Harold Caswell III sounds like a character from Gilligan's Island; but he's merely today's dumb criminal.
Caswell, pictured, was arrested yesterday by Florida police on charges that he broke into a day care center and stole puppets.
Yes, puppets. "A cop, a firefighter, an elephant, a giraffe, a nurse, a chef and a
Caswell, 38, allegedly refused to go quietly and officers had to Taser him. He was charged with with possession of marijuana, battery on a law enforcement officer,
resisting arrest without violence, and burglary.
Let’s start out this Monday morning with a wonderful story about a very stupid lottery “thief” named Rocco Decarolis. I put the word thief in quotation marks because 1. He has only been accused of stealing, not convicted; and 2, he was too dumb to actually take anything.
Did a nude, reborn Jesus Christ get into a domestic dispute at a Connecticut McDonald's eatery early Saturday morning, start a fight with his mother (over his alleged virgin birth, perhaps) and drive off before police arrived?
Rubberneckers at the scene led to a multi-car pileup.
Which NFL star was just nabbed by authorities for alleging stealing some dougnuts during a 3am munchie raid?
Lois Harvey tried to rob a bank in Columbus, OH yesterday, according to Buckeye State cops.
What did her in?
The uniformed police officer waiting in line behind her.
Harvey, pictured, allegedly handed a teller a note demanding cash and threatening to kill the bank employee and detonate a bomb. As she waited for her ill-gotten booty, she noticed the cop waiting in line behind her, unaware of the crime going on.
Harvey, 40, then tried to leave the bank, but tellers alerted the officer of the attempt and he ran outside to apprehend her. The alleged thief then tried to swallow the note, but was forced to spit it up by the arresting officer.
Not since Bong Hits 4 Jesus has a First Amendment case so gripped our nation.
A judge in Illinois sentenced Jennifer LaPenta to 48 hours in jail on a contempt of court charge for wearing a T-shirt into her court room that read: “I own the [slang for female anatomy that rhymes with "wussy"], so I make the rules.” LaPenta was in the courthouse as a spectator.
LaPenta, 19, isn't taking this sitting down. "They should be out looking for people who are breaking the law," she told a local newspaper, "not
arresting someone wearing a T-shirt."
Mike Bennett, a Florida legislator, was caught looking at a picture of nude women on his laptop while an debate about abortion law was being waged on the senate floor right in front him.
Here's the video:
Bennett says that he received the photo as an attachment from a former associate and had no idea that it was a sexy photo of perky young women frolicking on a beach.
That's what I say too when I'm caught in the same scenario.
Marion County (FL) Sheriff's deputies pulled over Dana Seaman yesterday, after they say they observed him swerve three times while driving his car.
Seaman, pictured, agreed to a deputy's request that he take a field sobriety test. But before Seaman, 61, took the assessment, deputies say he took one last swig from a cup that smelled of alcohol.
It may come as little surprise that Seaman allegedly "was unable to stand on one leg, weaved when attempting to put his
finger to his nose and was unsteady on his feet during all the tests," and that a deputy couldn’t understand Seaman when he was reciting the alphabet because of the suspect's "slurred speech."
Seaman refused to submit to a breath test. He
was arrested and charged with DUI.
Joseph Velardo, pictured, didn't want to go to law school.
Not particularly stupid. Law school isn't for everyone.
But the way he avoided his J.D. is worth reading about, as it is particularly moronic.
Police in Pennsylvania are searching for the man, pictured at right, who allegedly stole $600 worth of Rogaine from a Ridley Township shop.
Even a cursory look at the thief's lush locks would seem to indicate that he has done this before.
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