An 8-foot-tall, 100-pound “Lego Man” is being held in police custody after it washed up on a Florida beach in Sarasota last Tuesday.
No one knows who or what he is. The only clues as to Lego Man's identity are the words "No Real Than You Are" which appear on his chest and the name Ego Leonard written on his back. But a closer look at the presumed creator Ego Leonard’s website hints at a possible motive for Lego Man's voyage to sunny Florida: "I am here to discover and learn about your world and thoughts… Show me all the beautiful things that are there to admire and experience in your world," it reads. Clearly, Lego Man is on vacation and keeping him in jail is nothing short of a disgrace.
The harmless yellow guy is being held for 90 days while investigators attempt to find the lost toy's owner. Keeping a rare, life-sized toy in lock-up where no one can admire its intricate design or pose for Facebook pictures with it is a an act of crime in itself against art enthusiasts, small kids and Lego lovers alike.
But after 90 days? Lego Man's destination is unknown. Rumor has it the Sarasota Convention & Visitors Bureau hopes to use the strange item to promote the area. Perhaps then he'll finally receive a little hospitality and a nicer room away from the sheriff's office.
A simple search for “How to get in shape” on YouTube, led me to an extreme fitness channel my eyes and ears were NOT prepared for. What looked like an assault-in-progress, was actually the self-proclaimed “World’s Greatest Fat Destroyer,” a fitness drill instructor named Casrock who literally beats the fat off his clients. His brutal training style may be his trademark but if you ask me, getting yelled at and hit in the name of vanity is just D.U.M.B.
The world as we know it keeps getting scarier and scarier. Natural disasters are happening more often, terrorism is still rampant, and the economy is on life-support. Let’s not forget rising crime, wars, disease and the other horsemen of the apocalypse.
How are you planning to defend yourself? Might we make some suggestions?
Continue reading “8 dumb ways to protect yourself from muggers, zombies or aliens” »
As if dashing out to buy the knock-off of Kate Middleton’s wedding dress isn’t dumb enough, hordes of women are ditching their brain power and hitting the power button on their remote controls for ideas on what to name their spawn.
According the Social Security Administration, the most popular baby names of 2010 were Isabella and Jacob…yep, same as the characters from the movie Twilight.
This means one of three things: the vampire flick has replaced baby making music during sex; new moms are planning to raise a batch of blood-suckers; or they are too lazy to think of an original name for their offspring. Tough to decide, but I’m putting my money on the latter.
Wouldn’t it be great if getting vaccinated didn’t mean getting stuck by a needle? Experts are developing a new technique that could make immunizations ouch-less. The only catch is…you must love lettuce. Who loves lettuce? It tastes like wet crunch? I'll tell you who loves to eat lettuce: rabbits.
With traditional vaccines, you’re injected with a little bit of virus and your body ups it’s immune response to the foreign agent. With the veggie method, researchers would “inject proteins associated with the disease into the lettuce to harvest and then put in a pill that you will swallow,” thereby protecting you from the disease.
Bus riders who talk on their cell phones about frivolous things are dumb. Usually these people don’t even bother to whisper their conversations, but instead speak at a regular volume and sometimes higher, so high, others can hear them through their headphones.
Having your favorite song re-mixed with an obnoxious person’s loud chuckle ain’t fun.
I can understand the emergency call to your nanny, your doctor or your job; reaching out about something urgent is perfectly cool. But having a long, drawn-out 'chat' about what color you’re planning to dye your hair or what you’ll be cooking for dinner is grounds for a dirty stare or two.
Whoever decided that asking for someone's 'number' would be a good way to find out their sexual history must really suck at dating and wants everyone else to suck at it too. Springing this question on a person is confusing and it should stop right now!
While out on the town, a guy I was seeing asked what my 'number' was and when I jokingly replied with 867-5309 he looked at me with disgust, walked away and I never heard from him again. What could’ve gone wrong? He said he loved to kid around. Silly me! I reflected after sobbing during my lonely taxi ride home, he must’ve been referring to my sex digits, not my telephone digits. How the heck was I supposed to know that?
Ladies, put down the tiaras, cancel your subscription to Brides magazine and turn off WEtv. It's wife hunting season and your tail is the target! As I type this, men in their late 20’s are feeling the pressure to tie the knot or die alone. They are heavily armed with flowers, kind words and seductive tricks to trap unsuspecting marriage-minded women even if (clutch the pearls) they are not in love with her.
Everyone deserves to find love at their own pace, but constant demands for “grandbabies” by the man’s mother, coupled with the question “When are YOU going to get married?” are usually the driving forces that push him to become a wife hunter. The poor sap, tired of being the odd man out, goes out to find a woman — ANY woman to settle down with, proving he’s not only desperate, but also dumb.
We women like to be chased, but marrying a man who treats you like prey will only end in heartache and divorce. It's a jungle out there and you must do all you can to protect yourself. Next time you feel something poke you in the rear make sure it’s Cupid’s arrow and not that of a wife hunter.
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I like to "like" things on Facebook. I am thrilled every time I discover a page where I can publicly display my adoration for something — anything I’m crazy about! I am convinced that endorphins are released when you “like.”
Ever find yourself walking side by side with a pigeon on your way to work, thinking to yourself: “what a beautiful, underappreciated bird,” and then wondering if a Facebook page existed for pigeon lovers? I did, I found, and I liked.
We all know fast food is harmful, but it’s turned straight up murderous with the introduction of Denny’s new dessert. Syrup, vanilla ice cream and a generous sprinkle of hickory-smoked bacon…yes BACON, combine to create the Maple Bacon Sundae or “Heart Attack in a Cup,” if we want to keep it real.
Salty and sweet combinations are tasty; greasy and milky ones…not so much. The only reason anyone could stomach this hot mess is because the swine is covered in sweet fudge. BLECH! Still, many gorgers will undoubtedly line up to try it out of curiosity or to break some disgusting food record.
Before you give it a taste, know that you could be licking your way to the grave. We all give in to unhealthy indulgences that clog our arteries, but do you really want to be remembered with ice cream and bacon bits running down your face, should that 5th helping do you in? Neither do I. Eat at your own risk people.
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