Police found the drugs in a nightstand next to Joseph Buttigieg’s bed during a raid on the man’s home. When the case went to trial, the man admitted to being in possession of cocaine and ecstasy.
“However a chemist told the court that the drugs found in Mr. Buttigieg’s house were actually caffeine, which was a stimulant which did not fall within the controlled drugs law,” according to Times of Malta. Hey, at least he wasn’t busted while toking a bowl of oregano.
Fortunately, this bad batch saved Buttigieg from a lengthy prison sentence, since trafficking caffeine is as legal as a daily dose of Starbucks.
Unfortunately, Buttigieg openly admitted to the court that he’d been doing cocaine for ten years and ecstasy for three. Presumably, the combination of those things might explain why this guy wasn’t exactly thinking clearly: At one point, Buttigieg admitted he’d sometimes take up to 50 pills at a time because the pills weren’t working. You think?
As far as caffeine pills go, 50 pills is still a ton — roughly the equivalent of how many it takes to cram for the SATs after 12 years of never studying. It seems like this guy probably should’ve known the drugs weren’t real after he took the first pill or two and realized he felt less like partying and more like having a productive day at the office.
Buttigieg was found guilty of cocaine possession based on his admission and was sentenced to four months in jail suspended for eighteen months. That leaves him plenty of time to dwell on his past mistakes, like why he didn’t just go to his usual dealer.