Have you ever wanted to ask a stranger what the dumbest part of their job is? Well, we have and can and did. We asked stand-up comedian (and he’s also a musician, writer and storyteller) Colin Dempsey to tell us about the best dumb highlights of his funny career. And thankfully, he was happy to tell us.

What’s the dumbest thing a stand-up comedian can do before a show?

Eat an entire block of fried cheese which I once did half an hour before hosting my own show. It was a disaster, unless you think an impression of Steven Wright on Valium with gas is funny. In that case, it was a hilarious success.

What’s the worst joke you ever told on stage?

Pretty much everything I said in the first year of doing stand up and most of the second. By the third year I had learned to tone down my Irish accent a little and speak slower so at least the audience could understand what they didn’t like about my act. Specific jokes? Probably the ones about minor life irritations while performing on a show to cheer patients at an upper east side cancer ward. An audience battling cancer isn’t particularly receptive to material on roommates hogging the shower in the morning.

What’s the dumbest thing a heckler ever said to you on stage?

Not exactly a heckle, but one time after bombing on stage for a painful 15 minutes a guy in the audience hugged me as I walked through the crowd to leave and said, “Welcome to America bro, you passed the test!” I’m still not sure what he meant.

Find out more about Colin Dempsey!

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