Have you ever wanted to ask a stranger what the dumbest part of their job is? Well, we have and can and did. This week, we asked stand-up comedian Selena Coppock to tell us about the dumbest parts of her job. And thankfully, she had plenty to tell us.
DAAB: What’s the dumbest thing
a stand-up comedian can do before a show?
SC: Think about what each,
individual member of the audience will think of each joke of yours. It’s a really bad idea to overthink the
audience like that. Plus, I’m always surprised—one audience member might be
dressed conservatively, but they like more "blue" stuff and another audience member
might seem like a free-wheeling party machine, but they are easily
offended. You just never know. It’s important to just go out there, share
your thoughts, and have fun.
DAAB: What’s the worst joke
you ever told on stage?
SC: It’s hard to pick one
“winner” as far as my worst joke, but I’ll go with this one. I used to have a
joke that was ALL about that 1980s TV show Small Wonder. Just about how absurd it was that that
parents had one kid (the pudgy son), then for some reason they were unable to
conceive a second child, so rather than adopting, the rocket scientist father opts
to BUILD a robot daughter. There are
kids out there who need homes! Who are
begging to be adopted. The joke goes on
to make fun of the robot daughter Vicky’s weird voice and laser eyes. It’s a long joke, 6-7 minutes or so. I did a show once and started out by asking
the crowd if they remembered the TV show Small Wonder. NONE of them did, and
yet I plowed forward with my Small Wonder material nonetheless. Idiot move on my part, but I was too new and
dumb to have a ton of material up my sleeve.
DAAB: What’s the dumbest thing
a heckler ever said to you on stage?
SC: I once got badly heckled
by a woman at a show called “Dykes on Mics.”
It was co-produced by lesbians and took place at a gay bar, but the
comedians were a mix of straight and gay, male and female. I started in on a joke about an ex-boyfriend
(because I’m a hetero… sorry, ladies) and an irate, older lesbian started yelling
at me and walking up to the stage. She
was like, “You’re not GAY!?!?! What are you doing on this show?” I was like, “You’re right—I’m not gay. Perhaps you should be a bit more
open-minded.” It was ridiculous.
Find out more about Selena Coppock here!
I'm sure these researchers had their reasons for conducting these very real studies. We just don't know what those reasons were.
Why would you put a shrimp on a treadmill and say it's not for entertainment? That'd be the only reason I'd do it. These and many more dumb studies, right here.
My high school mascot was a Native American with a headdress, which always seemed kind of racist, but even so, nothing quite compares to having a stalk of wheat or a glorified chicken nugget as your school's mascot.
Check out those dumb mascots and more in our list of the Dumbest College Mascots Of All Time.
Check out these and other incredibly dumb Olympic sports right here!
I don't have any kids, so you might think I'm not qualified to weigh in on what new parents should and shouldn't do. But you'd be wrong. Plenty of people don't have kids or trust funds or new Jaguars, but when we see our friends bragging about having these things on Facebook or Twitter, we're completely qualified to want to e-sever the e-friendship.
So what could you, a new parent, possibly do that would make your friends wish you were barren? How about making a profile page for your baby? Not only is that creepy as hell, but this is the Internet. Not your personal Internet, not your private little scrapbook made with glitter and confetti, the Internet. The everyone-can-use-it-even-pedophiles-and-generalized-weirdos Internet. So calm it down and keep that stuff as private as possible. Even if it's just so your little bundle of joy won't need years of therapy after you posted pictures of them looking like this.
Oh and if you really loved your kid and didn't want them to die, you wouldn't ask your Facebook friends for medical advice. Besides, everyone knows, that's what Yahoo forums are for: getting concrete medical advice from an avatar of a guy with frosted tips and sunglasses.
Let me start by saying this is hands down the best photo we've ever used on Dumb As A Blog. I have no idea what happened at this photoshoot or what this photo was actually supposed to represent, but whatever it is, this guy's definitely about to use some hair removal cream and slice up some cucumbers for his eyes. And it makes me wanna hang out with him ASAP. Because he probably has an awesome selection of teas.
ANYWAY, even if it's clear that I kind of wanna be in some sort of asexual cuddling friendship with this guy (who almost definitely moves his hands A LOT when he speaks, which is always neat), if he were making my life absolutely miserable in the process, I'd have to let that dream go. Yeah, sure I'd miss the coconut oolong tea he brought back from Madegascar, and yeah, maybe I'd be scared of a life without someone who looks better in headbands than I do, but when things get toxic, that's just what has to happen. So if you have a super ripped yet intensely feminine boyfriend of your own and every single person you know can't wait for you to dump him so they won't have to hear about how he's crushing your spirit, read this immediately.
We live in a country filled with stupid people. Once you're able to come to terms with that, a lot of other things begin to click into place. For instance, once you realize that (around) 70% of the people you know are hilariously, consistently stupid, then you'll no longer be surprised when you hear one of them talking about how all they plan to "eat" for the next few days is paprika, lemon juice, maple syrup, and water because while they're reading this list of almost-condiments, you'll be thinking, "Oh. This person is an idiot. I almost forgot. Continue speaking, idiot. I get it now."
We also live in a country with some incredibly fat and lazy people, so you put two and two together and you have fat people coming up with stupid ideas on how to lose weight, some of which include drinking the urine of a pregnant lady and attaching themselves to a feeding tube that makes them look like they have a terminal disease. I wish the list ended there, but lucky for you, it doesn't.
When we tried to list baby products that are completely and totally useless, we found it to be surprisingly difficult. Most baby products really do aim to make your life easier and your child safer. But then we found these.
Sure, there's a chance that once your kid starts crawling, he might run into a wall, but the odds that he'll need knee pads for all that rock climbing you have lined up for him, are not good odds at all. Also, I hate to tell you this, but your baby may not grow up to be a genius, and a CD isn't going to change that.
Here’s proof that dumb sells, even when it’s free. Over 175,000 World’s Dumbest fans have already downloaded the truTV World’s Dumbest App. Even more shocking is that they love it! The app currently has a 4.5 star rating in the iTunes App Store.
With the World’s Dumbest App you can watch clips from the truTV hit series World’s Dumbest, receive tweets from the show’s stars, talk to other fans, and get your daily dose of numbskull news from Dumb As A Blog. If that isn’t enough dumb for you, you can also scan your friends with the highly scientific Stupidity Detector to find out if they’re really as smart as they say they are. And here’s the dumbest part: it’s FREE.
If you take time-wasting as seriously as we do, we suggest you download the truTV World’s Dumbest App as soon as possible. And in case you’re wondering, the whole app is great, but the Dumb As A Blog feature is our personal favorite. Not that we have a stake in it or anything.
It's not easy being a supermodel, you guys. First, you can't eat cake, so already this job is the worst. Second, you have to work out constantly. And third, you have to talk to other models all day. Or at least mumble something incoherent out of the side of your mouth while you both get slathered in lotion on a Tahitian beach. But all those reasons aside, YOUR JOB IS TO SIT THERE AND HAVE AWESOME GENES. That's it.
So when we hear models talk about how they always felt insecure/wish they could sleep in more/wish their day went by faster, it's hard not to choke on whatever your eating at the moment. Though to be fair, that's one perk of not being a model. You get to actually eat food.
The opinions expressed in this blog are the personal opinions of our bloggers and in no way reflect the opinions of truTV, Turner Broadcasting System, Inc., Time Warner, Inc. and/or any of their respective employees, officers, subsidiaries or affiliates.
We may provide links to outside blogs or websites from this site, truTV is not affiliated with these websites and makes no representations, endorsements or warranties with regard to the content found on those sites.