As Americans we’re competitive by nature which is especially true when it comes to shopping during major sales events. In the chaos of Black Friday — and that starts as soon as you can chocke down your gravy this year — we don’t really care what we’re buying as long as we beat the ten other people rushing towards the same thing. Before you know it, you’re walking away with a creepy Elf on the Shelf that you’re certain is possessed. So to help you avoid buying stuff that’ll keep you up at night we’ve helpfully listed the ten Black Friday items that’ll surely to lead to buyers remorse.
1. Doorbusters that are really just crap
Just because it’s cheap and labeled a “doorbuster” doesn’t mean you or anyone else wants it. A crappy coffeemaker for $7.99? A sandwich grill for $5.99? You camped out and almost got trampled for this? Everyone will be amazed… by how dumb you are.
2. Electric drill
Just because you got it cheap doesn’t mean your husband is going to ever fix anything ever.
When was the last time you pulled out your old VHS copy of “Splash”? With the growing popularity of online movie and TV stores like iTunes and Netflix, DVD’s are basically in the same boat as VHS was in the ’90s. The question now is what are you going to do with all that extra shelf space?
This seems like a great idea after you’ve gorged yourself on turkey and pumpkin pie but after about a week it’ll become your most expensive laundry you’re too lazy to put away hanger.
5. Gaming consoles and video games
With attention spans at an all time low in today’s man-children it doesn’t make sense to buy a brand new game or gaming console, even at Black Friday prices. All you need is a little patience and after about a month or two you could easily buy a second-hand game or gaming console for half the price from people who need the money to pay their rent.
6. Wrist watch
So that wrist watch you’re about to buy is water resistant? That’s kind of cool, but my cell phone can tell me what time it is AND I can check my email, play games on it, get directions, make animated gifs, buy a large screen TV and… oh, hey, that water-resistant feature is cool, I guess.
7. iPad mini
It’s just like the iPad 2, but smaller and cheaper, thus no one will be impressed. And isn’t impressing people the point of owning Apple products?
8. Zombie lawn ornament
This would make for a great conversational piece, that is if it didn’t scare people away.
9. Self-cleaning litter box
So you’re about to pay almost $200 for something your cat is too terrified to use? I’m sure kitty will thank you by using your bed as a litter box.
10. Anything that’s alive
Thinking about taking advantage of those Black Friday deals to get your significant other a pet? If you want to have someone to kiss on New Years Eve that isn’t furry or feathered — then you should probably steer clear of anything that needs a vet.
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