Pope Benedict XVI is the first pope to resign in 600 years. He announced “stick a fork in me, I’m done” in Latin — he’s quitting the gig on February 28th at 8pm (not sure what time zone, check your local listings). Although he’s a conservative type, this move is far from traditional. So we’re thinking maybe his post-papal years will be wild and crazy too? Here’s eight ideas for one powerful guy who can’t just bolt and claim he’s doing it to spend more time with his family.
6 Dumb Suggestions for Papal Retirement
1. Launch his own line of designer capes. If monocles can be back in hipster land, capes are surely ripe for a comeback. They hide figure flaws and Pope Benedict has rocked them in red, white and purple. Here’s a tagline, gratis: It’s a Snuggie, only snazzier!
2. Go on a cruise. Lots of sitting around, being served. It’s just like the Vatican except you need to pack SPF 50.
3. Although it was only for two months, the pope did tweet from eight Twitter accounts. Maybe that stress is what led him to bail. Luckily he will resign in time to lead a SXSW panel on social media.
4. Wal-Mart greeter!
5. Join iconic talk show host Larry King on that digital network he’s on now that no one has ever heard of. Because what’s better than one old guy hunching over a desk? Two!
6. Host the Price is Right. No offense to Drew Carey, but we miss having a white hair in that job.