Los Angeles Gaines, Our Dumb Loss
Today marks the last day at truTV and Dumb as a Blog for Dixon Gaines IV. Dixon -- or hey, you DG4, as he's known here -- is leaving of his own accord and moving to California, where he plans to find a job fighting fires or working in a restaurant; it all depends on if he looks better in a fireman's hat or a kitchen apron.
Dixon was among the most erudite people ever to walk our halls, but his Ivy League education didn't always pay-off. He wanted to produce a show called "The Smoking Gun Presents: Dumbest Hoplites of Ancient Greece," which, it turned out, tested very poorly in the coveted 18-49 male demographic.
Editing Dixon was a joy, although he often tried to slip in dirty jokes in their original Latin (Et tu, asellus?). To say "goodbye," we conducted a short debriefing interview.
Q: What was the dumbest thing you had to do on this job?
A: I think the dumbest thing would have to be when I called random diners in North Dakota and asked if most folks there called soft drinks “soda” or “pop.” It’s a worthwhile question, but I’m sure these poor waitresses were like “Who is this random weirdo from New York and why is he bothering me during lunch rush?”
Q: What was your favorite blog entry?
A: My favorite blog entry would have to be the Crazed Cow Woman story. As a former Ohioan, I know something about cow-towns and I was able to use just about every cow-related gag I could think of. Well, almost. It’s hard to work the word “ruminant” into a sentence.
Q: We have someone replacing you next week. Any advice?
A: There’s never a dearth of dumb in the world, but when in doubt, talk about the Jonas Brothers.
Q: Are you disappointed you’re leaving before the company gives out flu shots?
A: I’m slightly disappointed, but I’m more sad to leave before the holiday party. Working for a large, multinational conglomerate, one of the perks is a nice spread come December, but I have to amscray before the open bar and the fancy canapés. Bummer.
Q: Before this job you worked at Vintage Books. What is the biggest difference between working at a publisher and a TV network?
A: Well, at this job, I don’t think anyone has been chewed out and humiliated by Oprah, so that’s certainly a nice plus.
Q: You’re moving to Los Angeles. Do you think you’ll be able to find any dumbness in the City of Angels?
A: I think there’s an overstock of dumb in LA. In the land of the surfer dude and the valley girl, I think they mail dumb directly to you, like a tax rebate made of stupid.
