An email has been leaked to Deadline Hollywood allegedly sent from the standards and practices department of CBS to the talent scheduled to appear at the Grammys, and the hammer is coming down on racy outfits.
Singled out for censure are the “bare fleshy under curves of the buttock and buttock crack” not to mention the “Bare sides or under curvature of the breasts.” Those are described as “problematic,” which is a different term than used by say, editors of The Huffington Post, who prefer the term “our bread and butter.” So wait- they aren’t allowing outrageous, sexy costumes this year? Why should we watch the Grammys? OH RIGHT (Let’s pause while I attempt to keep a straight face.) THE MUSIC.
They also ask attendees to avoid “see through clothing that could possibly expose female breast nipples.” Geez. What a buzzkill. I’m sure America can’t wait for the showstopping closing number featuring Destiny’s Child in Burkas. Also, “breast nipples?” Is there another kind? If there is, I’d still prefer the musicians go ahead and cover those up too. Nobody wants to see Bob Mould’s shoulder-teats.
Read the entire, silly email after the jump, but be warned, it also references “the visible ‘puffy’ bare skin exposure” around the “genital region.” Yeesh. Only a lawyer could be tasked with describing the region directly around a woman’s private area and have sound like a weather report.
Don’t worry though, these are today’s contemporary pop stars. They’ll ignore this email for sure.
Date: February 5, 2013, 10:39:56 PM EST
Subject: 55th GRAMMYS: Standard And Practice Wardrobe Advisory
-kindly confirm receipt of s&p standards-
CBS Program Practices advises that all talent appearing on camera please adhere to Network policy concerning wardrobe.
Please be sure that buttocks and female breasts are adequately covered. Thong type costumes are problematic. Please avoid exposing bare fleshy under curves of the buttocks and buttock crack. Bare sides or under curvature of the breasts is also problematic. Please avoid sheer see-through clothing that could possibly expose female breast nipples. Please be sure the genital region is adequately covered so that there is no visible “puffy” bare skin exposure. Please avoid commercial identification of actual brand name products on T-shirts. Foreign language on wardrobe will need to be cleared. OBSCENITY OR PARTIALLY SEEN OBSCENITY ON WARDROBE IS UNACCEPTABLE FOR BROADCAST. This as well, pertains to audience members that appear on camera. Finally, The Network requests that any organized cause visibly spelled out on talent’s wardrobe be avoided. This would include lapel pins or any other form of accessory.
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