Defeat never tasted so sweet for Dallas Cowboy Barry Church after he missed football practice on Monday because of a Jolly Rancher-induced injury. The NFL safety chipped his tooth after chomping down on the hard piece of candy.
Chewing on a Jolly Rancher? One does not simply chew on a Jolly Rancher! In all fairness, it was a cherry Jolly Rancher. You gotta get through those quick so you can move on to a better flavor. At least it wasn’t a grape Rancher or he may have never been able to show his face in public again.
According to Church, his injury happened about a week before practice started. By Monday morning, the pain became so unbearable he rushed himself to the dentist and had to undergo a root canal. According to Bleacher Report, the procedure caused him to miss a full day of training camp as well as a team walkthrough.
As soon as the people in the Tweetosphere caught wind of the incident, the jokes started piling on. It was like letting a fat kid loose in a candy store. Church himself expected it saying that he caught “a couple zingers” after returning to the field.
I’m pretty sure “candyass” was a popular one.