The Transportation Security Administration has updated it’s list of what they feel can be safely brought on board an airplane, including small knives, (yep, really) and a variety of other sports equipment. Several other obviously lethal substances have remained banned, like that tube of toothpaste you were planning on killing a guy with.
Clearly, the folks at the TSA don’t play video games, because if they did, they’d really see what kind of potential mayhem some of their newly approved items can bring. Here’s a short list:
Pool Cue:
These items, identified by the TSA as either sticks or cues, can be carried onto a commercial air liner with impunity. Sweet. Now here’s a clip from Fallout: New Vegas that shows what the jerk sitting next to you on the airplane might be capable of if the flight attendant pours him a soda, and refuses to hand over the entire can.
Lacrosse Stick:
Despite being newly A-OK for the airplane, the lacrosse stick has been classified “useable as a close contact weapon” by the official wiki for the browser-based survival game Zombie Pandemic. As you can see in their helpful graphic, it inflicts between 2 and 4 points of damage per attack, which in the game, makes it slightly more lethal than another item still banned by the TSA, the junior cricket bat.
Golf Club:
The TSA specifies that only two golf clubs per passenger may be carried onto an airplane, which would be more than enough for Tommy Vercetti, the street tough, playable protagonist of Grand Theft Auto: Vice City. In this clip, which I won’t embed thanks to quite a bit of NSFW language, Vercetti kills about five guys with a single golf club, all them armed with pistols.It looks like a seven iron. Hard to tell.
Ski Pole:
As video game weaponry goes, the ski pole is most certainly not the most lethal. That said, on the wiki for The Urban Dead,another web based zombie survival game, a ski pole dishes out two points worth of deadly force, which makes it slightly more lethal than the one point offered by say, a fuel can. And you definitely can’t bring one of those on an airplane, especially if it has more than 3.4 ounces of liquid in it.
RELATED: THE NEW FACE OF THE TSA
Hockey Stick:
A hockey stick is safe on a plane, but in the world of video games there are lots ways to hurt people with one. If you want to go old school, play NHL ’94 and split open Wayne Gretzky’s head, Swingers style. Or, you can play Dead Rising, where you can not only exterminate hordes of the living dead with a hockey stick, but kill actual humans too, like so:
[tsa.gov ]
All the dumb that’s fit to blog! Follow us on Facebook and Twitter
Like this blogger? Follow Ritch Duncan on Twitter
