Dumb as a Blog
Man says cheapo shower gel burnt his testicles
May 02, 2013 9:29 AM | permalink
Posted by Nik
A 42-year-old UK man named Raymond Cuss claims that an off-brand shower gel from a 99p store left him with a burned penis and testicles. They say you get what you pay for, but roasting your meat and two veg seems like it’d cost more than two U.S. dollars. This dude, at left, is not Cuss. But he is, however, the only iStock photo we could find tagged “groin pain.”
Cuss, said a layer of skin was ripped from his manhood and left glowing red after using the a cheap off-brand shower gel in the shower. He was awarded £1,000 in an out of court settlement. Apparently, he used an off-brand lawyer to take his case as well.
The chemistry experts over at the 99p Store suggested that the reaction was due to the carpet cleaning chemicals Cuss used in his job that somehow mixed with the gel. But unless he directly applied the carpet cleaner on his own personal rug then I doubt that was the reason for his burn.
Why did Cuss buy the Dettol brand shower gel?
Continue reading “Man says cheapo shower gel burnt his testicles” »
Stuffed Rasta banana is all man has after losing life savings on a carnival game
May 01, 2013 11:45 AM | permalink
Posted by Nik
A New Hampshire man recently lost his life savings on a carnival game in order win an XBox Kinect but left with a giant stuffed Rasta banana. His life savings was a whopping $2,600 or as functional adults would call it, about two months worth of rent money and a full tank of gas.
Henry Gribbohm claims that he was scammed by a game called Tubs of Fun while trying to win an Xbox Kinect which is valued at about $100. Instead of sulking off into the sunset like a normal loser he doubled down to win back the $300 he already spent. Clearly, math isn’t his strong suit.
The amazing thing is how (or why) Gribbohm explained his side of the story to the local news station.
Continue reading “Stuffed Rasta banana is all man has after losing life savings on a carnival game” »
5 Facepalm worthy Facebook posts
May 01, 2013 10:11 AM | permalink
Posted by Nik
Facebook is not losing users as fast as previously thought. The social media giant is still a force to be reckoned with as millions of new people replace the ones that leave every day. Here are a sampling of ignorant posts that Facebook newbies can look forward to seeing.
1. Well, when you put it that way. (via lamebook.com)
Woman calls 911 to report kittens having sex in her yard: Cops
April 30, 2013 9:33 AM | permalink
Posted by Nik
Yes, a Wisconsin woman caught two little cats doing it like animals in her yard, and called 911 to report kitten sex. Kids these days, no sense of decency.
Whether the cops followed up on the 911 call is unknown but I’m guessing they probably told her to film it and put it on YouTube like any other normal person. Either that or just spray them down with a hose. You’d probably doing your neighbors a favor since cat sex can be really loud.
But you’d think someone from a state where people wear cheese hats in public wouldn’t be phased by the sight of two cats getting it on, right?
If I were a cop, I would’ve done things a little differently…
Continue reading “Woman calls 911 to report kittens having sex in her yard: Cops” »
Inmates now reviewing prisons on Yelp
April 29, 2013 11:05 AM | permalink
Posted by Nik
What do Comfort Inn, Carnival Cruises, and your local prison have in common? They all get about two stars on Yelp.
The Washington Post reported that Yelp has become the newest outlet for inmates, their families, and lawyers to complain about prison accommodations. The complaints range from rude staff to less than ideal showering situations.
Even prison employees are getting in on the action. One Yelp reviewer said that, “Jail food may get a bad rap…but jail EMPLOYEE food is off the chain.” I guess the grass is greener on the other side of the electrified fence.
Some wardens almost seemed defensive when told about their prison’s high Yelp rating. In the article,
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Ambien sticky notes and Facebook fails
April 29, 2013 8:40 AM | permalink
Posted by Nik
Ever wonder what some people are on when updating their Facebook status? Well, Ambien could be one explanation. A person by the name “PoodleWorkout” uploaded his Ambien-induced notes onto Reddit and they were about as bizarre as his username. As weird as they were, they made more sense than some Facebook posts you’ll read on any normal day.
Check out these Facebook fails that are somehow dumber than this person’s sleep drug musings.
1. You’d have to be pretty high for that to happen. (via imgflip.com)
15 Facebook fails and one dumb world record broken
April 26, 2013 11:00 AM | permalink
Posted by Nik
Ever wonder what your hand would look like if it were under water for a few days? Tim Yarrow knows after being submerged in a small pool for 10 days, setting a new world record for most time spent underwater. Needless to say, no one was in a rush to shake his hand.
Here are some Facebook posts that, like Yarrow’s world record, will accomplish nothing but a good laugh.
1. We can think of one reason why you should. (via facebook.com)
Continue reading “15 Facebook fails and one dumb world record broken” »
Superman hoarder says addiction ruined his marriage
April 26, 2013 9:36 AM | permalink
Posted by Nik
"I'm so outta here, dude."
Looks like Christopher Dennis will be spending a little more time in his Fortress of Solitude after his Superman memorabilia obsession ruined his marriage. Hopefully, he has that 1975 issue of Playboy featuring Margot Kidder to keep him company.
The Sun reported that Dennis’ collection of Superman toys lead to his divorce with Bonnie Finkenthal after only one year. His now ex-wife said, “If you marry Chris you marry his collection.” Before you go thinking she’s a total nofunik, know that his collection of crap is valued at £65,000 ($100,000 USD).
How expensive was being hitched to the man of steel groupie? Well,
Continue reading “Superman hoarder says addiction ruined his marriage” »
Sore loser arrested after board game turns violent
April 25, 2013 3:30 PM | permalink
Posted by Nik
A West Virginia man was arrested Sunday night after allegedly attacking his wife for cheating during a board game. He was released from custody, presumably after presenting his “Get Out of Jail Free” card to the old timey officer with the whistle.
According to the police, Michael Morris Barbour, pictured, claimed that his wife was cheating while playing a board game with another couple, and that she flipped the table over and threw a chair at him.
Barbour’s wife shot back saying he was the one who actually knocked over the game and hit her with the chair after it bounced off the wall.
The police eventually called the other couple back to examine the clues to figure out who was really guilty…
Continue reading “Sore loser arrested after board game turns violent” »
Toddler iPad addiction: Digital detox available for big bucks
April 24, 2013 2:10 PM | permalink
Posted by Nik
Richard Graham, a doctor from the UK, claims that toddlers can become addicted to iPads. And for the low, low price of £16,000 ($24,377.60 USD) he can help break that addiction.
Dr. Graham’s “digital detox” program is designed to help wean young children off of the iPad so parents can focus on more important business; like beating all the new levels of Kingdom Rush.
His youngest patient is a four-year-old girl he’s been treating for iPad addiction. Her parents enrolled her in the program after she became “distressed and inconsolable” when play time with the iPad was over. You know, like any other normal four-year-old would be after it was time to stop playing anything and eat dinner?
According to Dr. Graham, the problem may be bigger than most people think and that parents should totally enroll in his program as soon as possible. Luckily, it’s easy to pay…
Continue reading “Toddler iPad addiction: Digital detox available for big bucks” »
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