For allegedly vandalizing a yoga studio, then leaving a trail of toilet paper from the crime scene back to her home, you have voted Lynda Briney THE dumbest criminal of the week.
Now it's that time of the week again, when you can peruse the mug shots and decide just who made the dumbest moves.
Let's review… click the links to get the full dumb 411.
MONDAY: Bud for Big Mac not a good trade
WEDNESDAY: Woman's ID serves faux dough
This poll is open for one week only, so do it now!
Charlie Horn, pictured, allegedly burglarized a Millersport, OH home last week, and despite him initially trying to deny it, police are convinced they have their man.
That’s because Horn, already a convicted felon, was wearing a court-ordered GPS tracking unit during his alleged crime spree.
Yes, I said a court-ordered GPS tracking unit.
Technicians were not only able to track Horn’s trip to the burglarized home, they could pinpoint his every single move inside the house, according to investigators.
The sheriff department calls the GPS tracker “remarkable technology” adding “sometimes these individuals are not thinking very clearly.”
Jerry Stanage, pictured, and two pals ran up a tab of $23.19 at the Ale House in Ocala, FL and then ran out on the bill, say police.
Unfortunately for Stanage, 28, their waitress overheard which watering hole they were hitting up next and went there to confront the three who allegedly decided to eat it and beat it.
Two of the men took off. Stanage, however, agreed to go back to the restaurant with the waitress and she called police.
Officers say Stanage appeared to be intoxicated and told them he didn’t have the dough to pay the bill. But they reportedly found $6 and plenty of credit cards in his wallet.
For some presumably dumb reason, Stanage reportedly refused to pay up, so they hauled him off to jail.
Stanage is charged with defrauding an innkeeper.
Stanage's friends are… well they're probably laughing a lot right about now.
I think we can all agree downloading child pornography onto your computer is sick.
But downloading child porn to your computer then taking it to get repaired, that’s dumb.
Unfortunately for Tyler J. Hess of Erie, PA that’s just what state police say happened.
Hess, a student at Saint Vincent College, left his laptop at a school-run computer lab, complaining it had a virus.
The only problem is the technician who examined it found explicit videos and photos of children, police say.
Yep, that will give you a virus all right.
Hess, 19, is charged with possession of child pornography. He’s due in court next month.
Well at least he learned something in college.
Rickey Sharratt of Camas, WA was found guilty of illegally off-roading and destroying state forestland earlier this year.
He was busted when his SUV got stuck in the mud.
Pretty dumb, huh?
Don’t worry it gets dumber.
A judge decided to let Sharratt choose his fate: five days of heavy-duty labor or an apologetic YouTube video.
Sharratt picked the video.
During the heavy-metal music laden apology Sharrat says, “the cost of illegal off-roading is pretty horrible.”
Only now he calls the whole thing “a bunch of baloney” and says he just “thought it was just an easier route to go”.
Sharratt, 29, also claims the jurors who convicted him are “all a bunch of tree-hugging hippies.”
The judge defended his sentence, saying he “thought it would be more therapeutic” for him.
I guess that was a dumb decision.
Salisbury, NC police went to the home of Rashedia Woodberry after both Pizza Hut and Domino's complained she used counterfeit cash to pay for her food deliveries.
When officers asked to see Woodberry's identification, they say she reached into her pocket and a fake $20 bill popped right out.
Woodberry, pictured, then told the officer “take me to jail,” according to the police report.
They did. She is charged with two counts of obtaining property by false pretenses.
When Evansville, IL police accused Thomas Whitmer with selling prescription pain pills and meth from his home they got a pretty dumb response.
“Well, you’re half right,” Whitmer, pictured, told officers, according to the police report.
And it appears he was telling the truth.
Investigators say they found dozens of pain pills and anti-anxiety medication in his house, but no meth amphetamine.
The report also says he told the cops he got the drugs from “everybody and anybody.”
Whitmer, 61, was arrested and is being held without bond.
St. Petersburg, FL police now say Dwayne Davis, Jr. is the guy here on a store surveillance video shown grabbing a man out of his car and pistol whipping him on June 12.
So how did officers finally figure out this man’s identity you ask? Was it the police force’s crackerjack investigative team that painstakingly solved the crime?
Nah. Davis accidentally turned himself. He allegedly called police to ask why he was on a TV news station in a surveillance video featuring unsolved criminal cases.
The station was running a story on crimes police were trying to solve in the area, and Davis reportedly phoned the fuzz to find out why his picture was part of the story.
Davis didn't call to ask us why he wasn't our Dumb Criminal on Friday, but he should have, because that's when the story hit the web and we didn't find it until today.
There are at least 84,000 ways I can imagine trying to pass off counterfeit $100 bills.
Getting my picture taken at a cheesy keepsake photography studio is not one of them.
Clearly this gang has different priorities.
Seaside, OR police are now trying to track down the identities of these folks who allegedly passed over faux funds to pay for this pic.
I really needed a good laugh today and thanks to mediatakeout.com. I got it.
Check out this invitation for a Florida toddler’s first birthday party.
And since that soiree happened last August, I, for one, can’t wait to see this year’s invite.
We should set her up on a play date with the infant whose mother makes her wear a lacefront wig.
They can "pop some bottles" together, no?
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