The Otago Daily Times reported that a 64-year-old New Zealand woman could only manage to grunt on the phone after she called emergency services last night.
She wasn’t tied up and gagged, as the emergency worker feared, it turns out that she’d actually just super glued her lips together.
Apparently, the woman woke up in the middle of the night with chapped lips and fumbled around in the dark for her lip gloss but grabbed the super glue by accident. By the time she realized what she’d done the woman was knee deep in ’80s sitcom cliché #321.
She was eventually treated at a local hospital where, I’m assuming, they advised her to keep her tube of super glue in the miscellaneous drawer like everyone else. Either that or invest in the Clapper.