Like the first time you realize that your petty problems aren’t unique? It’s a big moment when you finally understand that everyone’s life is just as crappy as your own. In fact, isn’t that really what being an adult is all about: finally seeing how life pretty much just sucks?
Check out this and other grown-up milestones that are under-appreciated…
Celebrities often illicit an unnecessarily extreme amount of love or hate. Those we despise generally earn our contempt by behaving like complete douches in the public eye. Just turn on pretty much any cable reality TV show for a good example.
Others are disliked for no real reason at all. Damn, Taylor Swift gets on my nerves. But I have no logical reasoning for spewing my hatred all over her. Except maybe for her music.
There are more beers in the world. Ones that won’t leave you in this poor man’s predicament:
But even the smartest fictional people make the occasional mistake. For instance, Tony “Iron Man” Stark was so busy saving the world, he didn’t take the time to check up on his own multibillion dollar empire. If he had, he might have caught the bad guys sooner.
See how Cracked figured this out — along with 5 other dumb mistakes:
Usually when Movember comes to a close, the beards, mustaches and unibrows go with it. There’s only one man who’s allowed to rock a face full of bush in December, and he spends most of his time with elves.
Then there’s this guy. No, his off-kilter ‘stache doesn’t go where you think it does. Rather, it’s the tail of an animal… and not a very manly one at that. Get the full peep show right here:
It’s downright scary: We now live in a world where any dimwit can fake-write the Encyclopedia and play pretend therapist thanks to Yahoo! Answers.
Especially when it comes to making whoopie. The web is stewing with shoddy sex tips, and these are the worst of the worst:
Related: 13 Dumb Sex Tips From The Internet
Maybe it’s because a lot of these fake Kris Kringles look like the last time they wore a costume was so they could play an ax murderer at a Halloween haunted house.
Meet 20 Santa impersonators who could double as boogeymen:
Rescue footage recently surfaced of 29-year-old Harrison Okene who spent three days trapped in an air pocket of a sunken ship just off the coast of Nigeria.
While searching for dead bodies, the divers came across a very live Okene. Unable to eat or drink water, he had sustained himself with the goodness of Coca Cola.
Either this is one hell of a story or one hell of a marketing ploy by the beverage giant:
Trimming the tree is tolerable. Sipping hot chocolate can be nice (as long as a bottle of Baileys is nearby). Heck, even watching Christmas Vacation 18 times can be enjoyable (er, as long as a bottle of Baileys is nearby).
On the other hand, I’d be perfectly content without having to participate in any Secret Santa exchanges. If I want an under $15 piece of crap, I can I buy it myself.
This and five other dumb holiday traditions that secretly suck:
The insane Black Friday stories keep rolling in. This latest shocker centers around two women going at it smack dab in the middle of a Philadelphia mall. A young child in a stroller watches in amazement, likely wondering why these two grown women are behaving like the kiddo’s peers. When Lady No. 2 pulls out a stun gun, all hell breaks loose. See for yourself…
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