Dumb as a Blog
NASA draws penis on Mars: PHOTO
April 25, 2013 11:52 AM | permalink
Posted by Susie
Hey look — the Mars Rover drew a penis on the red planet!
It was an accident. A hilarious accident.
Spotted by an immature Reddit user, this photo will eclipse all the amazing science that went into constructing and launching this incredible piece of technology onto another planet.
We put a man on the moon.
And a penis on Mars.
We are awesome.
Read more: NASA’s Mars Rover Drew a Giant Dong on the Surface of Mars
New 100 dollar bills that are way better than the new 100 bill
April 24, 2013 12:15 PM | permalink
Posted by Susie
According to the Wall Street Journal, this newly redesigned $100 bill you see above will go into circulation on Oct. 8. It’s said to have security features that’ll make it harder for counterfeiters to reproduce. It was supposed to go into circulation back in 2011 but the newfangled ribbon had issues — they basically had a two-year paper jam.
So yeah, the new bill has some fancy 3-D something or other. But it’s kind of dull and won’t deter people enough so I designed some bills that will stop counterfeiters in their tracks… check them out:
This design will deter people because it’s super embarrassing. People would be all like, “What, you’re hot for Ben Franklin? Ewwww.” No one would want to carry this one let alone copy it.
This next one is a no brainer:
Continue reading “New 100 dollar bills that are way better than the new 100 bill” »
Best dumb Earth Day stuff
April 23, 2013 1:01 PM | permalink
Posted by Susie
Yesterday I was off the dumb beat because I helped over 400 kids plant over 400 flowers in a reading garden near our local public elementary school.
I was supposedly running the event, although really, I was working no harder than all the others who showed up yesterday to help with this massive Earth Day effort.
It was great getting the kids out and teaching them about the wonders of nature. At left, those are the bulbs I helped the same 400 kids put in the school’s raised beds back in December. We put them in the ground super late due to Superstorm Sandy, and I had to throw out a pair of shoes because of all the cat poo I stepped in cleaning up the garden before the plant.
Yes, Earth Day is so freakin’ worthy. But there’s fun to be had.
First, you gotta love this: Earth Day FAIL: Honest Third Grader Shows What Was Really Learned (PHOTO).
Then there’s this comedy genius from a late, great comedian:
Continue reading “Best dumb Earth Day stuff” »
Modern Art Desserts: For those who like it sweet, difficult and a little bit pretentious
April 16, 2013 10:36 AM | permalink
Posted by Susie
That’s a Mondrian Cake at left, darling, didn’t you recognize it?
Yes a beautiful new book by Caitlin Freeman called Modern Art Desserts: Recipes for Cakes, Cookies, Confections, and Frozen Treats Based on Iconic Works of Art goes the extra mile to make someone feel like an idiot when you serve them dessert.
From a Fritsch Ice Cream Sandwich to a Koons White Hot Chocolate (to many treats that ref stuff that’s way more obscure) the recipes seem made to delight five people who work at MOMA and everyone taking an art history survey class.
Well good for them. BUT…
Continue reading “Modern Art Desserts: For those who like it sweet, difficult and a little bit pretentious” »
Justin Bieber hopes Anne Frank would’ve been a ‘belieber’ and Internet freaks out
April 15, 2013 11:43 AM | permalink
Posted by Susie
Justin Bieber, pictured in wax, has not been having an easy time on his European tour.
Showing up hours late for a concert in England , fainting backstage, screaming at paparazzi, and having his pet monkey confiscated in Germany.
Now the 19-year-old mega star has put his foot in his mouth via putting a note in the Anne Frank museum’s guest book. Bieber reportedly wrote:
Continue reading “Justin Bieber hopes Anne Frank would’ve been a ‘belieber’ and Internet freaks out” »
#askDorito accidentally gives orange snack food free publicity
April 12, 2013 11:05 AM | permalink
Posted by Susie
The trend at the top is promoted, they had to shell out bucks to get on the board. It’s for some new fruit and milk product that’s totally unknown. They probs paid a fortune for it. But #askDorito is also currently roaring up the charts as people on Twitter ask the iconic orange snack chips questions.
People are writing, “#askDoritoWHY DO YOU LEAVE WEIRD ORANGE STUFF ON MY FINGERS” and clever bits like, “#askDorito any chance of doing a Golden Girls inspired line of Doritos? #CoolBlance”
So much buzz and chatter! It’s a dream come true for a brand. How did they do it? Easy: They didn’t.
In fact, the chips are currently asleep at the wheel during the social media gift from above — they haven’t tweeted in three days from the official Doritos account. DoritosUK, Doritos Venezuela, etc. — all their official accounts aren’t on the big story about them that originated, not from the heavens, but from Down Under…
Continue reading “#askDorito accidentally gives orange snack food free publicity” »
Photos: Dumbest festivals ever
April 11, 2013 11:02 AM | permalink
Posted by Susie
Festivals are people gathering to have fun. But which are the freakiest ones in the whole wide world? We’ve rounded up 17 multiple-day extravaganzas that lure people to towns they normally wouldn’t visit if you paid them, to do things most normal people wouldn’t do.
From Japan’s Nakedness Festival, to the Redneck Games you see here, and way beyond — this weird festival photo gallery should not be missed.
Who knows, maybe this time next year we’ll see you attempting to rip the head off a goose or winning an alien pet costume contest. Here’s hoping!
PHOTOS: Dumbest Festivals Ever
[truTV]
Woman mistakes her pencil sharpener for coffee grinder
April 11, 2013 8:36 AM | permalink
Posted by Susie
Who would do that? What an idiot!
Um, that idiot is me, this morning.
Sure I was sleepy but… it’s not that hard to do, swear!
Check out this big beautiful photo and see what you think:
Continue reading “Woman mistakes her pencil sharpener for coffee grinder” »
Joba Chamberlain mustache shave taken super seriously because why the heck not?
April 09, 2013 10:52 AM | permalink
Posted by Susie
Baseball and mustaches go together like hot dogs and relish — it looks like bile on penis but somehow it endures. Take mustached baseball supermodel Rollie Fingers, for example. The baseball mustache can be enjoyable, even sexy. So why Joba, why? Why did you shave your lovely ‘stache on Sunday?
Thing is I know why Yankees relief pitcher Joba Chamberlain shaved. Or at least we have a good dumb theory. But before the big reveal, here’s a shout out to writer Jason Gay for a rollicking piece I spied on WSJ.com about this facial freakishness called Requiem for the Joba Mustache. In the piece, Gay waxes poetic about the thing Joba could’ve waxed off:
It was a mustache to behold. When Chamberlain revealed it upon his arrival in Tampa, it was wispy and unserious, a translucent caterpillar. But six weeks later it had evolved into something robust, almost preening in its fuzziness and breadth. This was a mustache that wanted to be seen. Already it had been compared with the mustache of a sea captain, or a Brooklyn bartender, or that of a cable repairman who wasn’t really there to fix the cable.
Freakin’ excellent writing, that is. Anywho, the piece mourns the loss of the mustache but doesn’t delve into why it happened. Sure it quotes Joba saying, “It wasn’t working, so we decided to get rid of it,” but that leaves about as many questions as Joba has follicles on his face.
Here’s why:
Continue reading “Joba Chamberlain mustache shave taken super seriously because why the heck not?” »
Florida woman says Goldfish cracker is a sign from the lord
April 08, 2013 10:40 AM | permalink
Posted by Susie
Patti Burke, pictured, is a Melbourne, FL resident who eats two to three pounds of Goldfish crackers a week. And she concentrates on them, looking for the ones that have the most salt. So it’d be easy to say this woman was crackers, would it not?
Well she found a cracker that had unusual markings on it. Looks like an “x” in a circle… maybe a little circle above the eye… did she leap to the conclusion that is was a sign from above? No. She thought she’d won something so she called Pepperidge Farms to say she’d found the “lucky” cracker.
Continue reading “Florida woman says Goldfish cracker is a sign from the lord” »
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