Dumb News: Leonardo DiCaprio eats soup: A NATION REACTS May 18, 2012 5:30 PM | permalink

Super Bowl I do not exaggerate when I say this will be the most entertaining 300 words you will read all year...about Leonardo DiCaprio eating soup.[Videogum]

Status Symbol Oh, is THAT what you did today, Mark? Cool. Good to know. [Facebook]

Poor Little Bastards Tennessee man asks for a break on child support after fathering 30 children with 11 different women. He explains: "I had four kids in the same year, twice." [WREG]

Club Kids Lazy harp seal has no job.  [YouTube]

Oh, Snap Oh, look an alligator. No worries, I HAVE A TOWEL. [BroBible]

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Facebook Fails: 15 of the dumbest status updates ever May 18, 2012 4:30 PM | permalink

If Facebook required a second grade multiple choice quiz in order to start an account, there would be a lot less people on Facebook. Here are some of the dumbest Facebook status updates this week:

1. Or maybe she just accidently stepped on it because your laptop was ON THE FLOOR! (via awkwardfacebook.com)

Continue reading "Facebook Fails: 15 of the dumbest status updates ever" »

Best of WTF Tumblr: 15 photos that will make you ROFL May 18, 2012 3:30 PM | permalink

1. It's Friday. Let your balls hang low and your mullet flow in the wind. (via superzflowers)

Continue reading "Best of WTF Tumblr: 15 photos that will make you ROFL" »

Watch this fat guy protest restaurant's all-you-can-eat-policy May 18, 2012 12:00 PM | permalink

The giant 6'6" 350 lbs. land mammal at the center of this news report is Bill Wisth and he's angry with Chuck's Place for not letting him eat all the fish he wanted. The resturant claimed they were running out of food when Wisth was cut off during the all-you-can-eat fish Friday, after he ate a dozen pieces of fish Apparently, they didn't anticipate having enough food to feed a guy with the appetite of a water buffalo. 

It turns out that Wisth now sees himself as a champion of consumer rights and is staging his own one-man protest against the restaurant. He even returned with a poorly constructed picket sign that he probably slapped together using a piece of cardboard from his emergency box of hot pockets. Wisth plans on protesting the restaurant every Sunday until they rethink their unjust actions. 

He'd probably protest on Friday but that's their all-you-can-eat fish day and there's no way he's missing that!

[Huffington Post]

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The douchiest passive-aggressive breakup text we've read this week May 18, 2012 11:00 AM | permalink

This toolbag not only begged a chick for a second date, but when she kindly responded that she felt no connection, he had the audacity to send an "accidental" text to his bro ranting about her "average" looks.

I call mega BS. He has an iPhone. Did he just so happen to miss the prior texts in the feed? And what kind of guy gives his dude friends that much detail about a lackluster first date? Read the redonkulous text messages in full, and judge for yourself.

Oh, and he wore a fedora to their Avengers movie date. That right there alone makes him King Douchopotamus.

The Most Embarrassing Text Message Mishaps

[AskMen]

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Dumb News: Will Smith's son asks the President about aliens May 17, 2012 4:20 PM | permalink

Kids Say The Darndest Dumbest Things If you got one chance to ask the most powerful man in the world anything at all, what would it be? 13-year-old Jaden Smith wanted to know about aliens. [PopWatch]

Wheely Dumb I know what you're going to say. Everyone on Wheel of Fortune is dumb. But this lady is a little moreso. [YouTube]

Unappealing Here's that "banana wearing a trucker's cap" you ordered. [Brock Davis]

Money For Nothing The Kardashian phenomenon explained, with music and stick figure puppets. They poop gold, you see. [YouTube]

The opposite of "cupcake best" The question isn't WHY did someone stuff cupcake batter into a sausage casing to create "cupcake-wurst" it's WHY DID THEY WAIT SO LONG? [Foodbeast]

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POLL: Have you read Fifty Shades of Grey, and if so, is it as dumb as it sounds? May 17, 2012 1:30 PM | permalink

It can't be ignored any longer. Everywhere I turn — moms, non-moms, some of my dude friends, lady magazines, SNL — are raving about this romance novel (aka the so-called mommy porn), Fifty Shades of Grey.

WTF? I don't get it. Why a book that's in a genre frequented by grandmas worldwide is sweeping the nation is flabbergasting. And a book that's not even that good, for that matter — the author herself is shocked by the Shades success, quoted as saying, "I'm not a great writer."

Have you read the book? Is it dumb? It sounds dumb. I'm still debating going Grey, but might go rent a porn instead.

Fifty Shades: The 'Mommy Porn' Book That's Sweeping The Suburbs

[The Frisky]

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Facebook Fails: 5 of the dumbest status updates ever May 17, 2012 12:00 PM | permalink

If Facebook required a second grade multiple choice quiz in order to start an account, there would be a lot less people on Facebook. Here are some of the dumbest Facebook status updates this week:

1. There are some mysteries man was just never meant to solve. (via onetrue12.tumblr.com)

Continue reading "Facebook Fails: 5 of the dumbest status updates ever" »

That awkward moment when your wedding vows mention your raging boner May 17, 2012 11:00 AM | permalink

Getting married in front of 300 of your closest friends and family can be as awkward as it gets. But throwing in some overly personal details during the wedding vows (like your extreme hard-on) just makes it ridiculously uncomfortable for everyone in attendance.

Lauren and Nick's wedding vows took a turn for the embarrassing thanks to their overly honest officiant, and now everyone knows the dirty truth about why Lauren really fell for Nick back in 2005... his hard-working penis, of course. Apparently, homeboy was pitching tents and bagging chicks all over the place — a modern day hero, if you will.

Awkward Wedding Moment Features Vows About Grooms Penis

[Guyism]

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Dumb News: Man to gamble daughter's college fund on Facebook stock May 16, 2012 4:30 PM | permalink

In Your Facebook The initial public offering of Facebook stock is fast approaching. Here are some of the dumber ways people are dealing with it. [Business Insider]

Pulp Friction The John Travolta anonymous masseuse story just got uglier. While it's not certain what will happen in the case yet, it appears unlikely this story has a happy ending. [HuffPost Weird]

I Get It, He's Out No, this isn't Leslie Nielson calling balls and strikes from the movie The Naked Gun. It's much, much more over the top than that. [Busted Coverage]

Time To Drop Here's pretty much the most entertaining 14 second video you'll see all day. We bring you: The Drunk Chick Fail. [FailBlog]

Little Drummer Boy I'm going to be clear here. This is not dumb. I only include a link to this video to let every other parent who is not raising their kid like this to know that THEY are dumb, and doing it wrong. [Videogum]

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