Even if you have a tin ear for melody, you have to admit that a painfully stretched, mangled, or mispronounced word in a song hits your brainwaves like a jarring record scratch. Syllables are more mistreated than desperate groupies – stuffed, coaxed, and shoved into lines with no concern for their wellbeing. Musicians look at lyrics the way your dad looked at your overstuffed station wagon: “I can get at least three more suitcases in there” – but we’re here to put an end to it. Because no one is thinking about the poor words. What did they do to deserve this?
10. Alanis Morissette – “Uninvited”
We know Canucks like to pronounce things their own way in a vain attempt to be seen as something other than America’s hat, and we tolerate the occasional “aboot” and “organ-IZE-ation.” But the Canadian Edie Brickell goes overboard right at the start of this one – “FLA-turd”? You are “FLA-turd” by his fascination with you? Really?
Twitter is a tool for communication. It is also often a means of communication for tools. Look, we all know Twitter has its uses. It’s Facebook for the friendless – all of the status updating, none of the “liking,” “friending” or faux-reconnecting. It’s an unparalleled resource for self-promotion, and it gives celebrities an outlet besides talk shows, nightclubs, and reality TV to publicly humiliate themselves.
But stop it.
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