If you live in Washington DC, here’s what happened in your neck of the woods: Today Show meteorologist Al Roker pooped in his pants at the White House. In an interview with Dateline, the gastric bypass posterboy told a story about how, on a visit to the White House during George W. Bush’s administration, he tried to pass gas and “a little something extra came out.” I don’t know where in the Presidential mansion it happened, but for Al, it immediately became the “situation room.” Apparently, Roker hastily went to the bathroom, cleaned up and threw away his underpants. I’ve never worked as a janitor, but I’d think that if I did, and got to a point in my career where I was cleaning up at the White House, there might be a few messes I’d gotten past cleaning up. Thanks to Al Roker, emptying a pair of size 55 poopy drawers out of trash can isn’t among them.
Now in case you’re like me, and were so traumatized by this story that any future visit to the White House is as irrevocably ruined as Roker’s unmentionables, I urge you to not cancel your trip to our Nation’s capital.There are still plenty of lovely tourist attractions in DC where to the best of our knowledge, Al Roker has never crapped his pants. Here are just three:
1) The Lincoln Memorial
This stirring seated statue of the 16th President of the United States would be worth a visit even if it hadn’t been the location of amazing moments in history like Martin Luther King Junior’s “I have a Dream” speech, or Richard Nixon’s unplanned midnight visit to a group of young war protesters. Also, directly underneath the monument, there are public toilets, making it unlikely that the weatherman from the Today ever pooped his pants there.
2) The Vietnam War Memorial
This emotionally stirring monument presents two long dark streaks of reflective gabbro, listing the names of the fallen American servicemen in Vietnam, and is evocative of the scar the conflict left on the country itself. The simple listing of the names allows the visitor to take in the scope of human loss in Vietnam, without politicizing it, something that was impossible at the time. Speaking of long dark streaks, we’re pretty sure Al Roker never pooped in his underwear there.
3) National Statuary Hall, The United States Capitol Building
Also known as the “Old Hall of the House,” National Statuary Hall is one of the most popular rooms inside the US Capitol building, and a gorgeous area to behold. It was the meeting place of the House of Representatives for 50 years, is decorated with amazing statues, and thanks to the half-dome shape of the hall, a kind of “whispering gallery” effect takes place, meaning that sounds made several yards away are often heard clear as day. With funky acoustics like that, it stands to reason that Al Roker would step outside before attempting to surreptitiously pass gas.
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