truTV and Dumb as a Blog for Dixon Gaines IV. Dixon -- or hey, you DG4, as he's known here -- is leaving of his own accord and moving to California, where he plans to find a job fighting fires or working in a restaurant; it all depends on if he looks better in a fireman's hat or a kitchen apron.
Dixon was among the most erudite people ever to walk our halls, but his Ivy League education didn't always pay-off. He wanted to produce a show called "The Smoking Gun Presents: Dumbest Hoplites of Ancient Greece," which, it turned out, tested very poorly in the coveted 18-49 male demographic.
Editing Dixon was a joy, although he often tried to slip in dirty jokes in their original Latin (Et tu, asellus?). To say "goodbye," we conducted a short debriefing interview.
Q: What was the dumbest thing you had to do on this job?
A: I think the dumbest thing would have to be when I called random diners in North Dakota and asked if most folks there called soft drinks “soda” or “pop.” It’s a worthwhile question, but I’m sure these poor waitresses were like “Who is this random weirdo from New York and why is he bothering me during lunch rush?”
Q: What was your favorite blog entry?
A: My favorite blog entry would have to be the Crazed Cow Woman story. As a former Ohioan, I know something about cow-towns and I was able to use just about every cow-related gag I could think of. Well, almost. It’s hard to work the word “ruminant” into a sentence.
Q: We have someone replacing you next week. Any advice?
A: There’s never a dearth of dumb in the world, but when in doubt, talk about the Jonas Brothers.
Q: Are you disappointed you’re leaving before the company gives out flu shots?
A: I’m slightly disappointed, but I’m more sad to leave before the holiday party. Working for a large, multinational conglomerate, one of the perks is a nice spread come December, but I have to amscray before the open bar and the fancy canapés. Bummer.
Q: Before this job you worked at Vintage Books. What is the biggest difference between working at a publisher and a TV network?
A: Well, at this job, I don’t think anyone has been chewed out and humiliated by Oprah, so that’s certainly a nice plus.
Q: You’re moving to Los Angeles. Do you think you’ll be able to find any dumbness in the City of Angels?
A: I think there’s an overstock of dumb in LA. In the land of the surfer dude and the valley girl, I think they mail dumb directly to you, like a tax rebate made of stupid.
Farewell, Dixon. Now who's going to be able to understand my Strangers with Candy references? Everyone's just going to think I'm an unusually rude bigget.
Posted by: Kyle | 11/02/08 9:20AM