Being a minor league mascot has got to be one of the most unrewarding jobs on the planet. In the case of "Monkey Boy" it's not only demoralizing but it's also very dangerous. Watch this punk teenager clothes-line the unsuspecting performer in this clip from truTV Presents: World's Dumbest.
1. Charles was not afraid to stand up for the beverage he believes in. (via thedailywhat)
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Taco shell shocked The mayor of East Haven, Connecticut made headlines earlier this week after offhandedly telling a reporter that one way he might support the Latino community in the face of allegations of discrimination would be to "have tacos" for dinner. He apologized for the comments, but thanks to a Latino activist group, at this writing, more than 500 tacos have been delivered to the mayor's office. [CNN]
Chicka-Chick-Awww The Internet got all excited by this teaser trailer, which appears to feature Matthew Broderick returning to his iconic role of Ferris Bueller. But hold on, according to Jalopnik, the automaker Honda is behind the clip, and it is supposedly a teaser for a Super Bowl ad. The ad reportedly features a scene replacing the classic Ferrari from the film with a Honda. One look at the comments section will tell you, THE FANS ARE NOT PLEASED. [Jalopnik]
Crash course A teacher is caught sleeping on the job by a student with a cell phone. Horrible right? So what should they do about it? Suspend the student, of course. [KOCO.com]
Slip of dreams Never let go, Jack. Never let go.OK- let go. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!! [Slate]
Tomb raider Hey remember that scene from Storage Hunters where they found whale poop in a storage locker? This is worse. [HuffPost Weird]
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A Capella music and Dubstep are two of the most annoying forms of musical expression. Whoever thought of putting them together should be brought up on torture charges by the United Nations.
This is a deadly combination. A Capella music is for musicians who desperately want to get into the music business, but can't play an instrument to save their life. Dubstep was created to allow those who are tone deaf to write and produce songs. These guys should expect a call from the CIA any day now.
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A sad sap in Brooklyn is offering $500 to someone (anyone, really) who is willing teach him everything they know about football, specifically, what a quarterback does. And as with most dumb ideas dreamt up by desperate dudes, it's so he can impress a chick.
According to the hilarious Craigslist ad, our feeble-minded football non-fan is going to his girlfriend's ex-boyfriend's Super Bowl party. The dreaded ex thinks our friend played quarterback in college, which was a lie he told in order to impress his girlfriend. Why this guy is hanging out with his lady and her ex is just creepy in itself; three's a crowd, dude. Our Craigslist pal even — get this — wants the lucky football connoisseur to text him a few good lines to say during the actual Giants/Patriots game next weekend. I can just see this guy getting his instructional texts, "Look at Tom Brady hit that home run! Let's hope he doesn't fumble that field goal, guys, seriously. C'mon, DEFENSE LeBron James!"
Desperate Boyfriend To Offer $500 For Pre-Super Bowl Football Lessons
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These guys decided to perform a mock exorcism on their sleeping friend by chanting and throwing water in his face. Instead of ridding him of demonic possession they made him fly into a naked, guitar-smashing rage. Check it out in this clip from truTV Presents: World's Dumbest.
Cat people scare me. Sure, pet owners of any species can take loving their beloved animals too far (some actually require the services of a lawyer), but cat lovers seem to have an dose of crazy in their DNA. You never hear about a neighborhood's "crazy gerbil lady," do you?
This, however, would be over the line for even the most ardent cat lover. Although I secretly suspect that they do this in their homes. They just have the good sense not to record it on an iPhone and let someone else post it to the web. The only reason I can fathom for why they would think posting this video is a good idea is because their cat doesn't own an iPhone and can't post it on their Facebook page.
[via Break]
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Hope and (a big chunk of) change A 2005 Chrysler that was leased by President Obama when he was still a Senator has been put on eBay with an opening bid of one million dollars. That's a lot of scratch for a car whose ashtray is overflowing with cigarette butts. [CNN Money]
Tiene huevos Some people believe that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Here's some great news for people who don't think that. [Orange County Register]
Brit-head Nothing like the "I'm an idiot" defense, provided for your enjoyment today by Harry Redknapp, the manager of a British soccer team. [BBC]
H_PPY HO_R Pat Sajak was drunk while hosting Wheel of Fortune. Judge if you want, but could you get up every morning and do that guy's job sober? I couldn't. [Marquee Blog]
I'd get hit by that Getting slapped in the face is no fun. Getting slapped in the face by a naked woman? That's a harder call. [Huff Post Weird]
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Miley Cyrus recently celebrated boyfriend Liam Hemsworth's birthday by pretending to lick a massive, chocolate-frosted penis cake... on camera. Why her boyfriend had a giant ding-dong at his party is besides the point.
The 19-year-old "role model" has been out-of-control for years — prancing about in public in skimpy outfits, taking provacative photos, pole dancing at the Teen Choice Awards and smoking "salvia" from a bong (again, on camera). Billy Ray admits he's not the brightest parent in the box, but it shouldn't take a genius to know that Miley could have used a little discipline.
Miley Cyrus Eats Liam Hemsworth's Penis Cake Like A Pro
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Some people can get obnoxiously smug over of the dumbest stuff. For instance — you might pride yourself on steering clear of The Hunger Games trilogy or Florence + The Machine's new album, because those things are currently considered "cool" and "popular." This officially makes you one of those annoying folks who only likes obscure crap that no one's ever heard of.
Well, news flash! You're an idiot for patting yourself on the back over any one of these 7 stupid things that make people proud, including purposely disliking something just because it's mainstream.
And yes, those are Pizza Rolls. You can't have any.
The 7 Stupidest Things That Make People Proud
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