Holiday Jeer November 23, 2009 3:51 PM | permalink

Bah Humbug!

A Fort Pierce, FL man is being called Scrooge after he destroyed nearly $4,000 worth of Christmas decorations this weekend, according to police.

Officers busted Bryan K. Cooler, pictured, while he was allegedly on a holiday decoration destruction rampage at the Sabal Palm Plaza shopping center in St. Lucie Saturday night.  When cops showed up, Cooker quickly surrendered--but he refused to explain whether this was a random act of mischief or he had a specific anger issue with Christmas.

He’s charged with felony criminal mischief with property damage of $1,000 or more.

I say the real crime here is that Christmas decorations are already up, and it’s not even Thanksgiving.

Pulling Your Kid's Loose Tooth 2.0 November 23, 2009 12:51 PM | permalink

Chewing gum, biting into an apple, or the old tying one end of a string to your tooth, and the other to a door knob and slamming it: these are the methods of pulling out loose grinders that have been enjoyed passed on, and keeping the tooth fairy in business from generation to generation.

But, apparently, those simple tricks weren’t good enough for one family, who instead had to employ a radio controlled car, a cat and some pretty slick videography to remove their little girl’s chomper. 
Blame technology, blame the” You Tube,” craze, blame boredom. I blame dumb parents.

So, I want to know what you think.  Are those parents dumb or clever?

Dumb Or Clever: 'No Thanks, I'm Note Hungry' Guy November 23, 2009 11:37 AM | permalink

John Ford, 35, was arrested in Cleveland last Thursday after allegedly walking into a bank and giving a teller a note demanding money. Police say Ford's car matched the description of the getaway vehicle, and that inside the automobile was an exploded dye pack from the bank. What they didn't find was the note he wrote demanding money.

A look at the dashboard video camera reveals that Ford may have destroyed some evidence. Take a look:

He seems to devour a slip of paper (unless that's a frosted Pop-Tart cut neatly in half) as the cops are all over him. It looks to me that if it wasn't for the dashboard camera, no one would have been the wiser. But should he have known he was on camera? What do you think America?

John Ford: Dumb or Clever?

RELATED: If you want to know what an note demanding money from a bank tastes like, I'm afraid we can't help you, especially with this Eggo shortage on. But if you want to see what REAL bank robbery notes look like, check out this post we wrote about them here.  

We Want You--To Vote For Dumb Criminal Of Week! November 20, 2009 5:22 PM | permalink

A whopping 3,000 truTV Dumb Blog fans exercised their rights to vote for the Dumbest Criminal last week. So who won? The vain Matthew Maynard of Wales.  He didn’t like his mugshot so he mailed a new one into police, and then got clipped while getting clipped.  But he looked good while doing it.

Now, we have a whole new week’s worth of dumb crooks to choose from, pictured at the left. So take your pick, and remember they are all losers. Polls will be open for one week only! :

MONDAY: Check Is Someplace Stranger Than Mail

TUESDAY: Cops Say Pot Dealer Booked

WEDNESDAY: Knock, Knock, Who's There?

THURSDAY: A Bad House Call

FRIDAY: Bust Me Once, Shame On Me. Bust Me Twice Shame You?

 

BECAUSE JOINING truTV STUFF = EXCELLENT

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Bust Me Once, Shame On Me. Bust Me Twice, Shame on You? November 20, 2009 4:44 PM | permalink

Once apparently just wasn’t enough for a New Holland, PA woman.

Police say 10 minutes after Cynthia Irene Locke, 25, was released after being charged with shoplifting, she walked back into the same store and tried to steal again.

Locke and her boyfriend Jeremiah Shane Barr, 32, were charged with retail theft at 11:20 am on Wednesday at the Walmart store in Ephrata.  They were immediately released.

The duo had allegedly torn tags off of more than $100 worth of goods and tried to get them out of the store in a stolen purse.

About two hours later, the same police officer was walking back into the store  when employees notified him the lady was at it again.

This time, Locke allegedly tried to pinch $5 worth of make-up.  She was charged with another count of retail theft.

Now, you tell me who’s the real dummy?  Wait for it… because the officer released her a second time.

Friends Don't Let Friends Drink and Dance November 20, 2009 1:26 PM | permalink

It’s the Dumb as a Blog weekend PSA.

The dangers of drinking and dancing.  Just Say No.

Oh so many different things can go wrong and gone are the days when your moonwalk attempts and lap dancing escapades only live on in acid flashbacks. 

Everyone has a video camera these days, and someone is bound to catch you doing something obscene.  So please take a few minutes to watch this video before you knock a few back at your cousin Barry’s bar mitzvah or Sister Sue’s wedding.  You'll thank us Monday morning.

 

The ridiculous thing is; you know someone still took her home at the end of the night.

The 'Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better' Video Dump November 20, 2009 1:13 PM | permalink

This week’s video round-up is dedicated to the winners, those who excel at what they do.  Even if we would never dare do what they do.

Ah, the art of cup stacking, If the world doesn’t end in 2012, I see a new Olympic sport on the horizon.  All I can say is “Oh my gosh!”

I am less impressed by this faux surprise. And now officially deaf.  Move over Halle Berry.

I am, however, always impressed by people who are in touch with who they really are. And strangely enough, may see a double-wide in my future, and I'm not talking about my pants.

This bulldog must’ve been weaned on a skateboard.  Or pot. Or both.

And I always like to include a little how-to, so here’s a video that will help you win that next wheel-barrow race your entered into.

Finally, a mascot that just may have more talent than the team her reps.  Do you think if Mr. Met could do that, we could make the playoffs?

It's Getting Cold In Here November 20, 2009 9:59 AM | permalink

Is this radio ad clever because I remembered it long enough to blog it, or dumb because I decided to blog it? Let me know what you think in the comments.

A Bad House Call November 19, 2009 5:26 PM | permalink

A Des Moines, IA couple was charged with burglary for forcing open a door and entering a house they thought was their own.

The excuse? A tale as old as time itself: “We were drunk.”

 Shantel Diane Morrison, 31, and 30-year old Joshua Aaron Pray (pictured) allegedly claimed they were so pickled that they picked the wrong house after coming home from a night of partying.

Javier Pagannazario and his wife discovered the couple in their home early Sunday morning; Pray was passed out on the couch and Morrison was upstairs half-undressed, according to police.  Both of them ran from the residence soon after being discovered. Ah, good times.  Good times. 

Police say they traced the pair through the license plate of the van the couple used to drive away.
Pagannazario, who claims $900 is missing from his wallet, doesn't believe the incident can be explained away by a drunken mistake.  Clearly Mr. Pagannazario doesn't have a relationship with alcohol.

Morrison and Pray have been charged with second-degree burglary, which carries a 10-year prison term.

Another Good Reason To Read Dumb As A Blog November 19, 2009 3:18 PM | permalink

There are lots of reasons to read this blog. We have a caption contests, dumb criminals,  we keep you up to date on breaking Eggo Waffle shortages and even have posts devoted to both werewolves and vampires for all you Twilight devotees. 

But say for some reason, none of those reasons were compelling enough for you. What if you came up to me and said "Hey Ritch, that's all well and good, but what does your silly Dumb Blog have for a guy like me, who just wants to hang out in my indoor marijuana farm that is located a mere 25 feet from a police station?"

Good question, hypothetical guy who runs an indoor marijuana farm!

If by any chance you are one of the people who currently have warrants out on them for actually running an indoor marijuana farm in Los Angeles, a mere 25 feet from a police station, Dumb As A Blog might have spared you the legal jeopardy you are now in. How you ask?

Because we JUST WROTE ABOUT ANOTHER GUY who got busted for the same thing last week. Had you checked out our blog, you might have known that what you were doing was dumb, and you should probably knock it off before it's too late. So for all the rest of you dummies out there who have indoor marijuana farms next door to police stations, do yourselves a favor and knock it off, because you will get caught.

And don't say we never did anything for you, OK?