We don’t know what Mr. Rogers was talking about because like family, you can’t exactly choose your neighbors. You’re stuck with the jerk until you (or they) move far, far away.
David got the short end of the neighbor stick when he moved across the street from Justin, a guy with an affinity for blindingly bright flood lights. Dave took matters into his own hands when he realized he might have to invest in some lead curtains if he wanted to stop Justin’s flood light from shining into his bedroom window. What ensued is a barrage of hilarious emails that would make any fight with your ex seem like amateur hour.
Needless to say, Justin will not be buying any Girl Scout cookies from David in the future.