Did you ever see the movie Anaconda? It came out in 1997 and stars Ice Cube, Jennifer Lopez, Jon Voight, a cartoon snake, a rubber snake and Jennifer Lopez’s butt.
It’s kind of a classic, if you define classic as “a movie that isn’t very good.”
Regardless, it’s filled with valuable life lessons, like don’t talk to strangers, or give them rides, especially when you are in the Amazon (jungle, not website) and the stranger is an Anaconda hunter, and hey look! Jennifer Lopez’ butt!
What was I saying?
Oh right. Valuable life lessons. Check out this clip for a great example of what NOT to do when a snake attacks you. It’s in Spanish, but it’s also from the movie Anaconda, so if you don’t speak the language, you’re missing nothing:
In the clip, Jennifer Lopez’ butt ( I was skimming) sets fire to a giant Anaconda, and SURE ENOUGH, bad move, because now, LOOK OUT! FLAMING SNAKE!
Something very similar (in a roundabout way) happened to a woman in Texas this week, who tried to kill a snake she saw in her yard by dousing it in gasoline, and setting it ablaze. The flaming snake took off into a brush pile, the pile caught fire, the flames spread to the house, the house burned down.
OOPS.
On the bright side, I’m pretty sure she got the snake too.
Just goes to show. If you want to kill a snake, do NOT set it on fire. Get Ice Cube to smash it’s head in with an ax.
Will people never learn?
[Snake Blamed For Burning Down Home]
[KSLA.com]
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