Porn and Politics November 17, 2008 3:59 PM | permalink

Election fever may have passed here in the States, but  a group of pro-sex Australians are putting the heat back up in politics. Their name? The Australian Sex Party. Their slogan? "We're Serious About Sex."

Fiona Patten, the party's founder, says the government has an "absolute fear of the word 'sex.'" The group's main target is the government's decision to place a mandatory filter on the internet, a move which Patten feels will damage the porn industry.

Other Australian Sex Party platforms include a national sex education curriculum and censorship reduction. 

Find out more: http://www.sexparty.org.au/

'Somebody Call A...Somebody Call Me!' November 17, 2008 11:41 AM | permalink

Thieves in Oslo broke into Norway's police headquarters this weekend and stole several computers. This isn't the first time this year that we've brought you news of a break-in at a European police station, and it's becoming quite a problem. The moment the crime is discovered, the officers at the scene immediately pick up the phone to call the police, and are dismayed when they get a busy signal. 

At least here in America, when a European breaks into a police station, you don't find yourself blaming the dumb cops, that's for sure.

You Had A Bad Day November 17, 2008 10:47 AM | permalink

Any loser can get arrested for a dumb crime. But it takes a special kind of idiot to be booked by cops twice in 28 hours for being stupid.

Say hello to Donald L. Johnson.

The 42-year-old New York state man was arrested Thursday night after he had reported that a safe had been stolen from his garage. Police say they recovered the lockbox and found it had been taken by a man with whom Johnson was getting high. They also say the it contained three ounces of marijuana.

After taking Friday afternoon off, Johnson again incurred the watchful eye of local authorities early Saturday morning when they noticed him driving a lawnmower. With his buddy on the hood. In the middle of Glens Falls. At 12.09am. On his way to a pub in order to sell the vehicle. After he allegedly had been drinking and smoking pot.

He was charged with 10 violations, including driving while ability impaired by drugs, aggravated unlicensed operation of a motor vehicle,  driving an unregistered and uninspected motor vehicle, not using headlights and not wearing seat belts.

Frolics From Finland November 16, 2008 10:10 AM | permalink

Check out this clip from "The Smoking Gun Presents: World's Dumbest" in which Finnish dudes play soccer in a muddy bog.  Then let us know; Which do you think is more twisted, naked swampball or cross-dressing swampball?

Fee Love, Baby! November 15, 2008 10:17 AM | permalink

Can a hippy dippy songstress serenade her way out of paying a ticket?  Watch and see in this clip from  "Speeders Fight Back"!

Russian Church's Fate Wholly Unorthodox November 14, 2008 4:48 PM | permalink

I'd show you a picture of the Church of the Resurrection from Central Russia near Moscow, but I can't. Nearby villagers seem to have sold it off, a brick at a time, to a local businessman. The former two-story building, last seen intact in July, went for a ruble a brick (about 4 cents). The Ivanovo-Voskresenskaya Diocese say they were planning to reopen the previously abandoned 200-year-old church for services, but had to table the idea. Still, they acknowledge if things change they could always resurrect it.

For a replica Russian Orthodox cross, be sure to check out Cross Crafter. I'm not making that up.

Dumb Criminal of the Week Vol. 20 November 14, 2008 4:20 PM | permalink

The 20th Dumb Criminal of the Week Poll welcomes you!

Last week we saw record voter turnout. With 2,104 of you participating, Mommy Dumbest got 28% of the vote and Dope Down There got 27%, making this race almost too close to call.  But since we're not going to have a recount or the Supreme Court getting up in our grill we'll call it for Mommy Dumbest!

Now check out this week's nominees and then VOTE!

Monday 11/10: Drunken Duo Fare Game Sez Cops

If the cops call a cab for your drunk a$$, don't skip out of paying the fare. 

Tuesday 11/11:  Sardines, Wieners and Smackdowns -- Oh My!

Cops say a fight ensues after woman helps herself to world's most disgusting snacks.

Wednesday 11/12: Pray For Florida's Dumb Soul

Man allegedly drinks a case of beer, pees on church and blacks out.

Thursday 11/13: Dopey Karaoke

This story is a bit like "American Idol" meets "American Gladiator."

Friday 11/14: What a Card!

When you break into a house, don't leave your business card.

***

Vote now!

What a Card! November 14, 2008 2:29 PM | permalink

Damon Bonnell, 31, allegedly broke into a woman's home and, surprised to find her there, told her he was selling a car.  When the homeowner said she wasn't interested in the vehicle, he claimed he fixed computers and handed her a business card, according to police in Hillsborough County, NH.

Cagey detectives followed the name and address on the card and arrested Bonnell on burglary charges.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say this story  will not bechronicled on an upcoming episode of "Forensic Files." But never fear -- if there's any video evidence, you might spy it on a future edition of "The Smoking Gun Presents: World's Dumbest Criminals."

Note to Self: Dance Lewdly at Community Center November 14, 2008 10:58 AM | permalink

The small mountain town of Marshall, NC has just paid a 56-year-old woman $275,000 to not dance at a community hangout.

To give you some perspective; this is more than ten times Marshall's median household income.

Rebecca Willis was accused of tripping the light fantastic while gyrating, simulating intercourse and wearing a skirt so tiny you needn't be at the top of a mountain to see her scenic vista.

Town officials said they'd "burn the place down" rather than allow her back into the club, which is housed in a refurbished train station, so ponying up hundreds of thousands of dollars in settlement money to not have the middle-aged filly dirty dance for them was seen as the smartest way to reduce visual pollution.

I'd tell you more but I gotta pack my bags and fly south for the winter.  There's gold in them thar hills!

Cue: music

Darwin's Beard November 14, 2008 9:22 AM | permalink

Actual whiskers from the beard of the famed naturalist Charles Darwin will go on display in the London Museum of Natural History today.

The beard will be displayed to the public roughly  200 years after Darwin was born, 9,800 years after his detractors claim the earth was created by God, and from the looks of the whiskers, 128 years after the great man last enjoyed mustard. (In addition to his famous "On the Origin of Species by the Means of Natural Selection," Darwin is also widely credited as the original author of the term "flavor saver")

The beard was provided by Darwin's great-great grandson who, if his ancestor's theory is correct, is somehow better prepared to survive in the 21st century thanks to his highly evolved inability to ever throw anything away.