“I’ve had it with these motherf**kin’ snakes on this motherf**kin’ windshield!”
That’s pretty much what the above two
pansies Aussies said when they were greeted with a massive snake on the front of their car. Needless to say, switching on the wipers definitely didn’t help matters.
Turns out the reptile is one of the most venomous in Australia, but it still doesn’t make their girlish shrieks any more manly.
A 25-year-old woman named “Star” (no confirmation on her job as a stripper) claims to be marrying incarcerated serial killer Charles Manson. “I take it very seriously,” Star told Rolling Stone. “Charlie is my husband. Charlie told me to tell you this.”
Good ol’ “Charlie” also had a few words for Rolling Stone about this supposed engagement… see for yourself:
There’s even a term for these fecal anal-yzers — scatomancers. Meet S.S. Singh, a licensed (?) scatomancer who discusses the merits of poo and ESP in a new documentary. “The stronger the aroma, the more accurate the prediction,” Singh says.
Now exactly how does our stool serve as a link to the future? Watch, and be enlightened:
Glamour Shots. If you didn’t strike a pose with big hair and bad clothes in the ’80s or early ’90s, then you were decidedly uncool. Back in 1993, I had to beg my mom to get me a coveted session with Glamour Shots, which resulted in this gem of a photo that still haunts me to this day:
Other folks weren’t so lucky, ending up with horrid, not-so-glamorous Glamour Shots that would be mocked on the Interwebs for years to come, just like these bad boys…
These folks (who all just happen to be Russian) didn’t get the memo about how to make a good first impression, judging from their less-than-lovely profile pics. Or maybe they just think they’re really, really good-looking.
Otherwise, you’re liable to completely forget what you were doing (um, leaving a voicemail) and get sidetracked by a car wreck between a man and four rather violent elderly ladies in an Impala. Kinda like this one:
The robotic butt was created by researchers in order to train future medical professionals how to give a prostate exam. The derriere device is even connected to a video screen that features a virtual male named “Patrick.” Er, this is awkward. Nice to meet you, Patrick?
Get the full
poop scoop on the faux booty here:
When was the last time you bought your significant other a tacky fake rose in a glass tube? Chances are it was either ten minutes before she dumped your cheap ass or the last time you smoked crack together… because everyone knows that ROSES DON’T GROW IN GLASS TUBES.
Did you know those glass tube flowers are just a front that allows shady convenience stores to dip their toe in the drug market? Click below to find out all the ways your local corner market is keeping the cops on their toes.
An odd clip of a dolphin diddling a dead, headless fish is making the rounds on the Internet.
Naturally, to make sure what I was viewing was indeed the real deal, I Googled images of “dolphin penis.”
Yeah. Don’t do that. But you can watch the video!
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