Meet 56-year-old Michelle.
Michelle lives in a three-bedroom home in Tacoma, Washington, and insists she loves to entertain and have family and friends over for dinner.
However, dinner parties have to be catered, in part because Michelle’s water recently got cut off due to “safety reasons.” This is why:
More specifically, these four things are so over-discussed on the web sometimes you have to wonder if it’s even worth going online to look at cat videos anymore.
Sports fans are known for crazy behavior. And that’s regardless of how many keg stands they did in the parking lot tailgating before the big game. Many fanatics will stop at nothing to support their team, even going so far as to shave their loyalty into a hairy masterpiece on their insane noggins.
On the upside, at least the visuals are temporary, unlike this guy’s giant Lance Armstrong calf tattoo.
OK, maybe just a portion of what you learned in kindergarten.
Don’t worry, the color red is still called “red,” and “dog” is spelled “D-O-G.” But when it comes to science, many elementary school teachers fed us a whole bunch of crap. All that milk-being-good-for-your-bones business? B.S.!
A lot of what you learned is either unproven or outright lies and here’s proof…
Sorry in advance. This story will make you never want to eat a banana again — or at least for a few days.
A British family was forced to flee their home after a woman found dozens of the world’s most venomous spiders crawling all over the banana she was about to eat. You won’t believe the horrifying story that is most definitely your worst nightmare come true:
Maybe you’ve learned to time your pee breaks perfectly between segments of Impractical Jokers. Or maybe you’re a DVR master who has never accidentally forgotten to fast-forward. If so, you’re missing out on the wonderful extra entertainment created to help sell beer, candy and toilet bowl cleaners.
But be warned: apparently, these messages can contain lies. Yes. LIES.
Check out these five fibs that advertisers expect you to believe, because, y’know, we’re all just dumb chimps staring at a moving picture box for fun.
The other half lies in making the effort to fix them: a conundrum that the dumber portion of our species chooses to ignore. (You know, the ones who wear their flaws like a badge of honor and spew crap like, “This is the way I am. If you don’t like it, you can go drown in a vat of Sriracha.”)
The rest of us who are frequently looking to turn our bad habits around often find ourselves losing an uphill battle — especially when it comes to trickier traits like… well, just go find out for yourself:
Got your eye on that hot zombie across the room? Hoping to hook up with that girl dressed as what you think is probably a character from Game of Thrones? If you’re looking to get lucky at tonight’s Halloween party, give one of these (possibly?) fail-proof Halloween pickup lines a try.
Because nothing says, “We should consider entering into an intimate relationship,” like the line, “It’s either you or this costume is giving me a boner.”
Maybe since I write for money, you’d think I’d be better at sexting, but no. Sexts often happen when I least expect them, like when autocorrect changes “phone me” to “bone me.”
Read these sexting fails and revel in the awkwardness of all of us with clean mouths…
If you’re gonna sleep with the light on tonight, it better not be because you watched a spooky flick starring Freddy Krueger, Michael Myers or Jason Voorhees.
Grow a pair and allow one of these six serial killers to scare the living daylights out of you. Their personalities were never the brainstorm of some cheeseball Hollywood hack. They’re real. Real scary. And some are really alive, like the chick who cooked her husband and tried to feed him to his own children. Luckily, she was caught and arrested shortly before dinnertime.
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