Dumb as a Blog
Barefoot everywhere but the park
July 27, 2010 11:56 AM | permalink
We were all mortified when Britney Spears was busted by photogs making barefoot treks into a public toilet: definitely a dumb move.
Perhaps to prove no publicity is bad publicity or that Hollywood heavyweights are often doltish our pals over at The Frisky have put together a photo gallery of 20 Celebrities Gone Barefoot in Public.
Ew.
Ding-a-ling’s ransom
July 26, 2010 3:44 PM | permalink
Planning a kidnapping is definitely dumb.
But planning a kidnapping and calling a private security company to help you
carry out your plan? That’s seriously stupid. Unfortunately for Carlton Rotach, (pictured) the police in
Columbus, OH have accused him of doing just that.
After the protection company contacted the police, Detectives and SWAT officers posed as
employees and met with Rotach. During the meeting he allegedly solicited the undercover officers to kidnap
a former co-worker and hold her for ransom.
Rotach, 21, was charged with complicity to kidnapping.
Bud for Big Mac not a good trade
July 26, 2010 3:26 PM | permalink
Alexander M. Lemke, pictured, allegedly stole a car from his Palm Harbor, FL neighbor early Friday morning and headed to the nearest McDonald’s drive-through.
Only he didn’t have enough cash to satisfy his Big Mac attack so he tried to trade pot and prescription drugs for cheeseburgers, police say.
Employees called the cops and according to the police report, a collection of drugs was found in the car's center console.
Lemke, 20, is charged with grand theft of a motor vehicle, driving with a suspended license and eight drug-related charges. In short, he's not lovin’ it.
He joins the list of suspects arrested recently after run-ins at Mickey D’s, including the lady who was allegedly caught with a sandwich down her pants, the former employee who reportedly donned a panty-mask to rob a cash register and the dude who is accused of flashing his Whopper while watching porn on Wi-fi.
Let me get this straight, they catch all of those suspects, yet this fiend remains on the loose?
This conspiracy could go all the way to City Hall.
Now that’s what I call a ‘Potty Mouth’
July 26, 2010 3:10 PM | permalink
Justin Novack, 26, called Lower Saucon, PA cops last week to complain his mom tampered with his toothbrush by covering it with poop.
Deborah Woist was so annoyed her son’s bathroom hadn’t been cleaned in two months she decided to do the dirty deed herself, officers say.
The only problem? Woist admits she used her son's brush to tidy up the bowl and then put it back into its holder.
Woist, 52, was cited for harassment.
Justin, take a hint, you're 26! It’s time to find your own digs pal.
Blond wig, fake breasts no match for PA police
July 26, 2010 12:23 PM | permalink
Dennis Hawkins allegedly robbed a Swissvale, PA bank Saturday wearing a blond wig, fake breasts and clown pants.
Check out the glamour shot in the surveillance photo, left.
According to police, Hawkins' getaway plan was to carjack a vehicle belonging to an ACTUAL woman, who responded by fleeing her car, taking the keys with her and calling the cops.
Officers allegedly found Hawkins sitting in the parked car covered in red-dye that exploded when he tried to open the money.
"He would get my nomination for dumbest criminal, I think. Yeah, definitely different," said Swissvale Police Chief Greg Geppert.
Next time he should try something less conspicuous. Maybe a a Darth Vader costume?
Hawkins, 48, was charged with bank robbery.
Cast your vote for the dumbest criminal of the week!
July 23, 2010 1:01 PM | permalink
For allegedly posting bail with bogus cash then coming back to the station for a refund, our fans voted Ronald White the dumbest criminal of the week. Now take a gander at our recent batch of senseless suspects and cast your vote!
Let's review… click the links to get the full dumb 411.
MONDAY: Suspect found naked in woods visiting Grandma's house
TUESDAY: Woman arrested for putting a sandwich in her pants?
WEDNESDAY: Surf's up lock up
THURSDAY: Toilet paper trail leads cops to 'vandal'
FRIDAY: Crime spree brief for underwear 'thief'
FYI this poll is open for one week only, so limber your voting finger and get to it!
And don't forget to follow us on Twitter and Facebook — because that would be really dumb.
Crime spree brief for underwear ‘thief’
July 23, 2010 12:41 PM | permalink
Move over Hamburglar, Ronald McDonald now has to deal with the “underwear bandit.”
Sharon Lain, pictured, clasped a Spanx girdle together with paper clips over her face and donned a blonde wig to swipe cash from a McDonald’s drive-thru cash register, according to police in Midwest City, OK.
Officers questioned Lain, a former night shift manager at the same fast food eatery, after receiving a tip.
She was fired from the job a month ago and has allegedly copped to the crime.
She’s charged with second-degree burglary.
Hollywood’s nuptial numskulls
July 22, 2010 2:53 PM | permalink
I have no clue why movie stars get married. But getting hitched without a prenup??? As dumb as it gets.
Well, I guess it just explains why you don’t have to be a Rhodes Scholar to make it big in Hollywood.
And thanks to our pals over at The Frisky, you can poke fun at 10 Celebrity Couples who didn’t seek legal advice before the big day.
Sadly 9 out of 10 of them are already in Splitsville.
Sigh.
‘Robber’ locks keys in getaway car
July 22, 2010 2:50 PM | permalink
Laura Jane Murray went into a bank Wednesday afternoon, handed a teller a note demanding money, got the cash and walked away, say Davis, CA police.
She was busted, however, after rousing suspicion in a nearby parking lot.
Murray locked the keys in her car and was using a tool stolen from a nearby delivery truck to break the window, according to the police report.
Here’s where it gets dumber.
Murray is also the suspect in several nearby robberies.
She was arrested for allegedly hitting up a bank in Oroville, CA, last week.
Police there say Murray copped to the crime when she came out of the bank and saw officers trying to impound her car.
She then tried to drive away, but was caught and taken to a nearby medical center because of an illness.
She escaped from the hospital.
Murray has been charged with both crimes and is the suspect of at least one other robbery.
iStole wrong iPhone
July 22, 2010 12:07 PM | permalink
Horatio Toure, 31, was riding his bike through San Francisco, CA when he snatched a woman’s iPhone and pedaled away, say police.
The phone Toure allegedly filched was no ordinary mobile device, however. It was being used at that exact moment to demonstrate a software company’s real-time GPS tracking program geared for the police and military.
The victim used the program to give cops precise, moment-by-moment updates on the suspect's whereabouts.
Toure, 31, was captured a half-mile away.
He was charged with suspicion of grand theft and possession of stolen property.
Well, at least he won' have to go out and buy a rubber bumper.
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