There are a tremendous number of things wrong with “I Think You Might Like It,” the new Christmas video by John Travolta and Olivia Newton John, but let’s start with the title.
You should think again.
Anyway, let’s roll this thing, and when we’re finished watching, we’ll put on something less jarring, like two girls one cup, an anaconda regurgitating a cow, or Santa Claus getting crushed under several reindeer in a sleigh accident and having to saw off his own leg to escape. We’ll divide into smaller groups and discuss the best way to deal with this.
Everyone mourns differently.
Here are, in no particular order, the 5 worst things about this video:
1) The title.
Literally anything would be better than “I Think You Might Like It.” It has Olivia Newton John in it. My suggestion: “Let’s Get Physical(ly Ill.)”
2)The private jet
No better way to come off homespun and down-to-earth than to start out with a millionaire movie star “getting the wheels down” on his private jet. Very George Bailey, fellas.
3) John Travolta’s hair.
This haircut is a hate crime. I’ve seen better looking Woolly Willies .
4) The second returning soldier
This seems at first like it will make sense. The first soldier was picked up by his family, and the second soldier was sad. So the second soldier glances over at the security guard, who stares back. Oh no! Has no one has come to the airport to pick up the second soldier? But wait- the security guard is now happy to see him! And is hugging him! Is it his dad? Why was his dad pretending to not know his son at first? He was wearing camouflage- did he not see him there? But if it was his dad, why did the soldier not recognize him at first? Did he not know his dad was a security guard? Or is the security guard just a kind-hearted Christmas angel who hangs around tiny airports hugging returning soldiers without families? There are a lot of unanswered questions here, mainly WTF?
5) Let’s not do that all night
If you’re filming a tearful, family reunion between fathers, mothers, sons, daughters, and soldiers returning from the war, what’s a good lyric to sing during those scenes? If you answered “Let’s make love all night,” I hope I’m not in your family.
Dumb honorable mentions: Travolta’s terrible soul-patch goatee, the awful line dancing, Olivia Newton John running out to hug Travolta with all the passion of a bewildered, wandering Alzheimer’s patient, the fact that they hug each other hello after she ALREADY PICKED HIM UP, Travolta’s wallet chain, and finally, this horrible video aside, the song itself, which sucks.
Christmas is ruined.
RUINED!
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