I have seen the vaginas of several famous actresses.
Julianne Moore springs to mind, in a particularly bold bottomless scene in the Robert Altman film Short Cuts. There’s also Heather Graham in Boogie Nights, and I’m pretty sure I can include Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct, but to be honest, in that famous scene, I’m not really sure what I saw.
In all of these cases, should I ever meet one of these famous actresses, and I would for some reason like to inform them that I have seen their vaginas, (WHICH I SHOULD NOT WANT TO DO) there would be a right way and a wrong way to get that information across. Here’s the right way: “Hello, Ms Moore/Graham/Stone! It’s a real pleasure to meet you. I must say, you were terrific in Short Cuts/Boogie Nights/Basic Instinct.”
They would likely graciously thank me, but also know that, for better or worse, I have seen their performance in that movie, and as part and parcel of that performance, their vagina. Now, here’s the WRONG WAY, (from Entertainment Weekly
When (Matt Lauer) greeted Anne Hathaway on the Today show this morning, the host got right down to business: “Good to see you,” he said. “Seen a lot of you lately.”
Lauer, of course, was referring to Hathaway’s major wardrobe malfunction at Monday’s Les Mis premiere. While exiting her car in a tight Tom Ford gown, the Oscar nominee accidentally flashed a crowd of photographers — who quickly noticed that Hathaway wasn’t wearing underwear.
Wow. “Seen a lot of you lately?”
Hey, Matt Lauer! You’re gross!
Hathaway appeared to initially respond as though she thought Lauer was commenting about her being out in the media more than usual, because she was promoting a film. But then, Matt makes it clear- he was definitely informing her that he saw her vagina. “Let’s just get it out of the way, you had a little wardrobe malfunction the other night, what’s the lesson learned from something like that?”
Uh, howabout “don’t go on TV shows hosted by weird pervs?”
Of course, she’s Anne Hathaway, so she handled the question with class, or as much class as one can possibly muster when a 50-something year old man tells a woman more than 20 years his junior on live TV that he recently saw her vagina.
I mean, I hear that, and you know what I think? What a great conversation to have at BREAKFAST TIME.
You dun it again!
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