Dumb as a Blog
Art student has 68 vials of his own semen confiscated by school
March 04, 2013 3:30 PM | permalink
Posted by Ritch
Julian Ilcheff Borissoff
You know how it can seem sometimes like art students are just masturbating all day, and passing it off as art?
Well, that was actually the point of the final project of School of Visual Arts student Marc Bradley Johnson, as dully obvious as it is. His artwork, entitled Take This Sperm And Be Free Of Me consisted of a refrigerator with 68 vials of Johnson’s dead sperm, (not pictured) which the audience was allowed to take home. Of course, that was before the school seized the fridge, and threatened to have it disposed of as hazardous bio-waste. The artist responded by claiming his work was being censored, because OF COURSE HE DID, and then a whole bunch more stuff happened…
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Brazilian man’s hilarious vocal warmup
March 01, 2013 2:33 PM | permalink
Posted by Ritch
Wait, did I say Brazilian man’s vocal warmup?
I meant to say “Brazilian man who sounds an awful lot like one of those goats-who-scream-like-people” goats.
He really rips it at the 3:57 mark.
After the jump, check out the goat video, if you’re not one of the 9 million who’ve already seen it, so you can judge for yourself.
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PHOTOS: 5 Unconventional Catholics that could become the new Pope
February 27, 2013 5:03 PM | permalink
Posted by Ritch
Pope Benedict made his final public appearance before retiring today, and people are already buzzing about who will replace him.
But how do you become the new pope? What qualifications do you need? It’s simple: be Catholic, non-married, and a man.
Historically, it’s helped if you’re also a cardinal, but since that isn’t a hard and fast rule, really, why SHOULDN’T Richard Simmons get the gig?
Check out potential pope Richard, and our other four candidates right here:
[5 UNCONVENTIONAL CATHOLICS THAT COULD BECOME THE NEW POPE]
[truTV]
Michigan pornography enthusiast has entire collection stolen, then replaced by porn companies
February 26, 2013 6:22 PM | permalink
Posted by Ritch
Did you ever see the movie It’s a Wonderful Life? It’s a charming Christmas tale of redemption and self-acceptance, when a good man reaches a low point in his life, and his community rallies around him, supports him and shows him that no man who has friends is ever truly alone.
And now we have the porn version of that.
No, not a porn parody, although if there was a porn parody, I’m pretty sure I’d know what would have distracted Uncle Billy at the bank. I mean a real-life version of a man who gets bailed out by his community in a time of need. And he happens to be a porn freak.
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Aubrey Plaza gives Bon Appetit magazine the stupidest food interview of all time
February 22, 2013 6:44 PM | permalink
Posted by Ritch
Photo: David Shankbone
If you’re not familiar with Parks and Recreation star Aubrey Plaza, she’s an actress who usually plays girls who drop out of the world because it’s so lame, yet remain sexy enough that she can rejoin it instantly at a moment’s notice, if she ever decides to stop pouting. It’s an appealing character, mainly to the type of person who doesn’t let the fact that they never write anything stop them from acquiring a collection of antique typewriters, or Hollywood types who think “Catcher In The Rye” could be adapted into a decent movie if only Holden Caulfield was played by a hot 19-year-old girl.
She’s kind of insufferable.
Anyway, she’s also given one of the stupidest interviews in recorded history to Bon Appetit magazine. In it, she’s pictured eating a bowl of sugar cereal, with milk running down her chin, because BON APPETIT, am I right? The interview itself is amazing, especially considering this is a food magazine, and all she talks about is her inability to cook, the fact she eats candy and sugar cereal all day long, and then ends with a charming anecdote about throwing up a meal. Yes, this interview in a food magazine features binging AND purging! Perfect for the aspiring chef!
After the jump, enjoy some jaw-dropping highlights, with commentary:
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Watch a Canadian eating peanut butter in space
February 21, 2013 4:03 PM | permalink
Posted by Ritch
Remember when you were a kid, and you wanted to be an astronaut, so you could blast into space like Han Solo, outracing enemy starships, investigating alien worlds, and boldly going where no man has gone before?
Surprise, dummy, it’s not really like that.
That being said, space exploration isn’t completely devoid of adventure. For example, here’s Canadian astronaut Chris Hadfield, showing you how to make a peanut butter and honey sandwich on a tortilla… IN SPACE!!! (video after the jump)
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Russian metor strike doesn’t mean the world is ending. But it doesn’t look good.
February 15, 2013 2:37 PM | permalink
Posted by Ritch
A METEORITE?
ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME?
Like most of you, I woke up to sensational video of rocks plummeting from space into the Russian Urals this morning. Just wondering, but does anyone else notice that living on earth this week is starting to feel a whole lot like this scene from The Man With Two Brains?
I’m not quite sure I’m ready to grow out my beard and hit the streets with an “The End is Nigh” sign, but let’s take a good hard look at what’s gone down recently:
I’m not a particularly religious guy, but we live in a culture where even Jay Leno won’t leave his job. And the guy who throws over 6 centuries of tradition is Pope Benedict XVI, a guy widely known as one of the biggest conservatives in the Vatican? That doesn’t strike anybody as just a little odd? I mean, do you know how conservative you have to be to be the “most conservative catholic in the Vatican?” This isn’tthe friggin’ Iowa straw poll, it’s THE VATICAN. The bar is for the word “conservative” is more than a whisker higher. That means there were cardinals walking around that place saying “Yeah- well, I definitely think abortion is murder, homosexuals will burn in hell, contraception should be illegal and women should never be priests, but THAT GUY’S CRAZY.”
Continue reading “Russian metor strike doesn’t mean the world is ending. But it doesn’t look good.” »
Marco Rubio’s speech, just dry mouth noise edition
February 13, 2013 5:00 PM | permalink
Posted by Ritch
If the only thing you knew about Marco Rubio’s Republican response to President Obama’s State Of The Union speech last night was what you heard about on social media, you could be forgiven if you thought it sounded like this:
That incredibly difficult to listen to remix courtesy of comedian Joe Mande, on Twitter.
I highly recommend checking out the comments on that video too, I particularly enjoyed the guy who described it “like slowly stirring mac and cheese.”
Gross.
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Kate Upton lands SI cover and a hot steaming cup of Matt Lauer’s pervy innuendo
February 12, 2013 7:01 PM | permalink
Posted by Ritch
Today.com
The last time we checked in with the Today Show’s resident lecher Matt Lauer, he was letting Anne Hathaway know he had seen her vagina in just about the worst way possible. Well, the old perv is back in action , this time smarming all over the Internet’s girlfriend du jour, new Sports Illustrated cover girl Kate Upton. Video and a breakdown of some of Matt’s choicest lines after the jump, but first, notice that producers may suspect he’s becoming a problem when they instead decide to seat the female guest next to the weird weatherman who may have just messed up his pants.
Continue reading “Kate Upton lands SI cover and a hot steaming cup of Matt Lauer’s pervy innuendo” »
Justin Bieber is better at comedy than he is at spelling
February 11, 2013 4:39 PM | permalink
Posted by Ritch
How big is the Biebs?
He can just outright misspell Lorne Michaels’ name the night before appearing on Saturday Night Live:
Ain’t no big thing. Lauren’s the man, he can handle it.
Of course, I can’t imagine this slip-up bothered JB’s fans much either. On the original post we enjoyed the following comment from user marihaclaudino who inquired: “is this your dad?”
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