We all hoped Kim Jung-un, pictured, grew up thinking his father was kind of a dick and once the old guy kicked it the new ruler would be all hearts and flowers — a regular Friendship is Magic kind of guy. But apparently the boy was thinking all the while that his paw was just not evil enough.
Sure North Korea always talked a big game — all those press releases in all caps that usually included some scary clap trap. But today’s promise to test missiles and point them at the U.S. is a new flavor of crazy. They said, “a variety of satellites and long-range rockets which will be launched by the D.P.R.K. one after another and a nuclear test of higher level which will be carried out by it.” And all this will be targeted at “the U.S., the sworn enemy of the Korean people.” Greeeeeeat.
So what do we do? Ways I see it we have a few options:
1. We can hide under a desk and cry, preferably a stylish Danish Modern one.
2. We can wait for government officials who actually have power to say or do something smart.
3. We can point and laugh.
Options 1 & 2 are really good. But in the meantime, while you’re under that desk, here’s some funny North Korea tweets. And yeah, one of them is mine because I too am a power-hungry ruler.
North Korea’s ‘testing’ a nuclear missile directed at the US. Asians are good at tests, you guys. This might be bad.
— J Chris Newberg(@thechrisarmy) January 24, 2013
Yo North Korea, Im really happy for you, But The United States had the best Nuclear attack of all time.
— Petey Plastic (@PeteyPlastic) January 24, 2013
Private to Kim Jung-un: Tons of people will back you if you start calling North Korea a start-up.
— Susie Felber (@susiefelber) January 24, 2013
North Korea will test more nukes and called America its “sworn enemy.” WHICH MEANS THE RED DAWN REMAKE WAS PROPHETIC.
— John DeVore (@JohnDeVore) January 24, 2013
I heard North Korea’s nukes are smaller than everyone else’s.Probably just a rumor.
— Sarah Tiana (@sarahtiana) January 24, 2013
Google Earth discovers a giant North Korean prison camp.It’s called North Korea.
— Guy Nicolucci (@Nicolucci1899) January 24, 2013
North Korea is the @realdonaldtrump of countries.
— Ritch Duncan (@ritchied) January 24, 2013
And you can follow blogger Susie on Twitter: @susiefelber