ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME?
Like most of you, I woke up to sensational video of rocks plummeting from space into the Russian Urals this morning. Just wondering, but does anyone else notice that living on earth this week is starting to feel a whole lot like this scene from The Man With Two Brains?
I’m not quite sure I’m ready to grow out my beard and hit the streets with an “The End is Nigh” sign, but let’s take a good hard look at what’s gone down recently:
I’m not a particularly religious guy, but we live in a culture where even Jay Leno won’t leave his job. And the guy who throws over 6 centuries of tradition is Pope Benedict XVI, a guy widely known as one of the biggest conservatives in the Vatican? That doesn’t strike anybody as just a little odd? I mean, do you know how conservative you have to be to be the “most conservative catholic in the Vatican?” This isn’tthe friggin’ Iowa straw poll, it’s THE VATICAN. The bar is for the word “conservative” is more than a whisker higher. That means there were cardinals walking around that place saying “Yeah- well, I definitely think abortion is murder, homosexuals will burn in hell, contraception should be illegal and women should never be priests, but THAT GUY’S CRAZY.” OK, so the Pope quit, so no big deal, right? We’ll get a new Pope, and he’ll wear the ring, and eventually come to America, and oddly fill up Yankee stadium, and yada, yada, yada. Business as usual, right? Well,several hours later, guess what happens:
St Peter’s Basilica Struck by Lightning
Yes, St Peter’s Dome is pretty high up in the air, and indeed, there is a lightening rod atop of the cross at the highest point of the dome, but still. Considering this was a pope who didn’t have the best of luck with mother nature before he stepped down, having one of the holiest sites in Christendom struck by lightning a mere hours after the announcement raised some eyebrows.
The Feces Covered Cruise Ship
Yes, cruise ships are the dumbest way to travel, but that’s BEFORE all the toilets back up, it’s tow line snaps, and thousands of tourists are forced to build “shanty-towns” on deck to escape the horrible smell of sewage and the threat of serious bacterial disease. But you know, what’s a little pestilence between friends, right? It’s not like the world is going to end or anything. Now let’s take a gander at a current headline about what’s going down in Egypt this week:
“PLAGUE OF LOCUSTS RETURNS TO EGYPT”
Yeah, that’s an actual headline, from the Jewish Press. Here’s the money quote:
Egypt’s official Middle East News Agency (MENA) reported that huge swarms of locusts already have arrived in several areas, ready to feast on local crops. The numbers of locusts have increased, especially along the Red Sea coast between Egypt and Sudan.
Just give me a sign, Rebecca.
Any kind of sign.
I’ll keep on the lookout for it.
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