Simon Parkes, a politician in the Labour party in Northern England, claims that he’s been getting freaky with an extra terrestrial.
He says the ongoing affair been taking a toll on his human marriage, adding to the cosmically awkward situation. Parkes also claims to have fathered a child, named Zarka, with the alien.
As Carl Sagan once said: “Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence.”
Seriously, when did England become the Florida of Europe? With politicians suspecting their cats as being spies and regular people chemical burning their junk with off-brand soap, it’s hard to believe that they produced greats like Shakespeare and Tolkien.
But back to the lurid details of the alien affair…
Apparently, the torrid romance has been going on for a long time now. Parkes claims his first sexual encounter was when he was still in his mother’s womb. I’m sure a few laws are getting broken there.
He describes the aliens as having human features with a kite-shaped face, huge eyes, two tiny holes for a nose and a thin mouth. Kind of like your standard runway fashion model.
But he’s not spending every night with his alien lover. Parkes claims that the alien only comes around three or four times a year. He goes on to explain that the alien isn’t interested in his physical appearance but what’s in his soul.
In other words it’s not really love, it’s more like a booty call from the back of beyond.