eBay, the auction site famous for its knock-off Ray Ban sunglasses and iPhones, recently had a listing for something unique: a balding old white guy.
Steve Sewell, an unemployed 58-year-old British man, unsuccessfully tried to auction himself off on eBay in an attempt to get the attention of employers.
For the low, low price of only 99 pence ($1.50 to us in the colonies), eBay bargain hunters could have had their very own human being. But despite the rock-bottom offer, the posting closed on Monday with no bids. Possibly because owning a human has historically never ended very well. Either that, or the lack of a return policy. That’s usually a deal breaker right there.
Sewell has a diploma in electrical and electronic engineering, is qualified as an IT technician and has worked as a mechanic. Another highlight of his long career: working as a toilet paper tester. Maybe Britain was attempting to ween themselves off of bidets?
In the listing, he described himself as having “some wear to moving parts,” as well as being in used condition with “excellent interpersonal skills, infinite patience and an indestructible sense of humour.” Unfortunately, without the original packaging and accessories it was just too hard of a sell.
According to the Daily Mail, Sewell claims ageism is the reason he can’t find a job. Or maybe his starting bid was just suspiciously low? Employers want to see self-confidence and self-worth. You’ve gotta be worth at least two bucks, man!