Rovio, the tech company behind the Angry Birds franchise, continues its quest for world domination with the announcement that it will soon be bringing its Angry Birds franchise to China’s kindergarten-aged students.
As UPI reports, “Developed in partnership with the University of Helsinki and based on the Finnish national curriculum, Angry Birds Playground will cover math, science and language as well as arts, physical education and social skills.” Hopefully, the curriculum will also cover how to get past Angry Birds level 4-14, because it’s pretty much impossible without an in-app purchase.
The program’s creators are withstanding criticism that the curriculum is tied to games and merchandise. But of course, they forgot the biggest concern.
Namely, that an entire generation that will be terrified of adorable rage-filled birds.
We’re sure this whole this is for the good of the children, and has absolutely nothing to do with Rovio wanting to establishing financial stability by forcing kids to grow up surrounded by its branding. That’s McDonald’s job.
Apparently all those reports of video game-related obesity, violence and ADD weren’t available on Google searches in China, or else schools might chicken out on the Angry Birds idea. But students around the globe can only hope that this is a new trend in video game-inspired school curricula. In a few years, perhaps the world can expect to see Math with the Mario Bros., Gym Class according to Street Fighter II, and, for the older students, Grand Theft Auto: Driver’s Ed.
There’s no indication of what will happen to the extensive program once the Angry Birds trend flies away to Angry Birds heaven. Will it be game over for the program? Or will school authorities simply regret funding such an obvious money-making endeavor from Rovio?
Maybe this just goes to show there’s truth in the old saying: “A bird in the hand is worth a crap load of money in the Chinese school system.”