Jesus Perez, pictured, crashed into six parked cars early Monday morning, removed the license plates and walked away from his vehicle, according to police in Springfield, MA.
And how did cops crack this case so quickly? Perez, 26, allegedly removed a case of beer from his trunk that dropped and cracked as he made his getaway. Sgt. John M. Delaney said they simply, "followed the trail of broken beer bottles" to find their suspect.
In any event, he is charged with operating under the influence of alcohol, leaving the scene of a property damage accident and operating after
suspension.
MTV plays episodes nonstop... They've been on every major late night talk show... They've inspired countless YouTube parodies...And now, the cast of Jersey Shore has brought about the inevitable: a minor league baseball theme night.
On July 21, the Brooklyn Cyclones will host "Jersey? Sure!" night. If the smoldering picture on the website of Sandy the Seagull's head Photoshopped onto The Situation's abs isn't enough to lure you to the game, how about these details for the event:
The first 2,500 attendees will receive a "high quality mesh" jersey with the words "Jersey? Sure!" above a picture of a fist-pumping Sandy on it
There will be "Dugout Dance Battles" between innings
Stylists will be offering free blowouts to fans (fingers crossed that Pauly D will be involved)
Lucky winners will receive "Gym, tan, laundry" giveaway packs
aaaaaaaaand last but not least,
Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino may just make an appearance as he's being offered a tryout to snag a spot on the Cyclones roster
Apparently, Mike recently lied and said he had been the backup third baseman for the Cyclones. Mike? Lie? No way!!!!!!!
You can bet the Staten Island Yankees are kicking themselves for not thinking of this.
It's almost time for the Winter Olympics, and when it comes to sports played on ice, I prefer hockey to figure skating. Except when the figure skaters fall down. I can't get enough of that. I would go ahead and assume that's what happened here, but luckily, it's not up to me to make sense of this picture, that's your job!
Enter your best caption to this photo in the comments section below, and if it is judged to be among the best, it will be reprinted next week along with several other finalists and put to an impartial vote. To the winner will go a brand new Dumb As A Blog T-Shirt, which to it's credit, is far less ridiculous-looking than most figure skating outfits.
For examples of past winners, you can check out our previous contests, but for now, let's see those captions!
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Marilyn's on Monroe, a Toledo, OH "men's entertainment club," donated their $10 cover charge to earthquake relief and dubbed it "Lap Dances for Haiti." They say they Saturday's striptacular netted $1000 to help the Haitian people.
The Associated Press has the story so it's everywhere today. Of course it is. "Lap Dances for Haiti" is hilarious. Also, the manager the club is named Soprano, so it's got that going for it too.
Only the Toledo Blade article mentions one little fact that kind of takes the awesome out of the story: Lap dances are illegal in Ohio. For reals.
If fact, the lady you see on the left is one of four dancers arrested almost one year ago in the Buckeye State for allegedly offering $5 lap dances. To see all the dancers (and one woman arrested for allegedly letting a dancer touch her breasts) click here.
First off, who are the lucky officers who got that undercover assignment? The "let's go out for a drink and see if women take off their clothes in a nightclub" beat sounds like a cakewalk to me. Secondly, $5 lap dances? Such a bargain! What would they charge if it was legal, 25 cents?
Kiki the cross dresser recently appeared on 1000 Ways to Die on Spike TV to give his expert opinion on men who dress as women.
Only he wasn't really a transvestite.
He was comedian and self-proclaimed "infiltrator" Harmon Leon, who got the gig after answering an ad on Craigslist for a TV show seeking a cross dresser. He responded to a few emailed questions and voila! With a borrowed dress and a peck of cosmetics from Walgreens the cameras rolled. He delivered his "expert" opinion while wearing a "cross-dressing Frankenstein concoction." He earned $300 for his thoughts.
Well, it's time again to pick the week's Dumbest Criminal. Two of the folks you have to choose from are, or should I say, were part of the long arm of the law. Now, their alleged dumb moves have stripped them of their unis. Are one of them this week's dumbest? Well, only you can decide. And you only have one week. So vote now!
Authorities became suspicious when dozens of ticketed drivers started to lose their licenses and complain they didn’t know anything about the citations. Many were able to prove that they were somewhere else at the time.
Over 200 traffic citations Lawrence issued since November have been dismissed and the FHP has set-up a central hotline for people filing complaints regarding phony tickets.
Lawrence, 38, is charged with 22 counts of official misconduct. He has been put on administrative duty pending termination.
Oooh, James Provan makes some sexy stop-motion pancakes. But sorry ladies, the metric measures and the golden syrup tell me his flapjacks are across the pond.
A Sullivan County, TN sheriff’s deputy is in the doghouse, both literally and figuratively, after getting arrested on a drunken driving charge.
A Florida Highway Patrol officer reportedly found Samuel Bledsoe, pictured, vomiting in his car with a blown out tire on Friday night. The trooper said Bledsoe could barely stand and he had to explain a field sobriety test to him 18 times. He ultimately failed.
Meanwhile, according to the report, Bledsoe was trying to explain to the trooper he was a fellow officer, and demanded a ride home.
Occasionally, though the course of my required duties as a scribe for Dumb As A Blog, I find myself viewing photographs and videos of women in various states of undress. I do this not for some prurient thrill, but to bring you the very BEST the internet has to offer. The web is a vast and deep ocean, you see, and to return from its depths with a handful of pearls, you have to spend a little time in the thick, dark mud where the oysters live.
I'm fairly certain you know what I'm talking about here.
Kiely may be losing his job soon for indiscretions that included looking at mostly nude photos of supermodel Miranda Kerr on his computer. In and of itself, this wouldn't be terrible except for the fact that he was doing so directly behind a colleague who was ON TELEVISION.
Here's video of the incident. The fun starts around the 1:06 mark, right over Martin Lakos' right shoulder.
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