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WHEW!

Thanks to the genuinely horrible people crusading celebrity journalists at TMZ, we can finally, FINALLY report that rapper Macklemore has, and I’m quoting here “jacked off… on a lot of airplanes.” He does specify that he meant in the bathroom of a bunch of airplanes,  not like- ON TOP of a lot of airplanes, which is a shame, that’d be kind of boss.

Anyway, I’m glad I know that now. Up until know, the only thing I knew for sure about Macklemore was he dresses like Cruella De Ville and his name makes him sound like Harry Potter’s gym teacher.

Now I know three things- he dresses like Cruella DeVille, his name makes him sound like Harry Potter’s gym teacher, AND he masturbates on airplanes. Or, you know, lies about masturbating on airplanes.

Not sure which of those things is worse.

[Macklemore: I've Definately SPANKED IT on airplanes]

[TMZ]

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