Attorneys think they’re so smart, and why wouldn’t they? Charging over $1,000 an hour to explain incomprehensible laws to moronic Americans would make anyone feel clever. But being an attorney has its dumb moments, and they are legion. We asked real life legal eagle Ben* what the stupidest things are about being a lawyer. From idiotic clients to incomprehensible laws to the guy who sued the fiancé who wouldn’t marry him, our 30-year-old Midwest attorney reveals all the legal dumbness.
What kind of attorney are you?
I do a little bit of everything in a smaller firm. Divorces, bankruptcy, setting up businesses, drafting contracts, civil litigation.
Are people generally dumb concerning the law?
I think so. People generally know criminal law pretty well – because popular culture has done a good job giving everyone a base understanding of how that system works – but when it comes to things that more directly effect people, they have no clue. Clients come in thinking that their idea of what’s fair is generally consistent with the law, which is rarely the case. I’ve had to explain to people that run million dollar businesses that they need an estate plan because “my family knows what I want to happen when I die” is not legally sufficient. Family law is another area in which people are generally clueless. Most people have no idea what they are entitled to in a divorce, and once they find out, an amicable divorce turns into a blood feud.
Bettie is a real-life dominatrix. Based in Dallas, Texas, the 23-year-old philosophy student has spent the last three years making a living beating the crap out of submissive men. She took time away from spanking to speak with us about her very unusual job.
Here, she shares the dumbest things about being a dominatrix.
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